Stepping Away from Feminists

I have a feeling this will be one of my least popular posts yet. I feel it now.

Here goes.

It all started when I came across a post about “Sexual Racism”. It is basically the premise that if you aren’t sexually attracted to people of a certain race it isn’t personal preference, it’s you being racist. Yea. Smell the bullshit coming off that.

I have identified as feminist since I was pretty young. It was more I got called a feminist (not in a bad way) and I was just kinda like “yea, that’s right!”.

I am by no means a Social Justice Warrior. I’m not politically correct a lot of the time. Don’t get me wrong (usually) I don’t purposely hurt anyone’s feelings but some of this shit is getting ridiculous.

At first I was thinking it was the 3rd wave feminism that was giving me the urge to leave. But the more research I do, the more I realize that it really isn’t them as a whole. Mostly because the title third wave feminism gets used incorrectly. Basically treating it like something brand new when in reality third wave feminism started in the early to mid 90’s.

Here is a short break down of the waves.

First wave:

The first wave of feminism took place in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, emerging out of an environment of urban industrialism and liberal, socialist politics. The goal of this wave was to open up opportunities for women, with a focus on suffrage.

Second:

The second wave began in the 1960s and continued into the 90s. This wave unfolded in the context of the anti-war and civil rights movements and the growing self-consciousness of a variety of minority groups around the world. The New Left was on the rise, and the voice of the second wave was increasingly radical. In this phase, sexuality and reproductive rights were dominant issues, and much of the movement’s energy was focused on passing the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution guaranteeing social equality regardless of sex.

You can thank the second wave for Sex and gender differentiation—the former being biological, and the later a social construct that varies culture-to-culture and over time.

Third:

The third wave of feminism began in the mid-90’s and was informed by post-colonial and post-modern thinking. In this phase many constructs were destabilized, including the notions of “universal womanhood,” body, gender, sexuality and heteronormativity. An aspect of third wave feminism that mystified the mothers of the earlier feminist movement was the readoption by young feminists of the very lip-stick, high-heels, and cleavage proudly exposed by low cut necklines that the first two phases of the movement identified with male oppression. Pinkfloor expressed this new position when she said that it’s possible to have a push-up bra and a brain at the same time. The “grrls” of the third wave stepped onto the stage as strong and empowered, eschewing victimization and defining feminine beauty for themselves as subjects, not as objects of a sexist patriarchy. They developed a rhetoric of mimicry, which appropriated derogatory terms like “slut” and “bitch” in order to subvert sexist culture and deprive it of verbal weapons. The web is an important tool of “girlie feminism.”

Got this information here. Looking around this seems to be accurate.

Basically what it boils down to is each wave was for issues of that time being handled in a way realistic for that time. The second wave wasn’t fighting for women’s right to vote because it was already done, so they moved on to issues like getting fair work, being in charge of their own bodies, etc. The third wave is really no different, just moving on to the next problem.

What I believe really is the problem is the trend I’m seeing in (unfortunately) my generation and the next.

Some how we have cultivated new generations of whiney babies that think because someone has said something that upsets them that they have the right to tell them to not say that thing (ie. “triggered). That instead of having conversations and discussions with apposing views they just go on the attack because how do someone disagree with them and that person is a terrible person for thinking incorrectly.

I was looking at an article about Halloween costumes and cultural appropriation on a feminist page (this is not a feminist issue by the way). Some of it I agree to like Native American costumes (because they are very stereotypical not “cultural appropriation”) but others like women wearing saris. Actually the sari part is the one I commented about specifically. I go to Ren Faire every year I can and every time there is an Indian couple (as in they themselves migrated from India to here) that sell saris and lots of belly dancing gear. This last year I went he was very active in trying to sell me (a very white girl) one that I had shown some interest in. Also commenting that I don’t take well to people trying to tell me what I can and cannot wear.

The comments I got were wow. Some were in agreement. Others called that couple sell outs and that in every culture there are sell outs, one told me my name was an insult to dogs (referring to Silverwolf) and other insulting comments. All, by the way, were from women just as white as me. The insults didn’t hurt my feelings, I have much thicker skin than that. It has officially put me off to the community in whole because this wasn’t the first time that not only did people resort to insults because I had a disagreeing opinion but because not a single one actually wanted to have a discussion about it. Just wanted to insult me to try to shut me up.

