The Vision

So in the last post I mention the seer of the kindred I am in the process of joining had a vision about me. I’m not going to go over it word for word.

This is going to be super long so I’m putting it behind a read more line. It gets sort of personal so that makes it easy for uninterested parties to just skip.

Continue reading “The Vision”

Advertisements

Ancestors- Beginning

“The songs of our ancestors are also the songs of our children”
Philip Carr-Gomm

Finally getting around to start my research on ancestor work. When it rains it pours around here.

I’m starting off by really looking into Ancestor Veneration in general in Heathen traditions.

Here is a nice post by the lovely Cara Freyasdaughter, she seems to be starting down the same path I am though I definitely don’t have the resources to travel to a country of my ancestors.

Much like with Cara, my family doesn’t pay much attention to culture identity or our history. My father’s side is a bit more interested (remember the book I had mentioned before with the Viking long ship on the cover) but not by too terribly much. I have no real family traditions that have been passed down, no recipes, nada. My sister’s (on my father’s side) passing mention of the family book got me researching Heathenry (and then a certain hammer busted the door down) which in turn got me more interested in looking at my own ancestors.

I’m working on digging into my family tree. I have a strong feeling it will take quite some time. While I’m doing that, I’ll be touching on what I already know (when I get the chance). I’ll start talking about actually doing ancestor work and well as discussing some of the history and symbols of my own heritage.

For the moment I will leave you with another thing to read. This is a bit more academic and focuses on the Disir.

Also keep this in mind. We are the future ancestors.

Until next time loves. Happy Thor’s day!

Let’s talk about boobs

Probably not in the way that you are wanting though.

Celebrating Frigga today (actually this was originally typed up on Friday but I couldn’t finish it, so pretend I posted it yesterday), so I decided to talk about a mommy issue (since she is the All Mother after all!)

So today we shall talk about what those boobs are actually supposed to be for, feeding babies!

Breastfeeding is becoming a sort of trend now. The sign of the new age mother that is more “natural”. As trends go, this is definitely a good one. At this point most people know the health benefits of breastfeeding as apposed to formula for both the mother and baby. So why is there so much controversy surrounding it. Let’s discuss!

2000px-Breastfeeding-icon-med_svg - Copy

I came across this particular sign posted on the doors of a local Michaels, and also saw one on Target’s doors. It is a sign signifying that the establishment supports breastfeeding, even in public.

Here’s the thing. That really shouldn’t be necessary.

Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things a woman can do. That is how babies have been fed since the beginning of time. Saying you support breastfeeding is like saying you support feeding babies. Kind of redundant isn’t it? So if you replace “breastfeeding” with “feeding a baby” in the argument about breastfeeding in public it becomes an argument about feeding a baby in public.

First, lets take a little look at the law.

According to NCSL (National Conference of State Legislatures) 49 states, the District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location (meaning privately owned businesses). So all of them but one, Idaho.

29 states, District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws.

That’s where it doesn’t make much sense to me. So in the other 20 states that don’t have that exemption, you can breastfeed in public but get in trouble for public indecency?

Now lets get to the arguments against breastfeeding in public.

I came across this little nugget here. These are where I will start here and add some more.

The first one is that breastfeeding in public is indecent.

Yea, no.

untitled

Most of the time that is about all you will see. I’ve seen women walk around in shirts that show way more than that but are still not considered “indecent”.

1417705993_miley-cyrus-pasties-zoom

Hel, this shows more boob and was on national television.

Here’s the thing, breasts are not indecent, despite what modern society wants to tell you. The argument is that they are “sexual organs” so they should be covered. Umm, no they aren’t. Let’s take a look at the anatomy of a breast. Anatomy-of-Breast11 - Copy

And here shows for more breastfeeding specific (and layman’s terms):

breastfeeding_anatomy

Nothing sexual about that, has nothing to do with actually creating life, they are mostly sacks of fat on our chest (that is when they aren’t actually in use). The only reason they get involved in sexual play is because of those lovely nerve endings (and boy are those nerve endings fun). The attraction to women with a larger chest is a natural thing. Bigger the breast our animalistic selves think better to feed baby with, also triggers the more fertile thought process as well, now that doesn’t mean our smaller chested friends can’t breastfeed or breastfeed as well or aren’t as fertile (like I said animalistic thinking so not based in fact). The sexualization however is a newer construct of modern society. Ever wonder why in those pictures of third world countries in Africa the women are topless?

