Stepping Away from Feminists

I have a feeling this will be one of my least popular posts yet. I feel it now.

Here goes.

It all started when I came across a post about “Sexual Racism”. It is basically the premise that if you aren’t sexually attracted to people of a certain race it isn’t personal preference, it’s you being racist. Yea. Smell the bullshit coming off that.

I have identified as feminist since I was pretty young. It was more I got called a feminist (not in a bad way) and I was just kinda like “yea, that’s right!”.

I am by no means a Social Justice Warrior. I’m not politically correct a lot of the time. Don’t get me wrong (usually) I don’t purposely hurt anyone’s feelings but some of this shit is getting ridiculous.

At first I was thinking it was the 3rd wave feminism that was giving me the urge to leave. But the more research I do, the more I realize that it really isn’t them as a whole. Mostly because the title third wave feminism gets used incorrectly. Basically treating it like something brand new when in reality third wave feminism started in the early to mid 90’s.

Here is a short break down of the waves.

First wave:

The first wave of feminism took place in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, emerging out of an environment of urban industrialism and liberal, socialist politics. The goal of this wave was to open up opportunities for women, with a focus on suffrage.

Second:

The second wave began in the 1960s and continued into the 90s. This wave unfolded in the context of the anti-war and civil rights movements and the growing self-consciousness of a variety of minority groups around the world. The New Left was on the rise, and the voice of the second wave was increasingly radical. In this phase, sexuality and reproductive rights were dominant issues, and much of the movement’s energy was focused on passing the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution guaranteeing social equality regardless of sex.

You can thank the second wave for Sex and gender differentiation—the former being biological, and the later a social construct that varies culture-to-culture and over time.

Third:

The third wave of feminism began in the mid-90’s and was informed by post-colonial and post-modern thinking. In this phase many constructs were destabilized, including the notions of “universal womanhood,” body, gender, sexuality and heteronormativity. An aspect of third wave feminism that mystified the mothers of the earlier feminist movement was the readoption by young feminists of the very lip-stick, high-heels, and cleavage proudly exposed by low cut necklines that the first two phases of the movement identified with male oppression. Pinkfloor expressed this new position when she said that it’s possible to have a push-up bra and a brain at the same time. The “grrls” of the third wave stepped onto the stage as strong and empowered, eschewing victimization and defining feminine beauty for themselves as subjects, not as objects of a sexist patriarchy. They developed a rhetoric of mimicry, which appropriated derogatory terms like “slut” and “bitch” in order to subvert sexist culture and deprive it of verbal weapons. The web is an important tool of “girlie feminism.”

Got this information here. Looking around this seems to be accurate.

Basically what it boils down to is each wave was for issues of that time being handled in a way realistic for that time. The second wave wasn’t fighting for women’s right to vote because it was already done, so they moved on to issues like getting fair work, being in charge of their own bodies, etc. The third wave is really no different, just moving on to the next problem.

What I believe really is the problem is the trend I’m seeing in (unfortunately) my generation and the next.

Some how we have cultivated new generations of whiney babies that think because someone has said something that upsets them that they have the right to tell them to not say that thing (ie. “triggered). That instead of having conversations and discussions with apposing views they just go on the attack because how do someone disagree with them and that person is a terrible person for thinking incorrectly.

I was looking at an article about Halloween costumes and cultural appropriation on a feminist page (this is not a feminist issue by the way). Some of it I agree to like Native American costumes (because they are very stereotypical not “cultural appropriation”) but others like women wearing saris. Actually the sari part is the one I commented about specifically. I go to Ren Faire every year I can and every time there is an Indian couple (as in they themselves migrated from India to here) that sell saris and lots of belly dancing gear. This last year I went he was very active in trying to sell me (a very white girl) one that I had shown some interest in. Also commenting that I don’t take well to people trying to tell me what I can and cannot wear.

The comments I got were wow. Some were in agreement. Others called that couple sell outs and that in every culture there are sell outs, one told me my name was an insult to dogs (referring to Silverwolf) and other insulting comments. All, by the way, were from women just as white as me. The insults didn’t hurt my feelings, I have much thicker skin than that. It has officially put me off to the community in whole because this wasn’t the first time that not only did people resort to insults because I had a disagreeing opinion but because not a single one actually wanted to have a discussion about it. Just wanted to insult me to try to shut me up.

