Otter

Otter

So touching more on the vision from the seer.

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It seems that the more information I find on the otter totem/spirit animal the more I can really relate.

A big recurring theme is feminine energy/healing.

Otters have a very strong association with water, makes sense since that is where they spend all their time. Like water they are associated with creativity, fluidity, transitions, and healing. They also have some lunar associations as well. This is nothing new to me being a water sign myself (Cancer).

Otters are very playful creatures, and if one appears to you it may mean you need to get in touch with your inner child. My inner child and I tend to hold hands all the time. I’m mature enough to get stuff done and do what I need to do but I act like a great big ol’ dork most of the time. The other day I made my best friend dance with me in the middle of Wal-Mart to a Barry White song. I’m just classy like that.

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The desire is said to gain knowledge and are very curious creatures, and if you aren’t new here you probably caught on to the fact that I research just about everything that grabs my attention ( Hel, I researched about this so…).

They are quick to laugh, and I’m entertained very easily. My dad told me once it was kind of embarrassing taking me to the movies because I laugh when no one else does.

Otters are monogamous creatures that mate for life. I’m very much a one woman or one man kind of girl (remember I’m bi?) and I have always been. I tried to do the poly thing and it really never worked out for me. Not saying poly is bad or wrong, just not right for me. Hel, I’ll stop talking to any other prospects the second I become genuinely interested in someone while I’m actually active in the dating scene.

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One thing associated with Otters that I just don’t feel I process is fearlessness. Contrary to what I younger brother may think. I had the option to move to Montana (and I absolutely adore Montana) but to be honest I was too afraid of starting over (not to mention the winters). I don’t do a lot of things because of my fear. Definitely something I could use to learn from Otter.

Interesting thing I came across was the color association with the Otter is silver. It’s perfect!

Now that I’ve done the research my goal is to connect more with the Otter. I just bought a figurine, and I am working on having a necklace custom made  by Beth (and I am super excited about it). She has been absolutely wonderful so far. I just love all her stuff.

If you ever want some entertainment look up otter in Google images. Those cute little creatures are expressive.

tumblr_lcwuvaREo11qzs75go1_1280I mean look at that face! I might start using pictures of them to start expressing emotions.

*Credit for the featured image.*

Until next time my loves!

Hail Thor on His day!

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The Rose – My Symbol

The Rose – My Symbol

As of late Freya has been sending me a lot of images of roses. I mean, a lot.

The rose is not something that I would have ever associated with myself before. I’ve really just never been a big fan of them. I guess just kind of feels cheesy to me, too mainstream (hipster all of a sudden). My favorite flower is the blue orchid. They are just absolutely beautiful, but I digress.

So I figured, well, look up stuff about it!

The most you find about roses is really what you would expect: love, love and more love. That is when you really have to dig a little deeper.

The rose was also symbolic carrier of secrets.

The term “sub rosa” means under the rose and comes from the practice of Romans hanging roses above meeting tables. Here it was understood that anything said at this table, beneath the hanging roses, was forbidden to be repeated elsewhere.

Interesting, considering I tend to keep a lot of personal stuff from a lot of people in my life.

In the Tarot, in which the rose is considered a symbol of balance. Here the beauty of the rose expresses promise, new beginnings, hope. This beauty is contrasted with its thorns which represents defense, physicality, loss, thoughtlessness.

In my search I ended up coming across a site about alchemy and ended up with this little fun tidbit:

“In the Bach Flower Remedies the wild rose (Rosa canina) is used to cure apathy. Wild rose is prescribed for people who have given up, who have stopped trying to solve an unwanted situation in their life, who believe that it does not matter or that their fate can not be changed.”

Well fuck.

See, as of late that is pretty well the attitude I had taken on. I just stopped caring. My job was screwing me over (favoritism bullshit) and there was all kinds of drama going on at home. The easiest thing to do so I didn’t go mad was stop caring.

It wasn’t until after the recent break up that that changed, and I have been so much happier since.