The second reason given here really pissed me off. The public breastfeeding is dangerous.

Really? This goes based off the messed up ideology that if a man sees a boob he will completely lose his control (and sanity) and attack. Okay, that may be over dramatizing it a bit but seriously I am sick of people excusing deplorable actions by lowering men to the level of sex crazed animals. Last time I checked decent human beings have control over their sexual urges, especially in the completely nonsexual context that breastfeeding is in. And I love the “asking” for harassment. Umm no, she is feeding her child. The victim blaming is strong here. But to me this seems to be a ridiculous argument. I have not once heard of a woman getting sexually harassed or assaulted because a guy saw her breastfeeding.

The awkward social interactions thing is so dumb. Once it becomes more publically acceptable (meaning women don’t have to even worry about having this dumb debate in the first place) it will be as normal as a woman bottle feeding. It’s only awkward if you make it. I don’t understand the ‘children may ask seemingly inappropriate questions about what the mother is doing” part. The woman breastfeeding is a mother and will already understand why children ask the questions they do. And finally the “the baby may make loud sucking noises that can make others uncomfortable” part. Are you a child? You can’t handle a sucking sound? Newsflash, that is how they get their nutrition, sucking, whether on a bottle or on Mommy’s nature given bottle.

Lastly, the argument that “the act of breastfeeding is physically and emotionally intimate and, therefore, should not be done in public”. Again, just stupid. So no one should kiss, hold hands, stare into each other’s eyes, hug or anything else that could be deemed “physically and emotionally intimate” in public.

My all time favorite argument (by men) is that it’s illegal for men to whip their dick out in public so it should be for a woman to breastfeed because she is “whipping out her boob”. There is just so much umm no in that argument. First, huge difference between a penis and a boob. A penis is a sexual organ, and once again, breasts are not. You don’t feed a baby with your dick (at least I pray to the Gods you don’t, if you do please kindly turn yourself in or just off yourself). As for the whipping out the boob part, refer to the above picture. Women who breastfeed have the sense to wear clothes where her breast is very readily accessible to the baby (because you try to hold a not happy hungry baby and try to work complicated clothing), and will hold the baby in place before moving any kind of clothing out of the way. So the chances of you actually seeing breast is very minimal and only if you are really watching for it.

Trying to tell a woman that she shouldn’t breastfeed in public really is telling a woman if she wants to breastfeed she has to stay home all the time, and that really isn’t right and completely unrealistic. She can’t wait until she gets home to feed her baby, because that baby will be hungry when he or she gets hungry, they don’t stick to their mom’s

Breasts are used in advertisements all the time, so the fact that people are so disturbed when a woman actually uses them for what they were intended for is just ridiculous.

bf-cover-2

Here is a link to some tips for mother’s that aren’t that confident in breastfeeding in public but want to be.

Here is a link for some responses to people directly arguing with it ( that is I you want to be nicer than what I would be).

When it comes down to it  the law is on your side on this, unless you live in Idaho.

A little disclaimer here: I have nothing against women who choose to not breastfeed. That is your body. As a matter of fact, I do have a problem with people shaming a woman for making that choice.

Until next time my loves!

Progress of Relationships – Freya

So now that I am feeling much better (hardly any pain) I can get started on this series.

It’s Friday so who better to start with then the Golden Goddess Herself.

I call her my Lady, Sister, Mother, Lover, Mentor and Friend.

She is the Vandis, said to be leader of the Valkyries and receiver of Her choice of half of the honorable dead.

When I first started down the Northern Path I tried to start a relationship with Her and got no bites. I didn’t want to force it so I backed off.

Some time down the line She came to me. Sitting cross legged on my bed telling me to wear something with cleavage to church (at the time force by Christian parents to go to church at least once a month).

