So I’m going to touch on a few things that have been brought to my attention from my more-feminist-than-me friend.
We worked together at Wal-Mart. Everyone called her my work girlfriend. We were pretty close, but sometimes she can be a bit of an acquired taste.
I say she is more feminist than me for a couple of reasons. Feminist issues are about half if not more of the stuff she posts on Facebook, where in with me most of my stuff is Supernatural, Lord of the Rings/Hobbit, Batman or Ironman related. I do sometime go on what I life to call feminist-issue-posting sprees. Usually happens when I’m going through Upworthy.
Let’s start this thing!
First, she started with her profile picture being her topless and only covering her chest with her arm (something I can’t do without flashing all the little children, my arm simply isn’t big enough). It wasn’t her trying to be sexy or just get male attention. It was a statement on equality. It’s a part of the whole topless women movement. Women feel they should have the same right as men in their choice of clothing, i.e. they can go out topless in public without being hit with public indecency charges.
Personally, I don’t subscribe to this. Let me explain first that I have no issue with women wanting to go around topless. I just won’t be joining in on that. My problem with this form of wanting equality is it really is based in a belief that men and women are the same.
Yes we deserve equal right but we are not the same and it goes down into your DNA. Now, with everything there are exceptions to the rule and that would be anyone who falls under the genderqueer umbrella. If you asked someone who was born male but identifies as a woman, or vice versa would tell you there is a definite difference between the genders or they wouldn’t need to differentiate that they are not the gender they were born as. Genderfluid people are different, but not everyone is genderfluid.
There is one area where I have a bit of mixed feelings about this particular issue, and that is breast-feeding. I believe women shouldn’t be shamed for breast-feeding in public. This is an incredibly natural thing, yet people act like it’s disgusting. The baby needs to be fed, and that is the most healthy and nutritional (assuming the mother is taking care with what she puts in her body) way for that baby to be fed.
Again, if women want to go around topless, that’s their choice. I won’t participate and here is why. For me, my body is special. Only certain people get to see it. That is my personal choice. Now, I don’t exactly dress all that modestly (though compared to some women I might as well be Amish, but it’s their body, their choice on how much they want to show). I do show a little cleavage, and on the rare occasion, a little leg. That is what I am comfortable with. My feeling is if everyone gets to see it, there is no meaning behind it. It’s an intimate thing. When I choose to share my body with someone, it means they have something that others don’t, whatever it is that caused that connection between us. However, if I have children, I would want to be able to breast feed my child whenever it is needed. Yes, breast-feeding is an intimate thing too. Not in the sexual way (the over sexualization of the female body is what causes breast-feeding to become something that is almost taboo) but in the way that is closeness, a bonding between a mother and her child. Something very special. The fact of the matter is, when a woman becomes a mother, her body isn’t the same. That is not a bad thing. The need women feel to fit in the societal view of women as sexual creatures causes some women to resent their children for “ruining their body”. No hun, your body is not ruined, just changed. You have changed into a mother, and personally, I think that makes you more beautiful. If your man thinks your body is ruined, he isn’t a man but a child that still needs to grow up. He doesn’t deserve a beautiful woman such as yourself.
The difference between being just topless as a woman and breastfeeding in public? Context. I’ll say it one more time, I have no problem with women wanting to be topless in public, but the true difference between that and breastfeeding is one is just for being comfortable or considered equal and the other is taking care of another human being. A human being that depends on you completely.
It’s kind of a complicated subject for me. Fact is, if you are a woman and want to be able to be topless in public, I’m ok with that (last time I’ll say it I promise). I personally though, will only fight for the right to breastfeed when it is needed without needing to hide it.
This ended up being a little longer than I originally intended, so I will be breaking these up into several posts.