This Social Justice Warrior trend is what I’m speaking of. They are intent on sacrificing free speech in the name of political correctness.

Perfect example.

Here is a great article on the whole thing that highly suggest, though it is more focused at colleges.

They want their way. Their way of thinking is the only right way, and you are dehumanized to nothing but some form of privilege if you disagree.

It seems the way to bring yourself or a certain group up, they want to bring others down.

On the specific subject of feminism, there is a lot of attacks on men.

As a whole, I love men. Now there are specific men I don’t like, and some I even hate but it that is because of their own actions. Not because they are men.

I don’t agree with everything in this article, but it is still good.

I’m fed up with it, and I’m done.

This is really the only thing I’m going to post on this.

I am not changing. The same problems are still important to me (lgbt, public breastfeeding, etc), but I will not longer be using the term feminist. I have no interest in being a part of the community any longer because I don’t want to be associated with these people.

I wasn’t planning on this post being so ranty but oh well.

Bring on the pitchforks and torches.

My little brother likes to say my catch phrase is “I do what I want”, so….

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Fuckery that really needs attention

So Lucius Svartwulf Helson and Halstead have had their own war going on between the two. I’ve enjoyed the posts by Lucius but like I said before I usually try to stay out of the drama (as much as I actually like Lucius).

But in a comment on this post, Halstead has changed my decision to stay out of it.

In a comment he called Lucius’s Gods “sad little gods”. Keep in mind (if you didn’t figure out from this name) Lucius is a Heathen. I can tolerate attacking a person (to an extent) but start insulting my Gods, and it won’t go well for you.

Here is links to all the posts Lucius made:

If Your Paganism is Anthropocentric, I Don’t Want Your Paganism

Maybe I’m Not Here to Save Your World

Everyone Wants to Save The World Part 1

Everyone wants to save the World Part 2

Let’s Disenchant the World! Part 1

Let’s Disenchant the World! Part 2

Let’s Disenchant the World! Part 3

I Am A Special Snowflake….Apparently.

Everyone wants to save the world part 1

Everyone wants to save the world part 2

To Quote Nox: “I Warned You!” Part 1

To Quote Nox: “I Warned You!” Part 2

I am not by any means under any impression that I’m a “Big Name” but keep in mind this “Atheist Pagan”, I put it in quotes because it is on of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard, is insulting our Gods and I won’t stand by for it.

Please share this shit out of this. Share it and ask others to share. Spread it around as much as you can.

Normally I wouldn’t do something like this but he really brought it on himself.

To say I’m pissed is an understatement.

“Community”

So, if you haven’t noticed on the little side panel there, I follow a blogger by the name of Sebastian Lokason.

I watched this drama unfold. I make it a habit to stay out of drama, so I was originally going to keep my mouth shut. Then I was reading this post on another blog I follow, and thought “ya know what? fuck it. I got shit to say”. I will try to keep this as non rambly as possible.

I really can’t comment on what happened when those three were living together. I wasn’t there. What I can comment on is some of the other shit being said.

I don’t have a personal relationship with Seb. I read his blog, bought things from him, and got a past life reading done.

I enjoy his blog. Do I agree with everything? Absolutely not. Does that make either of us wrong? Absolutely not. Does he try to convince anyone that he is 100% right about everything? Absolutely not. Do I learn stuff from it? Absolutely. Do I get a crack out of some of his posts? Absolutely.

The whole thing about his UPG saying that his Big Self is Anar, “queen” of Vanaheim (I put queen in quotes because I remember him saying just about every time he mentions him he mentions that the queen thing is a rough translation and really doesn’t hold political power like we think of). Well I can’t comment much on that. I’m not that involved with Vanaheim outside of my work with Freya, Frey, and me poking about the Wolf Tribe a bit. But honestly, as I recall he doesn’t talk about Anar that much, and I never once got the feeling of “Worship Anar” or “Bow down before the mighty Anar!”. If it weren’t for Seb pointing out he had a perfume oil for Anar, I wouldn’t have noticed that he had anything for Anar.

I think that whole attack is to try to put Seb “in his place”. He had been getting a lot of attention in a good way, and we can’t have that. Some pagans get pissed when they see anything even resembling something that could possibly be a leader, especially if they are making some money in the process. Gods forbid some one make money off their talent!

