Really Just Sad – Part II

Part One

I wasn’t really planning on making a second part to this. This second part won’t be as…. well, emotional. This one is going to be more about something that irritates me, and will be shorter.

So I’ve talked before about the Heathen pages on Facebook and them constantly posting almost nude women irritated me (here is the whole rant if interested). Now, I’m not one of the ones to comment bitching about it. At this point I just shrug it off.

Sometimes though, I do look at the comments just to see if anything surprising pops up.

And this morning, I got a good one.

The picture was pretty nice, not gonna lie, but again was looking for a surprise in the comments. A man commented on the relevance of the picture to our religion. He wasn’t really complaining, just questioning what it had to do with anything. Oh, and boy did he get attacked.

The first reply to it was no shocker, called him gay. Because apparently if you are a male and don’t drool and made obscene comments about an almost naked woman you have to love dick. Perfectly logical.

This is exactly what happens. I’ve seen posts on Facebook (not Heathen related pages) about a guy being told he is gay because he didn’t take advantage of a passed out girl, with the comment that he would rather be called gay than a rapist.

That’s really fucking pathetic.

That is really part of the problem that society has, something that blocks men from being able to be themselves rather than fit this macho over sexed mold.

It really puts men as the predators with this kind of attitude. And the predator can never be the prey. See how these posts connect?

Really Just Sad

So this particular post is going to get a bit into some men’s rights and treatment of men.

Last weekend (not this past one, the one before that) after coming back from Texas I spent the night with my boyfriend. Watched Supernatural (which he addicted to thanks to yours truly) cuddling, drank and went to bed. Going to bed never goes right into sleeping. We cuddled for awhile and he started talking, and then started crying. Mind you he was pretty drunk.

But he was crying because he felt like he didn’t deserve me. Crying because he didn’t have a job, or a car, and lived in his grandmother’s basement, and I was too good for him.

Made me really sad that he didn’t see himself for what he is. It also made me sad because in reality, a shallower woman would brush him off completely for those reasons alone.

But I know him. It’s not exactly a situation the he wants to be in. He is trying to get a job, and get a car, and that’s what matters to me. I try to tell him how amazing he is, and how lucky I am to have him.

It’s really just sad that it hit him like that. Batman (what I call my boyfriend) is actually more of a masculine type guy (think Thor type, he even has a red beard) so the fact that it hit him that hard really is just sad, of course didn’t help he had drank quite a bit of whiskey.

I just continued to cuddle with him and wiped his tears away. He calmed down, we cuddled more, and then had a bit of fun.

Now, fast forward to yesterday. I spent Saturday night with him after my best friend’s house warming party, which was fun.

Sidenote: My best friend’s roommate is a transgendered woman and how accepting Batman is and how easily he deals with it is amazing.

Woke up in a very wonderful way yesterday morning. We hung out in bed for awhile just to be attacked by his Australian Shepherd and two cats. It was fun. Got up, went out to eat, then went back to talk for a bit.

Now, Batman and I are two pretty quiet people. Not sure how that works out, but it does. I do on occasion get into very talkative mood. What brought it on? We started talking about religion. Not sure how it started. Batman (to my surprise, I always thought he was Atheist) is a bit of an Animist, but he was interested in some of the Norse stories. I told him a few, didn’t have enough time to get into even half of the lore based stories. The ones I got into though, he enjoyed.

Anyway, that got me in a talkative mood, and as you guys know I have a tendency to jump around on subjects.

We ended up talking about the time his friend got in trouble by the law. He hit the woman he was with because she was coming at him with a knife.

I will go on record saying the whole “there is never a reason to hit a woman, ever” is bullshit. Men have the right to defend themselves, doesn’t matter the gender of the attacker. I have seen some very violent and psycho women that really do need to get knocked on their ass.

How do those stories tie together you might ask.

Emotional and physical abuse, men can be the victims of both at the hands of women and it isn’t something that is talked about enough.

In the physical abuse, men tend to feel trapped because they get told they can’t fight because the fact she is a woman. In emotional abuse, they tend to get caught in the same loop women who endure emotional abuse go through. They believe they deserve it, or the abuser tricks them into thinking no one else will ever love them.

It is being talked more than before (that’s compared to not at all) but not enough for real progress to be made.

Men Can be Abused too

A post I was reading by Lucius, inspired this.

I could tell you how long ago it was, or why but  I had watched this video a long time ago. It was really a video about the double standards in society in regards to domestic abuse, one of those social experiment deals. At first, it showed a couple, the man was yelling and being rough with a woman in a public street was people around watching. Someone called the cops, and a few people started to approach him. Second part of the video. Same couple, different area. This time the woman was yelling and was not just getting rough but had him pinned against a gate for some building and was hitting him. No one said anything, no one did anything, and some people were actually laughing.

I was really sad watching it.

We talk a lot about women dealing with domestic abuse, which we should. That said, we shouldn’t forget about the men. Domestic abuse isn’t always violent. In a lot of cases with women being the abuser, it is emotional/mental, though obviously not always.

It’s part of that societal view that men are supposed to be stronger than women. If a man isn’t, he isn’t really a man and should be abused or chastised. So when a woman is abusing a man, it’s thought of as funny because he is seen as weaker than her.

Just to get this straight. Men don’t have to be stronger than women, and women are not always weak.

This whole thought process makes it so some men believe they actually deserve the abuse. They can’t go to anyone because they would be seen as weak, pathetic, or society’s favorite word, pussy.  Therefore he is lesser and does not deserve respect or help. They don’t feel like they can go to police if it is physical, because “would they really believe me?”.

Complete and utter crap, and not how fellow human beings should be treated.

Personally, I’ve never understood some of these people in relationships. They constantly complain about the person they are with but stay. Me? If I feel like I’m to the point where I’m constantly complaining about that person, I’m leaving. Obviously it isn’t working out for either of us. Fix it, or leave. Complaining gets you no where.

You constantly belittle the person your with? Let them go and find someone better than you.

I’ve also (more recently from experience) find that someone will attack you to cover up their own mistakes. I brought up to a guy that I was upset about something he said. He dismissed it, so I let it go. Almost the exact same thing happened, so I was more persistent. He tried to dismiss it and when that didn’t work, he turned around and attacked me. He started calling me a liar, and bullshitter because I went to my best friend’s birthday party and there were guys there. Mind you, not my friends, her’s. One of them is her ex I hate, then his friend that’s engaged, another that will hit on anything that breathes, and another one was 19. Yup lovely bunch of men. Not to mention the fact that I had no idea who was going to be there because it was not my party.

The argument went on for two days, and became about what he was upset about instead of the original problem. Then I told him I was done. At first he tried to be sweet and tell me he just wanted me, when I didn’t go for it, he went with another tactic. He started telling me I just wanted to get rid of him and this and that. At first when he did that I argued. Then after a couple times of this I finally said no, I’m done. I deleted him and blocked him from everything so he couldn’t contact me or find out what I was doing.

My policy is, the first time, I’ll let it go. Second time, needs to be fixed or I’m leaving.

I don’t belittle and I don’t complain to others.

Went off on a bit of a tangent there. The abuse of men is something that needs to seriously be looked at.