The part of the rose that it seems most forget about is the thorns, much like the warrior aspect to Freya. It really is a perfect symbol for My Lady.

As of late I have been getting much closer to Her. She has asked for a large rough rose quartz (which I ordered at the same time as the fulgurite). And once I do the clean out of my space, will start working on keeping fresh roses for Her, ones with the thorns in tact.

Hail Freya!

Until next time my loves and keep Her day sexy! 😛

Lightning – My symbol

Lightning – My symbol

The relationship that I have with Thor tends to be symbolized by lightning.

Being the person I am a figured, “well, lets look up stuff about it!”

Lightning is a pretty regular occurrence in the natural world so it really isn’t that big of a shock that it would show up in a lot of cultures with some pretty heavy symbolism. Lightning tends to be a grand show that inspires different reactions from different people. Personally I love it. I love rain and storms (though not when I’m driving), and the light flashing through a dark cloudy sky is absolutely beautiful.

The Celts would establish sacred spaces wherever they witness lightning struck.

If a clansman or clanswoman got struck by lightning, edict states that they would be forever endowed with the power of the divine whether they lived or died.

In Native American tribes (Sioux, Arapaho, Wichita, Ojibwe, and Salish being among some of them) lightning is closely  aligned with the Thunderbird. The Thunderbird having association with honesty, truth and morality. The creature emits lightning bolts from his eyes to strike down those who misguide, milead, or withhold the truth.

The Chinese designated lightning as a symbol of fertility because of it’s affiliation with rain.

That particular tidbit makes me think of The Lay of Thrym (you know the one where Thor dresses up as Freya?) the myth that many site as giving Thor a fertility aspect.

The Greek association with lightning is fairly obvious being the head of their pantheon wields it as a weapon. To them the symbolic meaning of lightning is not only strength but as well as intellect. A symbol of intuition and spiritual illumination. This concept deals with the union of fire and water, opposite elements joining together to create a phenomenal interaction. Interestingly enough fire and water coming together has some pretty strong meaning to me. My sun sign is Cancer, a water sign, and my moon sign is actually Leo, a fire sign.

Lightening often precedes rain, therefore it is associated with water. When viewed in this manner, Lightening is the supernatural force from above which destroys, cleans out, and purges whatever is old. If you have been watching, this is really fitting for me in the stage that I’m on in my path.

Looking at the spiritual meaning/symbolism behind lighting I keep seeing “lightning and spiritual illumination” over and over again.

So yea, relevant stuff.

Thor asked me a little while ago to get fulgurite. Just bought one online today so just have to wait for it to come in.

For those of you that are unfamiliar, fulgurite is the byproduct of lightning hitting sand. It creates a natural glass tube.

The names comes from the Latin Fulgur which means lightning but sometimes it’s just called fossilized lightning.

These stones embody the powerful energy of lightning within them that was infused into the stone at the time of the event which caused their creation. This energy makes Fulgurite stones powerful manifestation tools and can create transformation on a massive scale.

Fulgurite has shown to help one to experience major breakthroughs when kept close and to release habitual patterns that no longer serve us.

It opens and clears the psychic and intuitive senses, encourages our sense of creativity and inner power, and allows for assistance with divine prophecy.

This is a particularly beneficial stone for healers, teachers, psychics and channelers as well as others who need to accurately relay information and guidance from the higher realm.

This was a very informational type post, but there really seems to be some planning going on on Thor’s part.

Until next time my loves.

Hail Thor on His day.

Tarot Personalities

I’ve started becoming a collector of tarot decks. When you do this and spend time with each deck you start to learn that each deck has it’s own personality, and some will be more cooperative than others.

So let me go over what I have!

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So the first deck I ever got was the Ghosts and Spirits Tarot.

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It was gifted to me by my second oldest sister (the one that initially introduced me to pagan religions and taught me how, sort of, to do tarot readings) when I went up to visit them in Montana. There was a psychic fair going on. It was super small but there was some nifty stuff. My sister already knew at that point that I wanted to learn. They had a few decks, though most were oracle decks, and I really liked this one. So she got it for me. She had the belief that it is unlucky to buy your own decks, which I have found personally untrue.