Yea, he promotes his stuff on his blog. And? I like seeing the new shiny even though most of the stuff is something either not for me, or not something I can really be buying at that point in time. I never got the feeling of him trying to push his stuff on people. Who doesn’t like looking at pretty things?

And it is pretty fucking obvious that isn’t just about money for him. He lets people make payment plans. I know I’ve used that to be able to get some nice things before, and it helped a lot. Doesn’t sound like the actions of a greedy person to me. Yes he is making money off the stuff the services he offered and the things he makes (rightfully so), but he works with people so they can still get stuff. By the way, if you think his stuff is overpriced don’t fucking buy anything. Simple as that.

I do think the fact that he is trans has something to do with not wanting him to rise. Not just trans, but trans and gay. Not sure what happened to the whole “Pagans are so much more accepting” thing. And had sexual relationships with male spirits. How dare he! Hel, a big part of the “community” doesn’t want people talking about having any kind of personal relationships with our deities, especially not of a sexual nature.

Want to know what the biggest thing I learned from Sebastian Lokason was? Don’t be ashamed of your UPG, because it is yours and fuck what anyone else thinks.

One of the titles that frustrates me the most is “Special Snowflake”. Fuck that shit.

He isn’t saying he is the leader of Vanaheim, from what I understand he is just a big part of ritual that helps the land. Does that make him special? Kinda, to the residents in Vanaheim. Is it egotistical? Not really. Hel, this is the first time most of us are hearing about Anar being his Big Self, so it isn’t like he has been bragging about it. So yea, no.

I know some that their UPG says they are sacred queens (has nothing to do with being any kind of queen of Midgard so shut up), were deified by one of Them, Hel my own is that Freya is wanting me to become one of her Valkyries after this life. People see that as being egotistical, and wanting to be a “Special Snowflake”, except I haven’t seen a single one of these people ask for special treatment. Not once. I mean, people think it egotistical for a mere human to believe they are married to a God, or really have any kind of personal relationship with Them other than as a worshipper.

This shit needs to stop.

I keeping putting Community in quotations because we really don’t act like one. We constantly tear each other down and fight. That isn’t how a “community” acts. We are already getting attacked by just about all sides. We make progress, and then we tear it down ourselves.

Frankly, I really frustrated (if you couldn’t already tell) and sad. I enjoy Seb’s blog and because of those people, we won’t be able to anymore or at least for awhile. And that is really a loss for all of us.

I hope those people are happy with bring us another few steps back.

Let’s talk about boobs

Probably not in the way that you are wanting though.

Celebrating Frigga today (actually this was originally typed up on Friday but I couldn’t finish it, so pretend I posted it yesterday), so I decided to talk about a mommy issue (since she is the All Mother after all!)

So today we shall talk about what those boobs are actually supposed to be for, feeding babies!

Breastfeeding is becoming a sort of trend now. The sign of the new age mother that is more “natural”. As trends go, this is definitely a good one. At this point most people know the health benefits of breastfeeding as apposed to formula for both the mother and baby. So why is there so much controversy surrounding it. Let’s discuss!

2000px-Breastfeeding-icon-med_svg - Copy

I came across this particular sign posted on the doors of a local Michaels, and also saw one on Target’s doors. It is a sign signifying that the establishment supports breastfeeding, even in public.

Here’s the thing. That really shouldn’t be necessary.

Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things a woman can do. That is how babies have been fed since the beginning of time. Saying you support breastfeeding is like saying you support feeding babies. Kind of redundant isn’t it? So if you replace “breastfeeding” with “feeding a baby” in the argument about breastfeeding in public it becomes an argument about feeding a baby in public.

First, lets take a little look at the law.

According to NCSL (National Conference of State Legislatures) 49 states, the District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location (meaning privately owned businesses). So all of them but one, Idaho.

29 states, District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws.

That’s where it doesn’t make much sense to me. So in the other 20 states that don’t have that exemption, you can breastfeed in public but get in trouble for public indecency?

Now lets get to the arguments against breastfeeding in public.

I came across this little nugget here. These are where I will start here and add some more.

The first one is that breastfeeding in public is indecent.

Yea, no.

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Most of the time that is about all you will see. I’ve seen women walk around in shirts that show way more than that but are still not considered “indecent”.

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Hel, this shows more boob and was on national television.