She hasn’t left me since.

We have gotten closer over time as most relationships tend to go.

She forces me to see the beauty in all things, especially myself. To look at it head on, embrace it and love it. Taking it wholly into myself.

She asks very little of me except to be a representation of Her in my own way.

She told me She didn’t come to me at first because She wanted to check me out first. Seeing that I had potential for her uses in this world She came to me.

She told me once She would like for me to be one of her Valkyries after this incarnation. Nothing is set in stone, but as far as I’m aware that hasn’t.

She pushes my views toward sexuality, forcing me to change it to something far more healthy. She love hanging around in the nude, which I have finally gotten used to.

She sometimes calls me Her child, sometimes Her sister, and sometimes a friend.

I feel all these things in the moments we share.

It’s a complicated sort of love but it is one that works for us well.

I bought perfume oil dedicated to her from Beth, and I wear it every day, always keeping her with me even when she isn’t actually around.

I burn her candle every day, and make special offerings on Fridays.

Some posts about her:

About the first time we met.

After a while.

As we became closer. At that time I thought having just three of Them in my life was difficult. Wow have times changed.

The Valkyrie conversation.

Just a bit of fun.

Some of the progress she has made with me.

More of the work.

A bit more about what she wants.

And that is all I have for today.

Until next time loves.

Happy Freya’s day!

I’m so proud!

So the other day while I was scrolling through Facebook (I do so often when I’m bored) I came across a picture that was posted by one of the BBW pages I follow. Yes BBW. For the new viewers at home I am on the bigger side of the spectrum.

Any who.

There was post they shared, and I can’t remember the exact words on it, but it was basically along the lines of only big or “curvy” women can be sexy.

So why am I proud? The people who follow this page are mostly either bigger women or men who prefer bigger women. The comments that the picture got? Bigger women calling out skinny shaming. Of course there was like one guy that agreed with it but I’m choosing to overlook that.

That is awesome!

My relationship with Freya really has changed some things for me. You begin to see the beauty in everyone. Don’t get me wrong, some times I have to catch my self for thinking “she shouldn’t wear that” or something in that sort of category. The brain washing of society.

Big, skinny, chubby, little, young, older, doesn’t matter.

You’re still beautiful

What Your Supposed to Be

People seem to have this need to put everything in their neat little groups. It helps them stay organized. If they put this in this little group, that’s where it belongs and that means they are/do this, this and this.

That works well with objects, not so much with people.

I’m going to speak from my own personal experience, but I’d love input from people in other “groups” and what they experience.

“Oh you’re a feminist?” that must mean you:

-hate men.

-don’t shave.

-chastise stay at home mothers.

-only care about women’s problems.

-are a “feminazi”.

-blame everything on the “patriarchal society”.

-are a lonely, fat, ugly woman with a  “bob” hair cut (yes I’ve heard a guy say all feminists are lonely, fat, and ugly with butch hair cuts).

-are actually just a lesbian.

-overly sensitive, and will attack someone over anything that could possibly be against a woman.

-will bitch out a guy for doing anything nice for you like opening doors.

-don’t wear a bra.

Oh you’re a heathen?” that must mean you:

-only listen to Viking metal (not necessarily a bad thing), and always wear their shirts.

-only got into it because of Marvel, and want to do Tom Hiddleston or Chris Hemsworth (because I’m a woman).

-are racist.

-just want an excuse to drink and dress like a Viking (my Friday nights are none of your business Mister!).

-are surrounded by misogynist pigs (because I’m a woman I don’t get called one).

-are a hipster that was too cool for Wicca.

-are a blood thirsty, war monger.

-actually worship the devil, whether you know it or not.

-are super open sexually, since your pagan (or a nice way to say I must get around).

-are doing it for attention from/to impress guys (because I’m a female Heathen).

-must fight with other Heathens about how to interpret the lore.

Oh you’re a woman?” that must mean you (not to be confused with the feminist one):

-are weak.

-only want attention.

-freak out when you break a nail.

-talk a lot.

-nag constantly.

-enjoy teasing men.

-hate sex.