This Social Justice Warrior trend is what I’m speaking of. They are intent on sacrificing free speech in the name of political correctness.

Perfect example.

Here is a great article on the whole thing that highly suggest, though it is more focused at colleges.

They want their way. Their way of thinking is the only right way, and you are dehumanized to nothing but some form of privilege if you disagree.

It seems the way to bring yourself or a certain group up, they want to bring others down.

On the specific subject of feminism, there is a lot of attacks on men.

As a whole, I love men. Now there are specific men I don’t like, and some I even hate but it that is because of their own actions. Not because they are men.

I don’t agree with everything in this article, but it is still good.

I’m fed up with it, and I’m done.

This is really the only thing I’m going to post on this.

I am not changing. The same problems are still important to me (lgbt, public breastfeeding, etc), but I will not longer be using the term feminist. I have no interest in being a part of the community any longer because I don’t want to be associated with these people.

I wasn’t planning on this post being so ranty but oh well.

Bring on the pitchforks and torches.

My little brother likes to say my catch phrase is “I do what I want”, so….

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Let’s talk about boobs

Probably not in the way that you are wanting though.

Celebrating Frigga today (actually this was originally typed up on Friday but I couldn’t finish it, so pretend I posted it yesterday), so I decided to talk about a mommy issue (since she is the All Mother after all!)

So today we shall talk about what those boobs are actually supposed to be for, feeding babies!

Breastfeeding is becoming a sort of trend now. The sign of the new age mother that is more “natural”. As trends go, this is definitely a good one. At this point most people know the health benefits of breastfeeding as apposed to formula for both the mother and baby. So why is there so much controversy surrounding it. Let’s discuss!

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I came across this particular sign posted on the doors of a local Michaels, and also saw one on Target’s doors. It is a sign signifying that the establishment supports breastfeeding, even in public.

Here’s the thing. That really shouldn’t be necessary.

Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things a woman can do. That is how babies have been fed since the beginning of time. Saying you support breastfeeding is like saying you support feeding babies. Kind of redundant isn’t it? So if you replace “breastfeeding” with “feeding a baby” in the argument about breastfeeding in public it becomes an argument about feeding a baby in public.

First, lets take a little look at the law.

According to NCSL (National Conference of State Legislatures) 49 states, the District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location (meaning privately owned businesses). So all of them but one, Idaho.

29 states, District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws.

That’s where it doesn’t make much sense to me. So in the other 20 states that don’t have that exemption, you can breastfeed in public but get in trouble for public indecency?

Now lets get to the arguments against breastfeeding in public.

I came across this little nugget here. These are where I will start here and add some more.

The first one is that breastfeeding in public is indecent.

Yea, no.

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Most of the time that is about all you will see. I’ve seen women walk around in shirts that show way more than that but are still not considered “indecent”.

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Hel, this shows more boob and was on national television.

Here’s the thing, breasts are not indecent, despite what modern society wants to tell you. The argument is that they are “sexual organs” so they should be covered. Umm, no they aren’t. Let’s take a look at the anatomy of a breast. Anatomy-of-Breast11 - Copy

And here shows for more breastfeeding specific (and layman’s terms):

breastfeeding_anatomy

Nothing sexual about that, has nothing to do with actually creating life, they are mostly sacks of fat on our chest (that is when they aren’t actually in use). The only reason they get involved in sexual play is because of those lovely nerve endings (and boy are those nerve endings fun). The attraction to women with a larger chest is a natural thing. Bigger the breast our animalistic selves think better to feed baby with, also triggers the more fertile thought process as well, now that doesn’t mean our smaller chested friends can’t breastfeed or breastfeed as well or aren’t as fertile (like I said animalistic thinking so not based in fact). The sexualization however is a newer construct of modern society. Ever wonder why in those pictures of third world countries in Africa the women are topless?

The second reason given here really pissed me off. The public breastfeeding is dangerous.