Here’s the thing, breasts are not indecent, despite what modern society wants to tell you. The argument is that they are “sexual organs” so they should be covered. Umm, no they aren’t. Let’s take a look at the anatomy of a breast. Anatomy-of-Breast11 - Copy

And here shows for more breastfeeding specific (and layman’s terms):

breastfeeding_anatomy

Nothing sexual about that, has nothing to do with actually creating life, they are mostly sacks of fat on our chest (that is when they aren’t actually in use). The only reason they get involved in sexual play is because of those lovely nerve endings (and boy are those nerve endings fun). The attraction to women with a larger chest is a natural thing. Bigger the breast our animalistic selves think better to feed baby with, also triggers the more fertile thought process as well, now that doesn’t mean our smaller chested friends can’t breastfeed or breastfeed as well or aren’t as fertile (like I said animalistic thinking so not based in fact). The sexualization however is a newer construct of modern society. Ever wonder why in those pictures of third world countries in Africa the women are topless?

The second reason given here really pissed me off. The public breastfeeding is dangerous.

Really? This goes based off the messed up ideology that if a man sees a boob he will completely lose his control (and sanity) and attack. Okay, that may be over dramatizing it a bit but seriously I am sick of people excusing deplorable actions by lowering men to the level of sex crazed animals. Last time I checked decent human beings have control over their sexual urges, especially in the completely nonsexual context that breastfeeding is in. And I love the “asking” for harassment. Umm no, she is feeding her child. The victim blaming is strong here. But to me this seems to be a ridiculous argument. I have not once heard of a woman getting sexually harassed or assaulted because a guy saw her breastfeeding.

The awkward social interactions thing is so dumb. Once it becomes more publically acceptable (meaning women don’t have to even worry about having this dumb debate in the first place) it will be as normal as a woman bottle feeding. It’s only awkward if you make it. I don’t understand the ‘children may ask seemingly inappropriate questions about what the mother is doing” part. The woman breastfeeding is a mother and will already understand why children ask the questions they do. And finally the “the baby may make loud sucking noises that can make others uncomfortable” part. Are you a child? You can’t handle a sucking sound? Newsflash, that is how they get their nutrition, sucking, whether on a bottle or on Mommy’s nature given bottle.

Lastly, the argument that “the act of breastfeeding is physically and emotionally intimate and, therefore, should not be done in public”. Again, just stupid. So no one should kiss, hold hands, stare into each other’s eyes, hug or anything else that could be deemed “physically and emotionally intimate” in public.

My all time favorite argument (by men) is that it’s illegal for men to whip their dick out in public so it should be for a woman to breastfeed because she is “whipping out her boob”. There is just so much umm no in that argument. First, huge difference between a penis and a boob. A penis is a sexual organ, and once again, breasts are not. You don’t feed a baby with your dick (at least I pray to the Gods you don’t, if you do please kindly turn yourself in or just off yourself). As for the whipping out the boob part, refer to the above picture. Women who breastfeed have the sense to wear clothes where her breast is very readily accessible to the baby (because you try to hold a not happy hungry baby and try to work complicated clothing), and will hold the baby in place before moving any kind of clothing out of the way. So the chances of you actually seeing breast is very minimal and only if you are really watching for it.

Trying to tell a woman that she shouldn’t breastfeed in public really is telling a woman if she wants to breastfeed she has to stay home all the time, and that really isn’t right and completely unrealistic. She can’t wait until she gets home to feed her baby, because that baby will be hungry when he or she gets hungry, they don’t stick to their mom’s

Breasts are used in advertisements all the time, so the fact that people are so disturbed when a woman actually uses them for what they were intended for is just ridiculous.

bf-cover-2

Here is a link to some tips for mother’s that aren’t that confident in breastfeeding in public but want to be.

Here is a link for some responses to people directly arguing with it ( that is I you want to be nicer than what I would be).

When it comes down to it  the law is on your side on this, unless you live in Idaho.

A little disclaimer here: I have nothing against women who choose to not breastfeed. That is your body. As a matter of fact, I do have a problem with people shaming a woman for making that choice.

Until next time my loves!

On the Verge

I’m on the verge of losing my mind.

Warning: This is going to be a rant about my personal life, will most likely involve adult words. Skip if you wish.