-lie about how long it takes to get ready.

-lie about your weight and/or age.

-never genuinely compliment another woman, its a petty stab at her.

-only want men to buy you things.

-only want a rich guy.

“Oh you’re a nerd/geek?” that must mean you:

-are doing it for attention from/to impress guys (because I’m a female nerd/geek).

-have no social life.

-have no friends.

-spend all your time on a computer or playing video games.

-burn in the sunlight (I’m a vampire now? I’ll take it as long as I don’t sparkle).

-like all the nerdy/geeky things like WoW, or D & D.

-have no love life/are a virgin.

-must be easy because most guys wouldn’t want me.

*I’m not going to get into all the media stereotypes.*

“Oh your chubby?” that must mean you:

-are lazy.

-don’t care about your looks.

-eat constantly.

-just sit on your ass all day, everyday.

-are easy because most guys wouldn’t want you.

-are funny because you don’t have the looks (not sure how to feel about this one).

-are jealous of women skinnier than you.

-unhealthy, even when compared to people who are skinny and eat nothing but junk.

There are a lot of other groups I fall into, and frankly I don’t feel like getting into them. I’d say about 99% of these are completely wrong, and the one (well one, the feminist being chubby) has nothing to do with the category that I fall into. Some these are assumptions because I’m in both group A and B (usually in one group plus I’m a woman).

It’s seems usually the loudest of different groups are the ones that help shape our view of what the people in said group are or should be/do. Or are completely shaped by media/society.

Men Can be Abused too

A post I was reading by Lucius, inspired this.

I could tell you how long ago it was, or why but  I had watched this video a long time ago. It was really a video about the double standards in society in regards to domestic abuse, one of those social experiment deals. At first, it showed a couple, the man was yelling and being rough with a woman in a public street was people around watching. Someone called the cops, and a few people started to approach him. Second part of the video. Same couple, different area. This time the woman was yelling and was not just getting rough but had him pinned against a gate for some building and was hitting him. No one said anything, no one did anything, and some people were actually laughing.

I was really sad watching it.

We talk a lot about women dealing with domestic abuse, which we should. That said, we shouldn’t forget about the men. Domestic abuse isn’t always violent. In a lot of cases with women being the abuser, it is emotional/mental, though obviously not always.

It’s part of that societal view that men are supposed to be stronger than women. If a man isn’t, he isn’t really a man and should be abused or chastised. So when a woman is abusing a man, it’s thought of as funny because he is seen as weaker than her.

Just to get this straight. Men don’t have to be stronger than women, and women are not always weak.

This whole thought process makes it so some men believe they actually deserve the abuse. They can’t go to anyone because they would be seen as weak, pathetic, or society’s favorite word, pussy.  Therefore he is lesser and does not deserve respect or help. They don’t feel like they can go to police if it is physical, because “would they really believe me?”.

Complete and utter crap, and not how fellow human beings should be treated.

Personally, I’ve never understood some of these people in relationships. They constantly complain about the person they are with but stay. Me? If I feel like I’m to the point where I’m constantly complaining about that person, I’m leaving. Obviously it isn’t working out for either of us. Fix it, or leave. Complaining gets you no where.

You constantly belittle the person your with? Let them go and find someone better than you.

I’ve also (more recently from experience) find that someone will attack you to cover up their own mistakes. I brought up to a guy that I was upset about something he said. He dismissed it, so I let it go. Almost the exact same thing happened, so I was more persistent. He tried to dismiss it and when that didn’t work, he turned around and attacked me. He started calling me a liar, and bullshitter because I went to my best friend’s birthday party and there were guys there. Mind you, not my friends, her’s. One of them is her ex I hate, then his friend that’s engaged, another that will hit on anything that breathes, and another one was 19. Yup lovely bunch of men. Not to mention the fact that I had no idea who was going to be there because it was not my party.

The argument went on for two days, and became about what he was upset about instead of the original problem. Then I told him I was done. At first he tried to be sweet and tell me he just wanted me, when I didn’t go for it, he went with another tactic. He started telling me I just wanted to get rid of him and this and that. At first when he did that I argued. Then after a couple times of this I finally said no, I’m done. I deleted him and blocked him from everything so he couldn’t contact me or find out what I was doing.