It has really beautiful artwork in it that is very much on the dark side. That is really the best way to describe the deck, dark. That fit me at the time of receiving this deck (I want to say a couple years ago now) but not anymore. Each card has a story attached to it, one from folk lore from different parts of the world which makes the deck very interesting. But the energy just doesn’t really fit me anymore so I have only touched it once in the last year or so.

It has now requested to be wrapped in red velvet and tied with a black ribbon since I feel it disrespectful to just toss it.

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The next deck I got was Tarot Illuminati.

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I bought this one for myself at the only local metaphysical shop that I know of around where I live. When I first saw it I felt like my heart was just going to jump right out of my chest, so obviously I had no choice but to buy the deck.

I love the imagery in it, you really have to look at the cards because every single one has a lot of symbolism to it. Each different suit has inspiration from different eras/cultures. A lot of the minor arcana have more detailed stories to them what you normally find associated with the minor ones.

This deck is very straight forward and won’t just tell you what you want to hear. Sometimes when you try to consult it about one issue it will actually delve in and find something you have pushed back that needs to be addressed instead of what you asked. This is the one I go to when I really need true clarity.

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The next deck I got was the Mystic Faerie tarot.

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This is the most recent tarot deck I purchased. Got this one at the same store as the Tarot Illuminati. When I happened upon this deck what I got was a call, so I grabbed.

I enjoy the imagery in this one as well (I tend to be pretty visual). The fae of the major arcana really have their own very distinctive personalities and they have little background stories. The handy thing on this one is for the major arcana there are basically the gist of the meaning of the cards listed at the back of the book.

This deck tends to be very mischievous (like fae) and can be very vague which tends to cause me to turn to the Tarot Illuminati for clarity but it is still helpful. It’s fun to work with and I really do love it.

I keep a small rose quartz stone with the deck in the gossamer bag that came with it.

I have decided that I need to start consulting my cards each day as part of the changes I am trying to make to better myself. This will start after I do a good clean out in my room and of my altar, which I have now been told repeatedly to do. I’m going to completely reorganize and probably get rid of some stuff, a sort of early spring cleaning. I’m really going to try to get it done this weekend. Last weekend I planned on it but I ended up getting my time snatched up by different people. Not necessarily a bad thing considering I didn’t get to see other people much while I was still with my ex.

The Vision

So in the last post I mention the seer of the kindred I am in the process of joining had a vision about me. I’m not going to go over it word for word.

This is going to be super long so I’m putting it behind a read more line. It gets sort of personal so that makes it easy for uninterested parties to just skip.

Continue reading “The Vision”

Ch-ch-changes

So to give everyone a heads up, I’m going to be making a lot of changes here.

There are reasons for this and I will share, but that will most likely be after all the changes are made on here.

Just a few updates for the moment.

I am single again, and the ex and has been going a little crazy on me. I wasn’t planning on breaking up with him yet but he had decided to start an argument with me and tried to blame the kindred for me changing. If the kindred is responsible for any changes in me, they are changes for the better and I will not apologize for that.

Speaking of the kindred, it has been going very well with them. They have made me feel welcome from day one. We had a ritual for Freyr and one for the Disir. I will expand on those in a more detailed post about the goings on there. All good things!

The seer for the kindred (who apparently chose to stay anonymous to keep things from getting awkward) had a vision about me. The chieftain’s wife (who is really becoming one of my favoritest people) forwarded it to me. Really freaked me out that that she knew it was about me because there was a lot of stuff in there that was super personal, that no one really knows.

There will be a separate post on that as well. That vision is really what has started prompting these changes.

At this point just touching base a little bit.

More to come.

Until next time my loves.

And keep Thor in Thorsday!

News!

So I’ve been silent the last couple days because they had me training someone new at my work so been pretty busy, so here are updates.