 So my sister’s birthday is coming up. Referring to my older sister that is pregnant. She had posted on Facebook something about thanking people ( I was tagged in this) for the baby shower stuff. Mind you the baby shower isn’t until November. So I commented asking her what she was wanting to do for her birthday.

Her answer was wanting my mom, her and I to all get a pedicure together, go out to eat as a family and have game night.

Keep in mind, I currently have $400 ER bill from last Wednesday, and I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Whatever they are going to need to do is going to cost money. I am effectively broke for the first time in a long time. I can’t fucking afford pedicures. Not even for just myself. So I told her this. Her reaction? “Don’t worry about it then.”

Are you fucking kidding me.

The one time I’m broke and she wants the fucking moon and pouts when I tell her I can’t afford it.

This is my sister. This is the way she has always been. She wants the world to revolve around her and if someone goes against it she throws a fit. Now that she is pregnant it is a hundred times worse. She may pull that shit with everyone else, but with me, that shit doesn’t fly. I told my mom this morning if she wants to act like that I won’t be involved in her birthday at all. I don’t have the energy to deal with this shit right now.

My sister is one of those people everyone tends to like (she’s a Libra if that helps at all), that is until they see how she treats people (especially me).

To give an example of another incident.

For my best friend’s birthday I asked my sister if she could take us to down town St. Charles. At the time I didn’t how to get there and I wanted my BF to see the metaphysical shop and the Celtic store they have there. I told her I’d help with gas and buy us dinner. The deal was just her, me and my BF. This was when her fiancé was a truck driver and gone most of the time. Well, it turned out that he was coming home early. I told my sister he could go but I could not afford to pay for his dinner too. She agreed to this. So we all go on the trip, everything goes fine until we leave and head out to eat. This was my best friend’s birthday. I wanted to go to a semi nice place. The second we leave my sister starts begging me to pay for him to eat too, even after I told her specifically I couldn’t. Kept saying “well if we go to a cheaper place you can”. That was when my BF decided she didn’t like my sister anymore.

That is just an example of a multitude of incidents where she has tried to get me to pay for something or for her, even if I tell her I can’t afford it, and then try to make me feel guilty about it. Or wanted me to take her somewhere or go somewhere when I couldn’t of frankly didn’t want to. She throws a fit and doesn’t talk to me for awhile. She waits to see if I’ll beg her for forgiveness (most of her friends do) and once she realizes I won’t, she comes back and acts like nothing happened.

Our own mother has even noticed this pattern and gets concerned if we spend too much time together.

Since her being pregnant I have put up with a lot more of her bullshit than I normally would but that is stopping right now.

I’m trying, I really am. Family is a big deal to me, especially now that I have a niece on the way. But I will not sacrifice my sanity for the sake of family.

That is all.

I don’t need your false concern

So it was brought to my attention that there was a little bit of a video battle going on between this chick on YouTube and the star of My Big Fat Fabulous Life.

Basically the YouTuber (and I can’t recall her name, and don’t really care enough to look it up) posted a video directed at fat people. Basically an attack on people who are overweight and saying “fat shaming doesn’t exist”.

Fat shaming falls under the unpleasant umbrella that is body shaming, something that is typically aimed at those that identify as women (though men do get it too). It isn’t just fat shaming that happens (insulting/attacking larger people because of their size) but there is also skinny shaming.

I’m going to start this with the statement I firmly believe in, especially when it comes to someone else’s body:

MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS

But here goes.

The YouTuber put a disclaimer toward the beginning of her video that is wasn’t aimed at people who are big because of a medical condition. The star of (I’m going to abbreviate here) MBFFL replied to this with the truth. You can’t tell by just looking at someone if they have a medical condition or not. People don’t walk around with doctor notes taped to their chest to excuse their size.

The next little disclaimer she puts in is that it isn’t directed toward people who just have “a little cushion for the pushin’ “. I’m so glad you don’t mind that I’m chubby.

Then this is where my point comes in. She goes on to insult larger people (referring to Crisco coming out of their pores like play-doh), but turns around and says the reasons for the insulting is  because she is “selfish” and wants them to be around. Saying fat shaming is a good thing because it will push people to lose weight.

First of all, no. Insulting someone about their weight isn’t going to help them lose weight. If that was the case everyone would be skinny. I can almost guarantee anyone of a larger size has been picked on, bullied, or have been down right fucking rude to them because of their size. Especially if they are any where on the internet. Not only does it not push them to lose weight, a lot of the time they will gain more. The stress of dealing with that kind of ridicule not only puts stress on the body, causing more of those nasty fat storing hormones, but some of these people are also stress eaters.