Really? This goes based off the messed up ideology that if a man sees a boob he will completely lose his control (and sanity) and attack. Okay, that may be over dramatizing it a bit but seriously I am sick of people excusing deplorable actions by lowering men to the level of sex crazed animals. Last time I checked decent human beings have control over their sexual urges, especially in the completely nonsexual context that breastfeeding is in. And I love the “asking” for harassment. Umm no, she is feeding her child. The victim blaming is strong here. But to me this seems to be a ridiculous argument. I have not once heard of a woman getting sexually harassed or assaulted because a guy saw her breastfeeding.

The awkward social interactions thing is so dumb. Once it becomes more publically acceptable (meaning women don’t have to even worry about having this dumb debate in the first place) it will be as normal as a woman bottle feeding. It’s only awkward if you make it. I don’t understand the ‘children may ask seemingly inappropriate questions about what the mother is doing” part. The woman breastfeeding is a mother and will already understand why children ask the questions they do. And finally the “the baby may make loud sucking noises that can make others uncomfortable” part. Are you a child? You can’t handle a sucking sound? Newsflash, that is how they get their nutrition, sucking, whether on a bottle or on Mommy’s nature given bottle.

Lastly, the argument that “the act of breastfeeding is physically and emotionally intimate and, therefore, should not be done in public”. Again, just stupid. So no one should kiss, hold hands, stare into each other’s eyes, hug or anything else that could be deemed “physically and emotionally intimate” in public.

My all time favorite argument (by men) is that it’s illegal for men to whip their dick out in public so it should be for a woman to breastfeed because she is “whipping out her boob”. There is just so much umm no in that argument. First, huge difference between a penis and a boob. A penis is a sexual organ, and once again, breasts are not. You don’t feed a baby with your dick (at least I pray to the Gods you don’t, if you do please kindly turn yourself in or just off yourself). As for the whipping out the boob part, refer to the above picture. Women who breastfeed have the sense to wear clothes where her breast is very readily accessible to the baby (because you try to hold a not happy hungry baby and try to work complicated clothing), and will hold the baby in place before moving any kind of clothing out of the way. So the chances of you actually seeing breast is very minimal and only if you are really watching for it.

Trying to tell a woman that she shouldn’t breastfeed in public really is telling a woman if she wants to breastfeed she has to stay home all the time, and that really isn’t right and completely unrealistic. She can’t wait until she gets home to feed her baby, because that baby will be hungry when he or she gets hungry, they don’t stick to their mom’s

Breasts are used in advertisements all the time, so the fact that people are so disturbed when a woman actually uses them for what they were intended for is just ridiculous.

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Here is a link to some tips for mother’s that aren’t that confident in breastfeeding in public but want to be.

Here is a link for some responses to people directly arguing with it ( that is I you want to be nicer than what I would be).

When it comes down to it  the law is on your side on this, unless you live in Idaho.

A little disclaimer here: I have nothing against women who choose to not breastfeed. That is your body. As a matter of fact, I do have a problem with people shaming a woman for making that choice.

Until next time my loves!

For the Love of the Golden Goddess

Kind of going along the lines of the tarot reading I did for Thor and Fenrir, I decided might as well keep it going for all of the Gods in my life.

Next was Freya.

I haven’t talked too terribly much about her as of late but She is still very much an active member of my life.

I asked her what She would like out of our relationship. I was consulting my Mystic Faerie Tarot deck.

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The Eight of Cups was the first card I pulled.

Just for information purposes, if you aren’t particularly familiar with tarot, the cups cards are usually dealing with emotions.

In the Mystic Faerie tarot each card as a story about the faerie on the card. This one apparently fell in love with a wood elf that disappeared. The card depicting her looking for her beloved elf, having found a dragonfly as a companion that knows the homes of the elves.

 Are you kidding me? Thank you for being so obvious that the message is from you Lady.

In the “your message” section of the description of this card, it said basically you already know what needs to be done but you have to be brave enough to do it.

Well thanks for being semi cryptic. So I pulled another one for clarity.

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The Empress was the next one I pulled.

Interesting history with this card. When I did a reading for my older sister forever ago, her wanting to know if she is ever going to have children, this was her  future card. Was made pretty obvious that it was going to happen, she just needed to be patient and get her spending under control (the rest of that is from the rest of the card, pentacles was heavy in the spread, the money suit). She didn’t believe me, having convinced herself she was barren.  For the new players at home, she is in fact currently pregnant. I still need to perform for her the “I told you so” dance. If you don’t know what that is, its a dance Elliot from Scrubs does.

