What Really Grinds My Gears

Let me start out with this.

Heathen’s tend to be accused of many things. One of them is being a bunch of misogynists. I believe the reason for this is that you will find a lot of Heathen’s are men. It seems a lot of pagan women are a lot more interested in Wicca. The main deity is the Goddess so I can kind of understand, especially when you compare that to a religion that seems to be most known for battle, and drinking mead (so very not true, but if you look at Heathen stuff, that’s a lot of what you will find in the mainstream).

Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some pigs in the religions, but frankly you find them everywhere. It is definitely not heathen specific.

If you go back in history though, the Norse were actually really ahead of their time in the treatment of women. They had a goddess of war (my dear Freya), women were allowed to own property. They were in charge of the home, because they took care of it.

Fact is, that if there are sexist heathens, it’s because of today’s society, not the religion.

 

Now getting to my point.

On Facebook, I have a lot of heathen related pages that I follow. A lot of it is good stuff. Then I come across a lot of pictures of women in armor. You think “what’s the big deal?” The big deal is the type of armor they are fucking in. They are basically metal bikinis. Pretty similar to what you would find in rpg’s and really any video game that is set in a time or place where they wear armor and you have the options of playing a woman.

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I’m sure you do!

There are a few pages that will every once in a while have pictures up of women in actual armor, and the comments are always awesome. But those pictures are few and far between.

I also come across a lot of pictures of topless women, holding their breasts to cover them, with a Mjolnir pendant sitting right in between them. And the comments are always ridiculous.

This, my friends, is why people think heathens are sexist pigs.

And it really fucking pisses me off.

You’re probably thinking “Silver, why don’t you just unfollow those pages?” Because they have a lot of good stuff, and tend to actually post some really good information. It’s not like I’m reporting any of the pictures (as a matter of fact I don’t think I’ve ever reported a picture on Facebook). I just usually ignore pictures I don’t like. I just get pissed off seeing this shit over, and over, and over, and over again.

End of rant.

 

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Goddess of Sex and War…..and Church

I need to start this particular post with a bit more about my family.

I do currently live with my parents and younger brother (DISCLAIMER: I am only 21. I had moved out before but due to job situation, moved back in. I pay my own bills. Paid for my cell and pay the bill for it. I pay for my car and insurance for it. I pay students loans. I pay rent to my parents for living there. I buy my own food and extras I need like shampoo etc. *cue destiny’s child song* So I am not leaching off my parents). As I’ve mentioned before, Christian house hold. My parents are what I like to call “super Christians” especially my mother. She listens to Christian music all the time, constantly preaching, goes to church every Sunday. Reads the bible (usually loudly in the kitchen) most mornings.

As you can imagine, things are a bit complicated. We have a sort of “don’t talk about it” approach to my religious beliefs. Mostly an “I don’t talk about it but Mom will constantly preach and force me to pray” situation actually. Despite this I am actually rather close to my mother.

We had a “family meeting” a little while back when my younger brother (all of 15) decided he was going to be Wiccan, put up an altar in his room and post all over Facebook (he has the parents as friends on his) that he is now Wiccan. Deciding now that since we live under their roof we have to go to church.

Being crafty like I am, I was able to negotiate for myself just once a month. This after explaining to them the true reason I hate church, i.e. the judgy assholes that go there that had given me dirty looks since I was a little girl. I actually don’t mind learning about Christianity. Some of it is truly interesting but I hear it more as just stories, myths, and a culture.

So now, actually getting to what I wanted to talk about.

This past Sunday was the day that I chose to go for the month. I was getting ready when someone decided to pop up.

This is the first time Freya has actually come to me. I was trying to figure out something to wear.

Freya: *sits cross legged on the edge of my bed* Wear something that shows cleavage. It’ll be nice out today.

And that was just about all I got. Took me a second to realize what was going on. It wasn’t necessarily that she wanted me to show off my goods to the people at Church. She wanted me to feel confident because of the way those people make me feel. Church people can be really good at making you feel lower than dirt. And they wonder why they haven’t seen me in a couple years.

I had been making attempts before this to try to get in contact with Freya. Trying to figure out exactly what changed here all of a sudden, but I’m not necessarily complaining.

I did end up taking her advice, and I felt pretty good that day.

Gods: They show up whenever they damn well please.

 

Heathenry – A Journey

Just going to talk a little about the path I’m currently on and how I got there.

It really started when I was a child. I grew up in a Christian home (it is still very much the case), going to Church on Sunday mornings and church group Sunday nights and sometimes Wednesdays. I always felt like an outsider. No matter what I did I just felt like I didn’t belong. I thought something was wrong with me. I felt like I was a bad person for not being able to connect to this religion. I didn’t know I had other options and I thought that this is just what I was supposed to do, being a Christian, love God, and enjoy going to church. It just never connected. The more I tried to force it, the more it seemed like it was getting worse. I would try to avoid going to church at all costs, only ever feeling like I was being judged by everyone there.  This went on for quite some time.

Going to stop for a moment to explain a bit about my family situation. My biological father and mother are not together. My father actually lives in a different state along with my two oldest sisters, we will call them D (the second oldest) and P (the oldest). P and I aren’t particularly close, though we don’t have any issues. D and I, though, are very close. Everyone says that I am just like her, including my mother. Every time I go up there to visit them I always end up staying with her.

 I’ve gone up there twice to stay the summer, and twice (now having a job) for just a week. D would give me tarot reading and she introduced me to Wicca. At this point I knew only a little about Pagan religions in general, though I never really thought of being pagan as an option.  She taught me how to give readings (something I’ve found I’m very good at and still continue to do) and really just got me interested. I jumped on the Wiccan wagon instantly. Thinking “I’m a feminist, the main deity is the Goddess, this makes so much sense!” I jumped in knowing very little. Just knowing I love being involved with crystals, and want to do witchcraft and it just seemed perfect. (At this point I still didn’t know about other Pagan religions.) I started telling people I was a Wiccan, liking Wiccan pages on Facebook, basically diving right in whole heartedly. Then I started doing research, wanting to make sure I was doing things properly. The more research I did, the more I realized, once again I found a religion that I didn’t really connect with. Nothing personal against Wicca, it just isn’t for me.

At the same time I was sort of involved with this guy (very complicated situation that I may talk about at a later time), will just call him Fen (he’s a follower of Fenrir. Gotta love all the parenthesis). He sort of introduced me to Heathenry, sort of. He put it on my radar more or less. This, after finding out that my family (from my father’s side) descended from Vikings. On the cover of the book about my family history there is a picture of a Viking long ship! I was sort of looking around, trying to find what piqued my interest and I really connected with.  It was between Heathenry and the Celtic tradition. Spending most of my free time researching both(making sure I didn’t just jump into something this time), when someone decided to pay me a visit.

Thor decided to bust into my dreams and claim me. At first I was confused on what was going on, Fen being absolutely no help what so ever. I continued research, and came across some blogs from Godspouses, and it all clicked. Let me clear this up right now, I am not a Godspouse (not that I’m saying it is a bad thing to be one), just a follower with an interesting relationship with a God. I will post more about that later.

And there you have it folks, the rest is history as they say. This is kind of the general idea of my journey, I will get more into my relationship with some of the Gods that decide to pop into my life as well as the one with Thor.