Fuckery that really needs attention

So Lucius Svartwulf Helson and Halstead have had their own war going on between the two. I’ve enjoyed the posts by Lucius but like I said before I usually try to stay out of the drama (as much as I actually like Lucius).

But in a comment on this post, Halstead has changed my decision to stay out of it.

In a comment he called Lucius’s Gods “sad little gods”. Keep in mind (if you didn’t figure out from this name) Lucius is a Heathen. I can tolerate attacking a person (to an extent) but start insulting my Gods, and it won’t go well for you.

Here is links to all the posts Lucius made:

If Your Paganism is Anthropocentric, I Don’t Want Your Paganism

Maybe I’m Not Here to Save Your World

Everyone Wants to Save The World Part 1

Everyone wants to save the World Part 2

Let’s Disenchant the World! Part 1

Let’s Disenchant the World! Part 2

Let’s Disenchant the World! Part 3

I Am A Special Snowflake….Apparently.

Everyone wants to save the world part 1

Everyone wants to save the world part 2

To Quote Nox: “I Warned You!” Part 1

To Quote Nox: “I Warned You!” Part 2

I am not by any means under any impression that I’m a “Big Name” but keep in mind this “Atheist Pagan”, I put it in quotes because it is on of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard, is insulting our Gods and I won’t stand by for it.

Please share this shit out of this. Share it and ask others to share. Spread it around as much as you can.

Normally I wouldn’t do something like this but he really brought it on himself.

To say I’m pissed is an understatement.

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Dance Magic, Dance

So, Friday night, as I said I did my Profession.

During it was very serious and solemn.

After? Not so much.

After it was done I got applause which made me feel pretty awkward to say the least.

Now during it I had my iHeart Radio app going on the Ride of the Valkyries channel (if you don’t know what iHeart Radio is it’s like Pandora, but you chose a band or song and then they base a channel off that and play music similar to that) playing softly in the background. After the applause? Magic Dance from the Labyrinth started playing. Not exactly related and at first I couldn’t help but laugh.

If you aren’t sure which song that is, here’s a hint:

You remind me of the babe.

What babe?

The babe with the power.

What power?

The power of voodoo.

Who do?

You do?

Do what?

Remind me of the babe.

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The only time I have ever found David Bowie attractive. I don’t know what it is about this movie but, mmmmm.

If you haven’t seen The Labyrinth, how dare you, go watch it right meow! You will thank me later.

Any who, when it first came on I just started laughing. Freya wasn’t having any of that. So I ended up dancing with Freya, Thor (which is hilarious to watch), Frigga, and Frey got in on the action too while Loki stood to the side violently playing air guitar. I was laughing the whole time. I got a resounding howl from the Wolf tribe. They have been made aware of my intention to start work with them.

After the song was over Thor took my face in his hands and looked me right in the eyes, “Everything is going to change.”

Well then.

This was all done under the dark moonless sky. To say the least it was a bit sad that Mani couldn’t attend, but with the new moon it is when his connection is the weakest.

Side note

So a little side note that I forgot to add to my last post.

I’m mentioning this because of the whole thing about my brother-in-law calling my younger brother (and myself by the way, but he was a lot more bothered by it than me) crazy for having the kind of relationship with Them that we do.

I explained to him talking to someone who hasn’t experienced this kind of stuff is really difficult (especially if its a tool like my brother-in-law) and most people will think you crazy.

My thought process is there is enough of us out there, and we can’t all be crazy.

So, as someone who has a very close relationship with Them, and sees at least one of Them on a daily basis, I encourage anyone who is in the same boat to contact me if they need someone to talk to.

*Disclaimer*

I am not a trained therapist.

I am not a medical physician/doctor.

I cannot and will not give advise on medication or anything medically related.

That said, I will listen if you want someone to just talk about it. In normal every day life matters, or religion type related things, if asked, I will offer advise if I have any to give.

Feel free to email me at wolfmoonchild09 at gmail dot com.  3

If I don’t reply right away, give me some time. I try to check my email everyday. If we have gone through a conversation and I stop answering it is most likely that I didn’t really have anything to say. I don’t like to say something meaningless just to say something.