Any who, back on topic.

The Empress is very much about love and nurturing. This deck specifically talks about finding the beauty in what would normally be considered plain (the stalks of wheat).

When looking at the first card, I had my suspicions on what She was talking about, and The Empress confirmed it.

Since Freya has come into my life, she consistently forces me to look myself in the eye. Forces me to see my own beauty despite how painful it may be for me (and with my history, it is painful). And once I do that, I am shown the beauty in others. To revel in it. That is what she wants of me. To see the beauty in all things and to show others the same. To not be afraid to be loud about it, to go forward.

She feels I am even more qualified for this with my work with Thor and Fenrir, my work in strength and of unbinding.

To show the strength in beauty and the beauty in strength.

The other day, for the first time ever, I gave her an offering in tears.

A video was brought to my attention. A video of an over weight woman that stripped to just a bra and underwear in a crowded city square. She put a blind fold on herself, and held markers in her hands that were outstretched.

The amount of love she received really brought me to tears, and Freya asked for them which I lovingly obliged.

That is all I have on this for the moment.

Until next time loves.

I don’t need your false concern

So it was brought to my attention that there was a little bit of a video battle going on between this chick on YouTube and the star of My Big Fat Fabulous Life.

Basically the YouTuber (and I can’t recall her name, and don’t really care enough to look it up) posted a video directed at fat people. Basically an attack on people who are overweight and saying “fat shaming doesn’t exist”.

Fat shaming falls under the unpleasant umbrella that is body shaming, something that is typically aimed at those that identify as women (though men do get it too). It isn’t just fat shaming that happens (insulting/attacking larger people because of their size) but there is also skinny shaming.

I’m going to start this with the statement I firmly believe in, especially when it comes to someone else’s body:

MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS

But here goes.

The YouTuber put a disclaimer toward the beginning of her video that is wasn’t aimed at people who are big because of a medical condition. The star of (I’m going to abbreviate here) MBFFL replied to this with the truth. You can’t tell by just looking at someone if they have a medical condition or not. People don’t walk around with doctor notes taped to their chest to excuse their size.

The next little disclaimer she puts in is that it isn’t directed toward people who just have “a little cushion for the pushin’ “. I’m so glad you don’t mind that I’m chubby.

Then this is where my point comes in. She goes on to insult larger people (referring to Crisco coming out of their pores like play-doh), but turns around and says the reasons for the insulting is  because she is “selfish” and wants them to be around. Saying fat shaming is a good thing because it will push people to lose weight.

First of all, no. Insulting someone about their weight isn’t going to help them lose weight. If that was the case everyone would be skinny. I can almost guarantee anyone of a larger size has been picked on, bullied, or have been down right fucking rude to them because of their size. Especially if they are any where on the internet. Not only does it not push them to lose weight, a lot of the time they will gain more. The stress of dealing with that kind of ridicule not only puts stress on the body, causing more of those nasty fat storing hormones, but some of these people are also stress eaters.

Second of all, no. “Concern” for someone’s health is constantly used as an excuse to ridicule them for their size. Saying things like a big girl being body positive is “glorifying” obesity, “glorifying” an unhealthy lifestyle. No, it’s glorifying their own damn body and they are entitled to do so. There is also that thing again, you can’t tell someone’s health status by looking at them. You can’t tell their habits just by looking at them.

Let me give you an example. I will compare myself to my younger brother.

I am 22 years old. I’m not sure about my actual weight (I avoid the scale because I’ve actually got quite a bit of muscle), possibly close to 200 lbs., and I am 5’5. I wear size 12 ( 14 sometimes depending on the brand) pants and a large to extra large shirt, with size 14 dress size. I exercise on a semi regular basis (shit comes up sometimes), I try to not eat overly fatty foods and 99% of the time I avoid junk food, I also watch my portion sizes. I have slightly high blood pressure and breathing problems, but I’m a smoker with mild asthma (yea don’t start in on the don’t smoke shit, I know). I’m a chubby girl, and I’m not ashamed of that. If you look at my father’s side I am actually the tallest and the skinniest. My mom’s side is very mixed in that area.