My policy is, the first time, I’ll let it go. Second time, needs to be fixed or I’m leaving.

I don’t belittle and I don’t complain to others.

Went off on a bit of a tangent there. The abuse of men is something that needs to seriously be looked at.

Slut Shaming

So I found out this morning that my 11 year old niece is being called a slut by here classmates.

Seriously?

She is 11!

Just really ticks me off. Not only because she is my niece (which is a big part of it) but because slut shaming is starting so young.

My niece, just like me, developed early. For some reason that makes you perfect for bullying, especially from other girls. Like there is some kind of assumption that you have control over your own body and you wanted to develop before anyone else so you could get all the boys’ attention.

This is something so rampant in today’s society and it’s pretty obvious why. It’s a Christian concept.

I was on Facebook the other day, and on my news feed there was this article called “Spirit Husbands”. I thought well that makes sense, lets read this!

It was a Christian article, telling women that sex toys, porn, and masturbation are keeping God from finding them a good husband. That this behavior attracts some sort of sexual demon that attaches to you. So throw away all your sex toys, porn, and clear your thoughts of anything sexual!

Ugh!

I started reading the comments, and I was a little proud (though some pissed me off). There were a lot of women complaining about this being directed only towards women. There were some women agreeing with this, and every man that commented was agreeing.

It’s a pretty old way of thinking. Women’s sexuality is demonized (in this case quite literally) but male sexuality is perfectly normal and more so, expected.

A woman that can pleasure herself, doesn’t need a man to do so. Therefore, she has power over her own body. We can’t have that!

*I interrupt this rant with a disclaimer: Obviously men are not just good for sexual purposes, a good man can offer good companionship and someone who can fight by your side. This rant is about sexuality, so that is what I’m going to be talking about here*

Sexuality is supposed to be a male thing. If it’s masculine that means there is power behind it. Power women are not supposed to have.

Society is very slowly becoming more sex positive but it is slow goings.

People don’t seem to realize that this view point causes harm to men too.

That men are seen as purely sexual creatures, means that any time they are sexually assaulted or raped it is shrugged off. “Men love sex, how could they not enjoy that?”

Hate to break it to y’all, but men don’t always want sex. Hel, there are some men who identify as asexual.

Men are allowed to not want sex, just as much as women are allowed to want it.

This stupid shit needs to stop.

Per usual, I feel like this post was a little scattered, so I hope everyone can follow my crazy train of thought.

Polyamory

So I’m finally getting around to post about my date. Even though I have two dates with them now.

I’m sure you can tell by the title where this is going to be going.

It was a date with a couple, female and male. They had approached me to become part of a polyamorous triad.

Honestly, at first I was a bit hesitant, but I figure “hey, why not give it a shot?” Not to mention a little push from a certain goddess of sex and war wanting me to expand my horizons.

I’m not going to get into too many details at the moment, but to say the least both dates went well.

This is not the first time I had been approached by a couple looking for a third. As a default I usually respectively decline. I do tend to have jealous tendencies, and that simply does not work for this kind of relationship, so I never really gave it a chance.

Not to mention that kind of relationship is more difficult. You have to be attracted to both of them (in the triad situation), and have to “click” with both of them. Not can be really hard to find.

Not to mention the big two things I am wanting in life. Marriage and at least one child of my own.

See, I don’t do flings. I just don’t. Waste of everyone’s time, and I’m just too old for that shit. They came up front and told me they are wanting a long term thing with their third person.

That creates an issue for at least one of those things, if not both. Especially when considering they are engaged and about to be married, and already have a child of their own.

I made it clear that those two big things were issues. Obviously I won’t be able to get married if I stay with them long term. That one though, isn’t as big of a deal as having my own child is. (In Polyamory, communication is even more important than in a regular monogamous relationship)

They told me, if it works out, they will have special ceremony (though obviously won’t be legally binding) to make me feel equal. Still not sure how that will work for me. Just kind of taking it a day at a time for the most part.