Please Just Don’t

At this point I’ve been reading quite a few blogs from godspouces or just god touched people.

There is one in particular that was asking “Why does (insert deity name) treat me differently than people I know?” and then goes into a sort of that’s not fair feeling.

You really can’t compare your experience/relationship with a deity to someone else’s experience/relationship. Even if you and the person your comparing to are exactly alike in every way (unlikely, variety is the spice of life) they will still have a different experience because that deity will need something different, or that person will need something different. They can’t go around doing the same thing with every person or nothing would get done.

Example: As everyone know there are so many Loki godspouces (not saying that is necessarily a bad thing) out there. They only talk about how sweet, caring and helpful he is. To me? He is a pain in the ass. I don’t see much of him but when I do he is stirring up so very minor chaos to entertain himself with my reaction, or at least that is  how at seems to me. Only He knows if he is actually accomplishing things there.

I’ve also seen some Odin godspouces. I haven’t seen him described as sweet exactly, but their relationship is very different from mine. To me he is a bit more of a creeper who likes to loom.

It’s awesome if you have similar relationship with a deity as someone else (it’s never going to be exactly the same) so have someone to talk with about said relationship. I’d say don’t count on it too much.

Think about it. Do you treat everyone you come across exactly the same? You feel differently toward certain people, or you need something different (say as in a working type relationship) from certain people. They have feelings, and They need certain shit done too.

Trying to compare your relationship/experience to other’s (especially if it’s not so great) isn’t going to do you any favors. As a matter fact it will make you miserable (or more miserable).

Take your relationship/experience as personal and as it is. If you are wanting to know why it is that way, certainly ponder or that (or try to ask the deity, though you may not like the answer you get), but don’t worry about Their relationship with others.

All that said, don’t push others to have a relationship with (insert deity’s name) because you have such a wonderful experience with them. It probably will not work out for anyone involved.

Small rant over.

Looking More at Fenrir

“We humans fear the beast within the wolves because we do not understand the beast within ourselves”

~ Gerald Hausman

So, per the self proclaimed nerd that I am, I have been doing some research. Looking  more at Fenrir because for some reason I just kind of feel the need to.

I started out by looking at other blogs here, I find when someone talks about something in one post it tends to be a recurring thing which means more information. Plus I was interested in people’s personal opinions from experience with him.

I couldn’t find much, which was a bummer.

Looking around on the internet I found exactly what I thought I would find. Either just talking about his role in the lore, or just a lot of hate.

I came across a thread on pagan space in my search, a person asking about worshipping Fenrir. One comment was “In Asatru, worshipping Fenrir is like worshiping Satan to Christians.” Well that’s interesting. Brought up a train of thought. Enjoy the ride!

Christianity has really colored a lot of thought in society, even for those who are pretty against it. We have God, the “good guy”, and Satan or the Devil the “bad guy”. Now you look at Asatru from outside perspective. We have the Aesir and the Vanir, the “good guys” and the Jotun, Loki and his children, the “bad guys”. See where I’m going here?

But can someone really be just one thing, all good or all bad? Even just looking at the lore. Taking Loki for example: He cut off Sif’s hair, but to make up for that he not only brought her golden hair, but other gifts for the gods. Not only making up for what he took but bringing back much more. To look at things so black and white is, in my eyes, childish.

I think the post I reblogged yesterday “Fenrir was framed!” makes some pretty good points. It really points to a bit of a cycle. Odin was told a prophecy, and by trying to avoid said incident, he really is responsible for it.

In the thread I was talking about earlier, they not only vilified Fenrir but made a sort of martyr out of Tyr for the biting off of Tyr’s hand. Tyr, the God of Justice, paid a just price for tricking Fenrir in to being bound. Simply my view on the matter.

In my search I came across another blog, on a totally different site. Pretty good post not only about Fenrir, but wolves and death (where the quote came from that I love).  It’s a good read and I highly suggest it.

I think that is all for now. I still haven’t come up with my own conclusions on the wolf, or whether or not I’m going to attempt to work with him (keep in mind the energy flood incident). He has been knocking on my door again recently.