First, I need to talk about the woman I have been training. She’s a heathen! I cannot tell you guess how excited I got when I saw her wearing a hammer. I had to control myself and not jump on it. I wanted to feel it out a bit and eased into talking about it. And yup, full blown heathen. See, the only other pagans around here (and they are few and far between already) are Wiccans, so to have found a real life heathen was amazing! To actually have someone in real life to talk to about my religion, though I’m keeping the more woo stuff on the down low for the moment.

And that’s not all. She is part of a kindred. There is more to that, just bare with me.

So on the 10th, I went with my best friend to the Saint Louis Pagan Pride. First of all, it was awesome in general being around other pagans. I’m usually the quiet shy person and my best friend is the more outgoing one. Not at Pagan Pride. I was talking up a storm with a bunch of people, and frankly I really surprised myself. It was a lot smaller than I thought it would be but it is still something fairly new so I suspect it will get bigger over time, but the people that were there were awesome.

Back track a bit. I was talking with my new heathen coworker about the event, asking if she was going. She said probably not but her kindred will be having a booth there.

When I got there, I got to the booth and talked to the Chieftain of the kindred and it was an instant click. That’s right folk, I got invited to be a part of a kindred! The first two events they invited me to sadly I won’t make (well one was last week, so didn’t make it) because I’m still recovering financially from the visit to the ER. The next one is on Halloween, which I already promised my best friend I’d be going to her party, and I keep my promises. I will definitely be at the next one and I am so excited and nervous all at the same time. They are a ways from me (at least an hour) but doing that every couple of months will be worth it. To finally be a part of the physical community. I did double check with my coworker to make sure she was okay with me joining, and she actually really wants me to. After I finally go to the first gathering, I’ll let you guys know how that goes.

Things are going very well with my boyfriend. This next part might be a little much on information for some (a tad sexual) so feel free to skip to the next paragraph. Sunday morning  I actually made the first move in bed. If you have been keeping up on this blog, you know it is kind of a big deal for me considering my history. This is the first time I have ever blatantly made the first move, usually I just hint. And to say the least the result was amazing. Hail Freya for her work with me, ha ha.

Now I have a bit of a problem. The man I formerly referred to as Fen. I will now be calling him The Leo (he’s a Leo). With my relationship with Fenrir now, I don’t really feel that nickname for him is appropriate anymore. Well, had a dream about him last night. A very not appropriate dream considering my current relationship status. It is rather infuriating. For some reason I just can’t get that man out of my life. He had his chance with me, and he decided going to orgy rituals were more important. I’m sorry but I’m a Wolf. We are territorial and I will not change that. I’ve kept him at more than arms length but he keeps popping up an it really pisses me off. I don’t even think about him and then I have a dream with him popping in it, and there is always affection between the two of us in my dreams. I just want it to stop. I’m happy in my current relationship and I don’t want to mess it up.

As far as my relationship with Thor goes, and that work, everything is well. I had to put off getting a tattoo and getting the bracelet for him unfortunately with my money situation. I don’t know when I’ll be able to get the tattoo now, especially with my older sister’s baby shower coming up and then the holidays. Probably will have to wait until next year which really sucks. Especially since now my car is needing new brakes and an oil change.

All in all, all is well here. A little stressful but not too bad. I have more stuff I want to discuss but that will be in a post all it’s own, which I will try to get in today.

If I don’t get the next one up today, until next time loves!

The Hunt, the Huntress and the Thunderer

Big topic right now considering how early The Hunt started.

I’m going to dance around it a bit.

Building my relationship back up with Thor has been going pretty well so far. It’s definitely slow goings with Him being very busy with what is going on, but still going. I was not doing so good the past few days and He was actually babying me quite a bit yesterday. As a thank you I have a nice new shiny Mjolnir coming in the mail. He told me it wasn’t necessary. The one I normally wear is the first one I got. I’m not getting rid of it by any means, it has sentimental value now. But it is getting old and getting kind of dingy. Not to mention it’s more of a symbol of the relationship almost starting anew (getting the new one I mean).