Now my younger brother. He is 16. I don’t know his weight or height or sizes. He is probably around 6 foot if not taller, and when he takes off his shirt you can literally see his ribs. He eats fatty crap and junk food constantly. He is a typical teenage boy. He really gets it from his dad (we have different dads).

Now if you took us side by side, with clothes on, everyone would assume (makes an ass out of u and me) that he is healthier than me. With, lets say, only swim suits on, people would think we were both unhealthy. His doctor says he is perfectly healthy, and I already mentioned my problems (which actually have little to do with my weight).

See what I’m saying. I get fat shamed, he gets skinny shamed. You really can’t win unless you perfectly fit what society labels as acceptable.

So therefore, your “concern” is bullshit.

Unless you are that persons doctor, shut your mouth about someone’s size.

Most people who fain this “concern” are people who want to seem like they care when in reality it makes them feel superior. If you have a problem with someone’s size and you have to say something, at least be honest about how much of an asshole you really are.

I’ll say it one more time:

 JUST MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.

That is all.

Until next time my loves.

(I may end up adding a full body picture of myself later, but I don’t have one at the moment)

Prostitution – Should it be legalized?

**For my readers outside of the U.S., this is really about legalization in America. There are other countries that have already legalized it. **

Ahh, prostitution. The World’s Oldest profession.

The legalization of selling sex for money is really a rather complicated debate and I’ve read a lot of arguments from both sides.

There are some benefits to it.

These type of workers get abused, raped, sometimes all of the money taken, and sometimes even killed. They can’t go to the police because they are considered as criminals as well so they won’t get any help. If legalized, they will actually be able to go to the police.

If legalized it can be regulated and taxed.

With regulations we can keep minors out of this certain line out of work, keep regular STD/HIV testing, and make sure these women are being fairly compensated.

Condoms are often used as evidence against their clients, so most “johns” will go without. This aids in the spread of STDs. If legalized these women can actually enforce condom usage and protect themselves.

With taxing the country gets more money. These women are also no longer using up time in courts, being arrested and in jail and this time equals money. Money the government actually saves (tax payer’s money). The problem with the laws that are in affect currently is the only ones that get punished are the workers. Their “pimps” (I feel really weird saying that seriously by the way) and the clients are rarely punished and some of these women are actually forced into the work. So a lot of the time the victim is really the one being punished.

One of the arguments for legalization is that people do it anyway. Yea, that’s not a good argument. Meth is illegal but people still find a way to do it and that definitely should not be legalized.

The big con that I saw the most? The belief that it increases the amount of human trafficking.

Through my searching I actually ended up with conflicting stories on that. Unfortunately human trafficking is a hard thing to have accurate numbers with. It is really meant to be that way, kept in the shadows to keep them from being stopped.

I read up on some of the countries that have legalized it. From what I read, it seems the main reason they legalized it was to try to curb human trafficking, and like I said I have conflicting numbers on how that turned out.

The resounding conclusion though, is that they failed on all accounts. They failed in stopping human trafficking, failed in protecting these women and failed in giving them a better quality of life.

From the testimonials I read, I see two major reasons why.

Legalizing something does not de-stigmatize.

Prostitutes really end up being looked at the same way porn stars do. They are seen typically as sleazy, dirty, and less than human. They are (typically) women that are very open about sexuality, and that is never seen as good in society, especially when you are make money off it. Really that feeling just goes toward sexuality in general, but mostly directed at women. Making the act legal doesn’t change that view point. You have to change the way people look at a woman’s sexuality, and the view on sex as a whole. Because that stigma is still very prevalent these workers will want to stay as anonymous as possible and won’t sign contracts that are in the end better for them. Contracts that can protect them. This also keeps them from reporting abuse. They still fear being looked at as less than human by cops and lawyers.

The second reason?

The brothels that inevitably pop up are not regulated. They are only required to report when they open and that’s it. From there they can do whatever they want. A lot of these places actually keep the women hostage. Charge them for the room and then tell them they can’t leave it unless supervised. They don’t keep the workers in consideration at all. They will force these women to certain standards to entice more customers, like not having to use a condom (very counter productive) and giving a flat rate. Flat rate means the customer pays a set price and he gets the worker for as long as he wants and basically can do what he wants. Treating these people as products that they want to get the most bang for their buck with instead of actual people.

Both of these issues really can by boiled down to legalizing but not really caring about these workers.