Go figure, a wolf interested in a wolf.

Happy Frigga and Freya’s day.

How I See the Gods

One of the issues I tend to have when trying to find devotional pieces, like statues, is finding ones that fit Them as I see them. I believe everyone sees Them differently because They choose how They look to each person, also everyone’s “vision” is slightly different.

I’ve been trying to find a statue of Thor that I like, and it just seems that it can’t be done.

So I’m going to give you a little view on how I see them. I found images as close to the way I see Them as possible. I really wish I was better at drawing so I could get it more exactly, but I can’t draw people. I can draw anime women, and I’m not the best at that either.

Here we go!

Thor:

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This is the closest image I can find to how he appears to me. Very rugged almost biker type. Maybe he knows that's my type?

Why is every image of Thor so stern? This is the closest I can come to how I see Him. Usually he is pretty happy and has a very warm energy about him.

Freya:

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with golden blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes

This is pretty close, though I never see her with her hair pulled back. This is from an artist I found on etsy. I will probably end up buying this particular piece. Again, usually a smile on her face with a warm energy.

Frigga:

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Frigga has a soft kind of energy, almost like someone placing a blanket on you when you fall asleep on the couch. I usually see her with light brown, or darker blonde hair.

Odin:

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Odin is definitely a harder one to find. He is almost always depicted as a Gandalf the Grey type. Always very much older with grey or white hair. Not exactly how I see him. This is the closest I could ever find to how I see the Allfather. This is from the Gods of Asgard graphic novel by Erik Evensen. I actually own this, it’s pretty cool. Worth checking out if you haven’t already. Pretty good price on Amazon. His energy seems to be pretty blocked off, he mostly likes to observe and creep about with me at least. It’s kind of hard to describe.

Skadi:

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She was even more difficult to find. I don’t see her with blue skin or red eyes. I see her more as very pale with bluish grey eyes. The white hair is fitting and this is pretty similar to the way I see her hair. Either something like this or in just a simple French style braid, but it is white. Also thin out her lips a bit, and he expression is usually on the stern side. The bone structure is pretty similar though. Typically dawning a cloak. Her energy is very much on the cold side, and feels kind of distant. I spent at least an hour trying to find something. Ugh.

Loki:

Loki selfie with the Allfather. I just cant.
Loki selfie with the Allfather. I just cant.

I don’t have too many interactions with Loki, but this is the closest I could find what I see. Round out the chin a bit. The energy is actually warm but it always has the feeling of something hidden underneath. Probably because he is planning something. I don’t hate the guy but he can be a real pain in the ass. And I can kind of see him doing this.

Fenrir:

Fenrir_wolf_Fenris_wolf

Fenrir is the interesting one. I never “saw” him. He kind of did a metaphorical knock on my door. This picture is kind of the best imagery to go along with the wave of energy that came in when I agreed to let him through. Seriously scared me. He was polite enough though. I may give him a change again later, but he will kind of have to work with me a bit.

Other stuff I found:

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Hel art. I wanted to share it simply because I think it is absolutely beautiful. Personally, though, I’ve never done any work with Hel.

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Two others I came across on the search for pictures. The first one I wanted to post because I find it very sweet. Second one is because the little part on the bottom. Chibi Loki on chibi Thor’s shoulders screaming “Onward Thor!” was too funny. Thor was not amused but Freya and I got a good laugh out of it.

So there you have it folks! This, again, is just what I see/feel. Please share your experience!

Death – the card and the Gods

Here I’m going to talk about a few things.

There are a couple things that inspired this. Mostly when I was introducing Shadow to a bit of the lore on Loki when he became interested in her.

Loki is truly the most complicated in the Nordic path (in my eyes anyhow), undoubtedly the most hated as a general rule.

I was going through as many of the stories as I could off the top of my head while we were taking a trip together to one of the very few pagan type stores anywhere near where we live. I explained to her that when she does look more into it, to not to take the actions of Loki in the coming Ragnarök personally.

Ragnarök is a bit of a complicated subject. A lot tend to believe that it is a Christian invention, putting an end to our Gods to start anew with the “Adam and Eve” type surviving.