Second of all, no. “Concern” for someone’s health is constantly used as an excuse to ridicule them for their size. Saying things like a big girl being body positive is “glorifying” obesity, “glorifying” an unhealthy lifestyle. No, it’s glorifying their own damn body and they are entitled to do so. There is also that thing again, you can’t tell someone’s health status by looking at them. You can’t tell their habits just by looking at them.

Let me give you an example. I will compare myself to my younger brother.

I am 22 years old. I’m not sure about my actual weight (I avoid the scale because I’ve actually got quite a bit of muscle), possibly close to 200 lbs., and I am 5’5. I wear size 12 ( 14 sometimes depending on the brand) pants and a large to extra large shirt, with size 14 dress size. I exercise on a semi regular basis (shit comes up sometimes), I try to not eat overly fatty foods and 99% of the time I avoid junk food, I also watch my portion sizes. I have slightly high blood pressure and breathing problems, but I’m a smoker with mild asthma (yea don’t start in on the don’t smoke shit, I know). I’m a chubby girl, and I’m not ashamed of that. If you look at my father’s side I am actually the tallest and the skinniest. My mom’s side is very mixed in that area.

Now my younger brother. He is 16. I don’t know his weight or height or sizes. He is probably around 6 foot if not taller, and when he takes off his shirt you can literally see his ribs. He eats fatty crap and junk food constantly. He is a typical teenage boy. He really gets it from his dad (we have different dads).

Now if you took us side by side, with clothes on, everyone would assume (makes an ass out of u and me) that he is healthier than me. With, lets say, only swim suits on, people would think we were both unhealthy. His doctor says he is perfectly healthy, and I already mentioned my problems (which actually have little to do with my weight).

See what I’m saying. I get fat shamed, he gets skinny shamed. You really can’t win unless you perfectly fit what society labels as acceptable.

So therefore, your “concern” is bullshit.

Unless you are that persons doctor, shut your mouth about someone’s size.

Most people who fain this “concern” are people who want to seem like they care when in reality it makes them feel superior. If you have a problem with someone’s size and you have to say something, at least be honest about how much of an asshole you really are.

I’ll say it one more time:

 JUST MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.

That is all.

Until next time my loves.

(I may end up adding a full body picture of myself later, but I don’t have one at the moment)

Family isn’t always right

This has a slight connection to this post (only slight).

So in the Heathen/Asatru faith, it is very family centric traditionally. It makes a lot of sense if you look in the context of the times of our ancestors. You family was the most important thing. Period. Family, and sometimes your land/crops and livestock was really all you had. You needed children to pass down your possessions and your name down to, more specifically to sons. The daughter was mostly a tool, a way usually to bring some sort of wealth to the family, or to tie families together. Not pretty, but thems the ropes. Now the Norse were a bit more progressive in the way that women could inherit land and could get a divorce from an abusive or even cheating husband. But family was top priority. That need to reproduce and continue your line. The land, crops and livestock? Well that was to sustain your family and yourself. Family was top.

Now jump forward to modern followers of the Northern Path.

We are attempting to place that same though process to modern families. Doesn’t exactly work.

For those of us that are younger and don’t have a family of our own? Most of our families are Christian, or at least don’t follow the same path and will definitely not understand it. To the point where we can’t even talk to our family about our beliefs, experiences, or practices. And when we do, the reactions tend not to be ideal. In my own situation my parents don’t know my actual path but believe that I’m pagan, and they have been on a crusade ever since they kind of figured this out.

For those of us with families? Because our numbers are still small compared to the larger population or even just of the population of what I’ll just call non-pagans. A lot of us marry someone who doesn’t share our beliefs, and doesn’t want us to “push” them on the children. So that doesn’t work out for the best either.

We live in very self absorbed, selfish times. Most people don’t know their neighbors and don’t care to. We care about ourselves and how we can get further in life. I’m not saying parents don’t take care of their kids. Of course (lets be honest, most) they do, but it isn’t the same. I know in my family, the kids sit in the living room watching TV while the parents are in their bedroom watching TV. There is no family time, except on the rare occasion that we have dinner together.