But wait!

There is a sort of third option. Something that many believe to have been completely successful.

It’s referred to as the Nordic Model.

Basically, they legalized selling sex but criminalized buying sex. This was a part of a larger Violence Against Women bill. This is based on the premise that prostitution is a violation of gender equality. Started out as the Swedish Model but once shown as successful, Norway adopted it as well, making it the Nordic Model. Since, more countries have adopted this.

It has been shown to prevent the increase in prostitution (the rise in prostitution in countries that legalized it is one of the arguments against it), and is shown to lower the rate of human trafficking.

The one argument against it that I have seen is the “what about the women choosing to go into prostitution?” question.

The whole debate is rather complicated.

Please keep comments respectful. I typically don’t delete comments but I will if I have to.

That said I welcome comments and opinions on this matter.

I’m so proud!

So the other day while I was scrolling through Facebook (I do so often when I’m bored) I came across a picture that was posted by one of the BBW pages I follow. Yes BBW. For the new viewers at home I am on the bigger side of the spectrum.

Any who.

There was post they shared, and I can’t remember the exact words on it, but it was basically along the lines of only big or “curvy” women can be sexy.

So why am I proud? The people who follow this page are mostly either bigger women or men who prefer bigger women. The comments that the picture got? Bigger women calling out skinny shaming. Of course there was like one guy that agreed with it but I’m choosing to overlook that.

That is awesome!

My relationship with Freya really has changed some things for me. You begin to see the beauty in everyone. Don’t get me wrong, some times I have to catch my self for thinking “she shouldn’t wear that” or something in that sort of category. The brain washing of society.

Big, skinny, chubby, little, young, older, doesn’t matter.

You’re still beautiful

What Your Supposed to Be

People seem to have this need to put everything in their neat little groups. It helps them stay organized. If they put this in this little group, that’s where it belongs and that means they are/do this, this and this.

That works well with objects, not so much with people.

I’m going to speak from my own personal experience, but I’d love input from people in other “groups” and what they experience.

“Oh you’re a feminist?” that must mean you:

-hate men.

-don’t shave.

-chastise stay at home mothers.

-only care about women’s problems.

-are a “feminazi”.

-blame everything on the “patriarchal society”.

-are a lonely, fat, ugly woman with a  “bob” hair cut (yes I’ve heard a guy say all feminists are lonely, fat, and ugly with butch hair cuts).

-are actually just a lesbian.

-overly sensitive, and will attack someone over anything that could possibly be against a woman.

-will bitch out a guy for doing anything nice for you like opening doors.

-don’t wear a bra.

Oh you’re a heathen?” that must mean you:

-only listen to Viking metal (not necessarily a bad thing), and always wear their shirts.

-only got into it because of Marvel, and want to do Tom Hiddleston or Chris Hemsworth (because I’m a woman).

-are racist.

-just want an excuse to drink and dress like a Viking (my Friday nights are none of your business Mister!).

-are surrounded by misogynist pigs (because I’m a woman I don’t get called one).

-are a hipster that was too cool for Wicca.

-are a blood thirsty, war monger.

-actually worship the devil, whether you know it or not.

-are super open sexually, since your pagan (or a nice way to say I must get around).

-are doing it for attention from/to impress guys (because I’m a female Heathen).

-must fight with other Heathens about how to interpret the lore.

Oh you’re a woman?” that must mean you (not to be confused with the feminist one):

-are weak.

-only want attention.

-freak out when you break a nail.

-talk a lot.

-nag constantly.

-enjoy teasing men.

-hate sex.

-lie about how long it takes to get ready.

-lie about your weight and/or age.

-never genuinely compliment another woman, its a petty stab at her.

-only want men to buy you things.

-only want a rich guy.

“Oh you’re a nerd/geek?” that must mean you:

-are doing it for attention from/to impress guys (because I’m a female nerd/geek).

-have no social life.

-have no friends.

-spend all your time on a computer or playing video games.

-burn in the sunlight (I’m a vampire now? I’ll take it as long as I don’t sparkle).

-like all the nerdy/geeky things like WoW, or D & D.

-have no love life/are a virgin.

-must be easy because most guys wouldn’t want me.

*I’m not going to get into all the media stereotypes.*

“Oh your chubby?” that must mean you:

-are lazy.