The closer we have been getting again the more I feel The Hunt. I’ve been getting antsy. Most nights I’ve been getting plenty of sleep but still wake up exhausted. I have a feeling some astral stuff has been going on while I’m asleep but I can never remember any of it.

I almost feel The Hunt calling. It may have some to do with my origins in the Wolf Tribe of Vanaheim. They play a pretty big part in The Hunt. I don’t really feel like I know enough about it though to really be able to talk too much about it.

When Thor comes to me though, he seems kind of exhausted. He has definitely been busy.

Skadi’s energy has been becoming more prominent to me as of late. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but it was more in passing. She is calling me to Her again. My reaction is “well Your mark is still on my arm so of course!” She loves The Hunt. She is almost giddy which is really entertaining.

When She left me, I was really sad. She isn’t the warmest most affectionate Jotun, but she really helped me to get through a really hard time. She didn’t do this by babying me, She kicked my ass in gear. I still feel a fierce loyalty to her.

Freya’s reaction to The Hunt? Imagine a gorgeous blond with brilliant blue eyes in a sort of Shieldmaiden outfit skipping with a sword. That pretty well describes it. I’ve never seen her like this before.

Fenrir seems to be avoiding it all, but is trying his best to make up for the time that Thor is gone.

That’s all I’ve got for now.

Until next time loves.

Happy Freya’s Day!

For the Love of the Golden Goddess

Kind of going along the lines of the tarot reading I did for Thor and Fenrir, I decided might as well keep it going for all of the Gods in my life.

Next was Freya.

I haven’t talked too terribly much about her as of late but She is still very much an active member of my life.

I asked her what She would like out of our relationship. I was consulting my Mystic Faerie Tarot deck.

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The Eight of Cups was the first card I pulled.

Just for information purposes, if you aren’t particularly familiar with tarot, the cups cards are usually dealing with emotions.

In the Mystic Faerie tarot each card as a story about the faerie on the card. This one apparently fell in love with a wood elf that disappeared. The card depicting her looking for her beloved elf, having found a dragonfly as a companion that knows the homes of the elves.

 Are you kidding me? Thank you for being so obvious that the message is from you Lady.

In the “your message” section of the description of this card, it said basically you already know what needs to be done but you have to be brave enough to do it.

Well thanks for being semi cryptic. So I pulled another one for clarity.

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The Empress was the next one I pulled.

Interesting history with this card. When I did a reading for my older sister forever ago, her wanting to know if she is ever going to have children, this was her  future card. Was made pretty obvious that it was going to happen, she just needed to be patient and get her spending under control (the rest of that is from the rest of the card, pentacles was heavy in the spread, the money suit). She didn’t believe me, having convinced herself she was barren.  For the new players at home, she is in fact currently pregnant. I still need to perform for her the “I told you so” dance. If you don’t know what that is, its a dance Elliot from Scrubs does.

Any who, back on topic.

The Empress is very much about love and nurturing. This deck specifically talks about finding the beauty in what would normally be considered plain (the stalks of wheat).

When looking at the first card, I had my suspicions on what She was talking about, and The Empress confirmed it.

Since Freya has come into my life, she consistently forces me to look myself in the eye. Forces me to see my own beauty despite how painful it may be for me (and with my history, it is painful). And once I do that, I am shown the beauty in others. To revel in it. That is what she wants of me. To see the beauty in all things and to show others the same. To not be afraid to be loud about it, to go forward.

She feels I am even more qualified for this with my work with Thor and Fenrir, my work in strength and of unbinding.

To show the strength in beauty and the beauty in strength.

The other day, for the first time ever, I gave her an offering in tears.

A video was brought to my attention. A video of an over weight woman that stripped to just a bra and underwear in a crowded city square. She put a blind fold on herself, and held markers in her hands that were outstretched.

The amount of love she received really brought me to tears, and Freya asked for them which I lovingly obliged.

That is all I have on this for the moment.

Until next time loves.