There is also the people who don’t want kids. Which I find perfectly acceptable. We are over populated.

Some of us have to deal with a family that treats us like shit. Why? It all boils down to being self absorbed.

Family isn’t what it used to be, and frankly it’s really sad.

I can’t get my family to change, but when I have kids of my own I plan on ending the cycle with them. Why shall I begin. My niece that is on the way. I won’t instill my religious beliefs in her, but hopefully I can instill my views on what family should be in her.

You have to start some where, and sometimes there is no hope for some people.

You don’t have to deal with bullshit  from someone because you share blood.

You have ever right to cut toxic people out of your life. Family or not, anyone can be toxic.

Don’t feel that you owe them anything, because you don’t.

And that really applies to everyone, not just those that are Heathen/North pagans or what have you.

Just remember, they decided to treat you that way. So the consequences are fully on them.

I bitch about my sister, but she isn’t all bad all the time. She doesn’t really treat me like shit either. She uses me sometimes but that is on me for letting her do so for so long. I have put my foot down now though.

Man, I’m really bad about bouncing around.

Any who

Until next time loves.

If you’re going to do it, do it

If you can’t tell by the title, this one is going to be a rant so feel free to ignore this.

What inspired this? My older sister.

My sister can’t ever make up her mind what she is doing and what she believes and it is frustrating to all fucking Helheim.

 She comes to me sometimes with questions. Questions about pagan religions in general as well as my own. These questions I really don’t mind and answer honestly as long as I know the answer. That stuff doesn’t bother me.

Little turn now, but I promise it is related.

She is pregnant with her first child. She is going to have a girl. Her name is something my sister got from me. It was the name of a character I was writing a story around (though said character was a dominant lesbian, but she doesn’t know that. that character was pretty awesome). She doesn’t really like admitting she got that name from me, which pisses me off. She saw the name of the character and even told me she liked it and will use it! But I digress.

This child is going to be the first of the grandchildren and actually the first of the great grandchildren now that I think about it. She is going to be spoiled, and I am most certainly not helping.

Now here is how that is related.

My sister has been asking me about getting my future niece Viking/Norse stuff. This is the same sister that is constantly on Facebook talking about “please pray for me” for blah blah blah reason. The same sister that told my younger brother (Kemetic) that his religion has caused a lot of pain. Really?

You really don’t get to pick and choose your shit.

My younger brother, when he first started getting into Wicca (he is Kemetic now, I swear Wicca is the pagan gateway religion) he talked about doing Christian Wicca.

Yea, no.

Here is the deal. Getting involved with Gods from different religions, I totally understand (I don’t personally do it but it’s more of a I haven’t connected to any other pantheons thing). That said the beliefs in Christianity are very strictly against worshiping any other Gods. Period. No if ands or buts about it. You can’t mix Christianity with any other religions. Like being a Christian witch. Yea, Christianity is also very strictly against witchcraft as well, so no on that too.

Here is where my point lies. You really can’t jump back and forth at your convenience. You really have to choose one or the other, or your really not doing either.

This really applies to just about everything worth doing. You either do it or don’t. Or you end up being a flaky little shit who is not doing anyone any good, including yourself.

Commit yourself.

Be passionate about it.

Just do it.

That is really the only way you will be able to get anywhere with it. The only way you can grow in your beliefs, or grow as a person.

Jumping back and forth will really just put you in a stalemate where you will never progress.

This ended up being kind of all over the place and rambly.

In other news I will attempt to do my post about Frey today. Depends if it gets too busy or not.

Either way, until next time my loves!

Men Can be Abused too

A post I was reading by Lucius, inspired this.

I could tell you how long ago it was, or why but  I had watched this video a long time ago. It was really a video about the double standards in society in regards to domestic abuse, one of those social experiment deals. At first, it showed a couple, the man was yelling and being rough with a woman in a public street was people around watching. Someone called the cops, and a few people started to approach him. Second part of the video. Same couple, different area. This time the woman was yelling and was not just getting rough but had him pinned against a gate for some building and was hitting him. No one said anything, no one did anything, and some people were actually laughing.

I was really sad watching it.

We talk a lot about women dealing with domestic abuse, which we should. That said, we shouldn’t forget about the men. Domestic abuse isn’t always violent. In a lot of cases with women being the abuser, it is emotional/mental, though obviously not always.