Let’s go with it not being a Christian invention for the sake of the rest of my explanation.

This is my feelings on it. It’s destined, and even the All Father knows it can’t be changed. It is the end of the old and the beginning of new and presumably better. You can’t start with the new if the old isn’t completely destroyed, however painful that may be. As well as with human nature, we need a bad guy. We need someone that we can point our finger at and say, that’s the one, he’s evil and the one the good guy(s) go against. This feeling almost clashes with the want to find something good in the villain. To love and hate the person, not just love to hate.

This brings me to the title of this post – Death, referring to the ever ominous tarot card. Typically shown in horror movies in the dun dun Dun! moment, showing whoever was dealt that card that they were going to die. Obviously, that’s in the movies, not reality. This perception though, has colored the view of this card. When I do readings, I always explain that the card is simply the end of something to give way to a new beginning. It is not to be feared. The end of whatever that is may be painful; you just have to hold on until it’s through and look forward to the new beginnings it will bring.

Personally I don’t fear death. It’s an inevitability. No point in fearing it, when it’s going to happen whether you want it to or not. For me, I see one of two possibilities. One, reincarnation, a possible new adventure. Two, most likely Helheim. This is where my inexperience really comes into play. From my understanding, generally Helheim is peaceful, unless you were a honorless asshole. Then, well, Hel may have other plans for you. Doesn’t seem so scary to me. Either way, something new and possibly better.

Moral of the story here: to me, Loki, Hel and Death (the card) are all misunderstood as something or someone to be feared or hated.

If you take everything at face value, you will never get any depth.

 

More than a Feeling

For those thinking “Silver, if you are hearing voices and seeing people you may need to go to a psychiatrist. That isn’t normal even if you think it is a God contacting you.”

First off, you wouldn’t say that to a Christian would you? (If you’re an atheist you just might)

Let me explain a little more on how this works, for me at least.

I don’t hear and see Thor, Loki, Skadi, or any other God that takes a fancy to crossing my path like I would hear or see, let’s say, you. It’s not that simple and usually not that clear.

When I see the Gods, it’s actually sometimes in dreams. The rest of the time, it’s not like I see them as actually there. Almost more like a holograph. Just not all there, as if they were partially hidden by a veil (do you see where I’m going with this?). Sometimes when they are there I can’t even see them. I feel them there.

It’s just about the same when I hear them but they aren’t actually there. It’s like its coming from a radio (maybe that’s why some pagans call it the “God radio”), it isn’t completely clear, and with some, it’s very muffled. Doesn’t sound the same as when I hear another person talking to me, or when I can hear my own thoughts. It always starts as the feeling of a presence. Almost like when you feel like you are being watched and turn to find someone staring at you? Close, but tends to be a lot more specific.

With some their presence is clearer than others. Thor and Loki come through the easiest. Skadi though, for some reason it’s a lot fuzzier. I’m not sure as to why that is. I have theories that I will go over when I talk about my relationship with Skadi.

There you have it folks. I can only really describe it the way it comes through to me, and can’t speak on the experiences of others that are in communication with the Gods.

 

Loki – Trickster indeed

My “relationship” with Loki is an interesting one. For the most part, it’s nonexistent.

 In the beginning the only God I had any experience with was Thor. Maybe a few months after, I started feeling another presence. I think Loki might pop in only when he is bored. Typically, he only shows up to hide something and then watch and laugh as I get pissed off trying to look for said object. Later only to put it back in its rightful place (usually after I’ve looked at the particular place a few times). My temper apparently entertains him.

More recently there was a bit of a shift.

I don’t have very many friends, mostly due to my trust issues. I have one that I have been friends with for thirteen years. We are practically sisters; hang out almost every weekend and sometimes during the week. To say the least we are very close. We’ll call her Shadow (I asked her what she wanted me to call her on here and that’s the answer I got).

Maybe about a month and a half – two months ago Shadow texted me.

I had a weird dream last night, and I need your help” Let me mention right here that I tend to have quite a few people ask me to interpret their dreams, though sometimes a dream is just a dream. I agreed to help.

 Moral of the story, Loki came to her. I laughed hysterically. Apparently my work with the Gods and all the time I spend with her got their attention and Loki took interest.