This is all new to me, so I think I’m going to start posting about Polyamory as my relationship goes along. Plus, I’m a nerd and I did research on it.

It really can be related to Heathenry, considering how many godspouses there are. Those relationships are truly polyamorous. I’ve found mostly that the human doesn’t take any human lovers (sometimes they do take on multiple Gods), and obviously the god has many spouses and lovers, so it’s pretty one sided but polyamorous none the less.

More to come.

Are you kidding me?

I’ve been very sick the last couple of days, and had a date on Saturday. I’ll talk a little bit more about that in another post, for those (if any) are curious. It’s been a little….well, odd.

I had a couple of what the fuck moments these past couple days.

I’m going to talk about the most recent first because it’s fresh in my mind.

I was standing in the checkout line, waiting my turn after doing some grocery shopping.

Side note, grocery shopping tends to make me a bit homicidal. I just want to get in and get my stuff and then get out. That’s it! People constantly cut me off, or block up the whole aisle while they stare at something deciding which brand they want, or walk super slow in front of me. When I get in that store I’m a woman on a mission. No browsing for this girl.

Anywho, back on topic.

At pretty much any grocery store, at the register there is always a thing of different crap magazines, talking about what celebrity did what. My favorite *insert sarcasm* is Cosmopolitan.

On Sunday, it was a super long line, so I looked over. I saw Hilary Duff on the cover of Cosmo, which was a shocker and why I kept looking. Haven’t seen her since Lizzy Maguire days. That’s when I came across the little headline on it “The #1 Thing Men Are Good For (Besides You Know)”

What the fuck?

 I feel like this is something we don’t talk enough about as feminists (at least the not misandrists, actual feminists). Women wanting to be equal, but still wanting men to fit in these neat little box. They want macho men that will pay the bills, work on the house, and protect their family. But he better not want her to cook!

Want to know what a man is good for? Well, hopefully I would say you got with him for a not superficial reason like financial support, but because he makes you laugh, or is very loving, maybe he is the only one that gets your personal brand of weird. Whatever it is, there probably isn’t one number one thing. Each person is different. You can’t say “all of one group is good at this”. If your reason is financial stability, or someone to work on your house? Leave him. He deserves someone so much better than you.

How would you like it if there was a men’s magazine talking about how women are only good for cooking, or doing your laundry, (because we aren’t counting the “you know” thing which I’m sure is referring to sex) or whatever thing women were expected to do before we could get jobs?

Same concept.

If you are with someone just for the sex, I don’t see anything wrong with that, as long as you make it perfectly clear that it is the only reason. And I say that for both men and women (and everything in between). If you make it clear from the very beginning, it isn’t your fault if feelings get involved, which they most likely will. I know that isn’t a popular concept with women. If it is made very clear from the beginning you can’t blame anyone but yourself. Sorry, thems the facts.

I didn’t even bother looking at said magazine, just really using it as a base for my own rant.

The other what the fuck moment.

I watch YouTube videos by a Phillip DeFranco. He really cracks me up.

Anyway, he had made a video commenting about this “feminist”.

She had used a donor to get pregnant (nothing wrong with that), but the problem started when she found out the gender of the baby.

I’m sure you can tell where this is going.

The baby turned out to be male, or as far as they can tell. And she aborted.

Now, I personally do not agree with abortion, but that as an opinion for me only. I don’t see it as an option for myself. I don’t judge women who do it, it is their body after all.

This is something completely different.

She wanted the child. This was completely on purpose. She got a donor; this wasn’t the result of rape, or incest.

No, she simply didn’t want to bring another male in to the world.

Un fucking believable.

You would think, maybe she would take the opportunity to raise a good man, one that will treat women with respect, and to respect himself.

No. Because he was going to be born with an appendage between his legs, he wasn’t worthy of life.

Just sickens me.

Little side note. When they were trying to figure out my gender, apparently I wouldn’t sit still for the ultrasound so they originally thought I was going to be a boy. But, I was born a girl. My mom actually wanted a boy since she already had a daughter, but she got her boy after me. Either way, she was happy with the child she got.