It’s part of that societal view that men are supposed to be stronger than women. If a man isn’t, he isn’t really a man and should be abused or chastised. So when a woman is abusing a man, it’s thought of as funny because he is seen as weaker than her.

Just to get this straight. Men don’t have to be stronger than women, and women are not always weak.

This whole thought process makes it so some men believe they actually deserve the abuse. They can’t go to anyone because they would be seen as weak, pathetic, or society’s favorite word, pussy.  Therefore he is lesser and does not deserve respect or help. They don’t feel like they can go to police if it is physical, because “would they really believe me?”.

Complete and utter crap, and not how fellow human beings should be treated.

Personally, I’ve never understood some of these people in relationships. They constantly complain about the person they are with but stay. Me? If I feel like I’m to the point where I’m constantly complaining about that person, I’m leaving. Obviously it isn’t working out for either of us. Fix it, or leave. Complaining gets you no where.

You constantly belittle the person your with? Let them go and find someone better than you.

I’ve also (more recently from experience) find that someone will attack you to cover up their own mistakes. I brought up to a guy that I was upset about something he said. He dismissed it, so I let it go. Almost the exact same thing happened, so I was more persistent. He tried to dismiss it and when that didn’t work, he turned around and attacked me. He started calling me a liar, and bullshitter because I went to my best friend’s birthday party and there were guys there. Mind you, not my friends, her’s. One of them is her ex I hate, then his friend that’s engaged, another that will hit on anything that breathes, and another one was 19. Yup lovely bunch of men. Not to mention the fact that I had no idea who was going to be there because it was not my party.

The argument went on for two days, and became about what he was upset about instead of the original problem. Then I told him I was done. At first he tried to be sweet and tell me he just wanted me, when I didn’t go for it, he went with another tactic. He started telling me I just wanted to get rid of him and this and that. At first when he did that I argued. Then after a couple times of this I finally said no, I’m done. I deleted him and blocked him from everything so he couldn’t contact me or find out what I was doing.

My policy is, the first time, I’ll let it go. Second time, needs to be fixed or I’m leaving.

I don’t belittle and I don’t complain to others.

Went off on a bit of a tangent there. The abuse of men is something that needs to seriously be looked at.

Trigger Words

I feel a bit like an old fart sometimes. Outside of this (if it counts) the only form of social media I’m really involved in is Facebook. I have a Twitter account but I don’t do anything with it anymore. So obviously I’m not on Tumblr. I have a couple of pages I follow that take funny screen shots of stuff from Tumblr, so I get highlights. From what I’ve heard, generally tends to be a lot of drama.

Well, one of those pages, had a shot of someone on Tumblr making fun of people on Tumblr who have issues with “trigger words”. Specifically talking about extreme cases. This was all new information to me. And it really brought up a train of thought for me.

Basically a trigger word is a word that reminds a person of something bad that happened in their life, giving them flash backs. Some people take it to a bit of an extreme, for some it is completely understandable.

Here is where I have a problem.

I understand something can end up reminding you of a not exactly pleasant experience in your life. That does not mean you can dictate what other people say/post. If you want to unfollow them or ignore them because of that particular trigger, well that is completely your right to do so and is certainly the better option. That instead of “what you said makes me think of this, so you need to stop saying that”.

It seems now who ever is more offended is right.

No.

That’s really what the whole freedom of religion act argument has turned in to.

“Your sexual orientation offends me because of my religion, so I have the right to not be involved in your ceremony.”

“Well you being offended by my sexual orientation offends me.”

“You being offended by me being offended because of my religion offends me.”

Ugh. It goes on and on and on.

Side note about that pizza place that was just about shut down because of what they said on the news: Who is really going to have a pizza place cater for their wedding?

You have the right to be offended, you do not have the right to dictate what other’s say or do because you are offended. Things get a bit more complicated when religion gets involved, but I digress.

Freedom of speech is not conditional. It’s not “you have the right to say what you want unless it offends me”. If that were the case no one would be able to talk, because just about anything anyone says can offend someone somewhere.

Kind of goes along the lines of the misandrists that parade around as feminists, giving actual feminists a bad name. The (man hating) crap they spew upsets me, but they have the right say what they do. In turn, I have the right to feel that the stuff they say is a bunch of crap. Doesn’t mean I can sit there and tell them they can’t say it.

Just my thoughts on the matter.