Women, please stop!

Feminists tend to get a bad rep for being men haters, so I’m going to get on women a bit. This is going to include just some of my own personal pet peeves, but mostly going to be genuine issues that are really just hurting women as a whole in their fight to be seen as equals. Also some of the stuff women do to put men down, which hurts equality for women too though you may not realize it. Being equal does not mean put others down or taking away from others.

When a guy comes up to you and starts flirting with you, or maybe even hitting on you, unless he is actually being rude and/or obnoxious about it, your first reaction should not be to be a complete bitch and/or put him down. With some guys, it may have taken a lot of courage for him to approach you. All you have to do is say “I’m sorry, I’m not interested,” in a polite tone. Now, if he keeps pushing it, by all means do what you need to do to get him to leave you alone. You’ve already made it clear you’re not interested, obviously you will need to be a bit more rough to get the point through. Most of the time though, if you are polite, it won’t take any more than that.

Stop judging other women’s bodies or what they choose to put on said body. If she is comfortable enough to go out in what she is wearing, it is her decision to put what she wants on her own body. The media is probably already telling her that she needs to lose weight; she doesn’t need your help. Just mind your own business.

Stop compliment fishing. If someone wants to compliment you, they will. If they feel they have to it isn’t going to be genuine either. Asking if something is nice or looks nice is a different story. Asking if that dress makes you look fat or makes your butt look big is dumb. No one is going to tell you that it does so obviously you just want to be told you look good. Stop it.

This one is aimed at feminists. If a guy opens a door for you or pulls out your chair, the appropriate response is “thank you” not “I can do it myself” or any other form of being rude. He isn’t trying to make you seem weak, he is being polite. I hold doors open for other people all the time, men and women both. It isn’t because I don’t think they can open the door themselves, it’s just a nice thing to do.

If you are a feminist yet still jam out to rap, the most women objectifying genre, shut your mouth. If you are shaking your ass to “skeet, skeet, skeet” (if you don’t know what that word means, look it up) than you don’t then get to turn around and say men only look at women as sexual objects. Why? Because you are helping perpetrate that kind of mind set. Going out and having a good time by dancing at a club is obviously ok. Go and have a good time, but maybe listen to the lyrics every once in a while.

Stop calling yourself a “bad bitch”. Saying that makes me think you are a “stupid bitch”.  I’m sure I’m going to get a lot of slack for this one. If you are truly what a “bad bitch” is thought to be (I actually see it more from teenagers, so no your not) than you really wouldn’t in fact need to call yourself that, and most likely wouldn’t feel the need to either.

Stop blaming men for you being single. Just because you are a good person (and let’s be honest, you might not be if you feel the need to blame others for your problems) doesn’t mean you are going to be compatible with every guy. That just isn’t how it works. Obviously you just haven’t found one that is compatible with you, so stop blaming men for it. Also, side note, stop getting mad at all men just because one treated you like crap. It’s just dumb. Not every man is responsible for the stuff one pulled. They actually in fact are not all the same. I know. This is some kind of new way of thinking. Isn’t it amazing!

Stop kissing other women for male attention. As a bisexual woman (yup I’m bi) that shit is not only annoying, but it is confusing as hell.

Get over the “damsel in distress” syndrome. Fix your problems yourself. Yea, obviously there are going to be things you don’t know how to fix. That isn’t actually what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is those women who are trying to find a man to get her away from her crappy family, or to help her with her financial issues, or to just protect her, or to help her support her kid (meaning just trying to find a father for her child). Men are not put on this earth to be our problem solvers. You will never be considered equal if you put them above you by wanting them to solve all your problems. If you feel like you need to be protected, take some self-defense classes, or learn how to use some kind of weapon. Again, take care of yourself. Maybe self-reliance is just a Heathen thing? *sigh*

Stop expecting men to buy you crap. Nine times out of ten, they have their own bills to pay. So he probably doesn’t have the extra money to buy you that super expensive necklace that you just must have. If you can’t get it, he probably can’t either. Oh, and stop just dropping hints or being difficult if he asks you what you want for a birthday or anniversary. Just tell the poor guy. While we are on that subject. If he constantly forgets your birthday or anniversary, just start reminding him. Honestly I forget that stuff all the time too. Some people just have bad memories. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t think it’s important.

Stop playing ditzy. That isn’t cute. Just makes you look stupid. If you got brains, show it off. If not, work on it. Knowledge is power ladies. If the guy likes stupid girls, he isn’t mature enough for you anyway.

Stop getting with a guy because you think you can change him. You can’t. He is the only one that can make that change.

Seriously, one of the things I don’t understand (and actually pisses me off) is the whole alimony thing. Child support I understand. Though with child support, they should investigate and make sure it is in fact going to the child. But alimony makes absolutely no sense to me, and frankly I think it should be stopped. If you don’t work (and/or never worked) but are getting a divorce from the person that supported you, sounds like it’s your problem. With that said, again, don’t get with someone just to help you with your financial situation. This is why I don’t understand women who don’t get a job because they want something like a sugar daddy. You are just screwing yourself over, because now if that doesn’t work out, you have no work experience to be able to support yourself. You screwed yourself over, so I don’t think he should have to pay for that. It isn’t right.

Stop with the slut shaming. What a woman does with her body is her business. A slut is typically what a woman is called if she sees sex the same way most men do. What she does with her body is her business and you have no right to even judge her.

This is the most important one.

Stop calling rape when you were either lied to by the guy or simply regret sleeping with him. Two major reasons why (in case you’re dense enough to not understand why it’s not ok). First and foremost you are ruining someone’s life. If they are found guilty, you are sending an innocent man to prison, where he will be punished by other inmates for raping a woman he actually didn’t. Even if he isn’t found guilty, he will be labeled as an accused rapist for the rest of his life. This could cause him to lose friends, maybe some family members, make getting a job harder (if it makes it to court it will be on his record) and getting a relationship harder. Secondly, it makes it that much harder for real rape victims to get justice. If enough women cry rape, they will think all women are doing so. That means they have to get incredibly insulting questions about their sex life and so on. Just fucking quit.

That is all I can think of for now.

Bring on the lynch mob!