I explained to her that in no way does she have to work with Loki if she doesn’t want to. Despite the fact that he is a god, she still has the choice. To help her I told her what I knew of Loki, some from personal experience (told her about how he likes to hide my shit which she found very funny), from what I’ve seen in blogs from Loki godspouses, and from the lore. She needed time to think and apparently Loki gave it to her for a little while before becoming impatient and popping up again with more of an agenda.

She is now currently working with Loki, exactly on what I don’t know. He has been leaving me alone for the most part as of late.

Then the trickster decided to pop up when I was at a gaming/comic book/nerd store. I was looking at the Marvel merch, when I came across a Marvel Loki helmet key chain. Loki pops up and starts freaking out, pushing me to buy it for Shadow. I agreed, even though she hates when I buy her stuff, but at least I didn’t have to take the blame.

After that, nothing. Hopefully he is leaving me be for his new follower. I’ll probably ask Shadow how things are going the next time I see her. It’s all so new to her and I am trying to help her as much as I can.

Heathenry – A Journey

Just going to talk a little about the path I’m currently on and how I got there.

It really started when I was a child. I grew up in a Christian home (it is still very much the case), going to Church on Sunday mornings and church group Sunday nights and sometimes Wednesdays. I always felt like an outsider. No matter what I did I just felt like I didn’t belong. I thought something was wrong with me. I felt like I was a bad person for not being able to connect to this religion. I didn’t know I had other options and I thought that this is just what I was supposed to do, being a Christian, love God, and enjoy going to church. It just never connected. The more I tried to force it, the more it seemed like it was getting worse. I would try to avoid going to church at all costs, only ever feeling like I was being judged by everyone there.  This went on for quite some time.

Going to stop for a moment to explain a bit about my family situation. My biological father and mother are not together. My father actually lives in a different state along with my two oldest sisters, we will call them D (the second oldest) and P (the oldest). P and I aren’t particularly close, though we don’t have any issues. D and I, though, are very close. Everyone says that I am just like her, including my mother. Every time I go up there to visit them I always end up staying with her.

 I’ve gone up there twice to stay the summer, and twice (now having a job) for just a week. D would give me tarot reading and she introduced me to Wicca. At this point I knew only a little about Pagan religions in general, though I never really thought of being pagan as an option.  She taught me how to give readings (something I’ve found I’m very good at and still continue to do) and really just got me interested. I jumped on the Wiccan wagon instantly. Thinking “I’m a feminist, the main deity is the Goddess, this makes so much sense!” I jumped in knowing very little. Just knowing I love being involved with crystals, and want to do witchcraft and it just seemed perfect. (At this point I still didn’t know about other Pagan religions.) I started telling people I was a Wiccan, liking Wiccan pages on Facebook, basically diving right in whole heartedly. Then I started doing research, wanting to make sure I was doing things properly. The more research I did, the more I realized, once again I found a religion that I didn’t really connect with. Nothing personal against Wicca, it just isn’t for me.

At the same time I was sort of involved with this guy (very complicated situation that I may talk about at a later time), will just call him Fen (he’s a follower of Fenrir. Gotta love all the parenthesis). He sort of introduced me to Heathenry, sort of. He put it on my radar more or less. This, after finding out that my family (from my father’s side) descended from Vikings. On the cover of the book about my family history there is a picture of a Viking long ship! I was sort of looking around, trying to find what piqued my interest and I really connected with.  It was between Heathenry and the Celtic tradition. Spending most of my free time researching both(making sure I didn’t just jump into something this time), when someone decided to pay me a visit.

Thor decided to bust into my dreams and claim me. At first I was confused on what was going on, Fen being absolutely no help what so ever. I continued research, and came across some blogs from Godspouses, and it all clicked. Let me clear this up right now, I am not a Godspouse (not that I’m saying it is a bad thing to be one), just a follower with an interesting relationship with a God. I will post more about that later.

And there you have it folks, the rest is history as they say. This is kind of the general idea of my journey, I will get more into my relationship with some of the Gods that decide to pop into my life as well as the one with Thor.