-don’t care about your looks.

-eat constantly.

-just sit on your ass all day, everyday.

-are easy because most guys wouldn’t want you.

-are funny because you don’t have the looks (not sure how to feel about this one).

-are jealous of women skinnier than you.

-unhealthy, even when compared to people who are skinny and eat nothing but junk.

There are a lot of other groups I fall into, and frankly I don’t feel like getting into them. I’d say about 99% of these are completely wrong, and the one (well one, the feminist being chubby) has nothing to do with the category that I fall into. Some these are assumptions because I’m in both group A and B (usually in one group plus I’m a woman).

It’s seems usually the loudest of different groups are the ones that help shape our view of what the people in said group are or should be/do. Or are completely shaped by media/society.

Slut Shaming

So I found out this morning that my 11 year old niece is being called a slut by here classmates.

Seriously?

She is 11!

Just really ticks me off. Not only because she is my niece (which is a big part of it) but because slut shaming is starting so young.

My niece, just like me, developed early. For some reason that makes you perfect for bullying, especially from other girls. Like there is some kind of assumption that you have control over your own body and you wanted to develop before anyone else so you could get all the boys’ attention.

This is something so rampant in today’s society and it’s pretty obvious why. It’s a Christian concept.

I was on Facebook the other day, and on my news feed there was this article called “Spirit Husbands”. I thought well that makes sense, lets read this!

It was a Christian article, telling women that sex toys, porn, and masturbation are keeping God from finding them a good husband. That this behavior attracts some sort of sexual demon that attaches to you. So throw away all your sex toys, porn, and clear your thoughts of anything sexual!

Ugh!

I started reading the comments, and I was a little proud (though some pissed me off). There were a lot of women complaining about this being directed only towards women. There were some women agreeing with this, and every man that commented was agreeing.

It’s a pretty old way of thinking. Women’s sexuality is demonized (in this case quite literally) but male sexuality is perfectly normal and more so, expected.

A woman that can pleasure herself, doesn’t need a man to do so. Therefore, she has power over her own body. We can’t have that!

*I interrupt this rant with a disclaimer: Obviously men are not just good for sexual purposes, a good man can offer good companionship and someone who can fight by your side. This rant is about sexuality, so that is what I’m going to be talking about here*

Sexuality is supposed to be a male thing. If it’s masculine that means there is power behind it. Power women are not supposed to have.

Society is very slowly becoming more sex positive but it is slow goings.

People don’t seem to realize that this view point causes harm to men too.

That men are seen as purely sexual creatures, means that any time they are sexually assaulted or raped it is shrugged off. “Men love sex, how could they not enjoy that?”

Hate to break it to y’all, but men don’t always want sex. Hel, there are some men who identify as asexual.

Men are allowed to not want sex, just as much as women are allowed to want it.

This stupid shit needs to stop.

Per usual, I feel like this post was a little scattered, so I hope everyone can follow my crazy train of thought.

Are you kidding me?

I’ve been very sick the last couple of days, and had a date on Saturday. I’ll talk a little bit more about that in another post, for those (if any) are curious. It’s been a little….well, odd.

I had a couple of what the fuck moments these past couple days.

I’m going to talk about the most recent first because it’s fresh in my mind.

I was standing in the checkout line, waiting my turn after doing some grocery shopping.

Side note, grocery shopping tends to make me a bit homicidal. I just want to get in and get my stuff and then get out. That’s it! People constantly cut me off, or block up the whole aisle while they stare at something deciding which brand they want, or walk super slow in front of me. When I get in that store I’m a woman on a mission. No browsing for this girl.

Anywho, back on topic.

At pretty much any grocery store, at the register there is always a thing of different crap magazines, talking about what celebrity did what. My favorite *insert sarcasm* is Cosmopolitan.

On Sunday, it was a super long line, so I looked over. I saw Hilary Duff on the cover of Cosmo, which was a shocker and why I kept looking. Haven’t seen her since Lizzy Maguire days. That’s when I came across the little headline on it “The #1 Thing Men Are Good For (Besides You Know)”

What the fuck?

 I feel like this is something we don’t talk enough about as feminists (at least the not misandrists, actual feminists). Women wanting to be equal, but still wanting men to fit in these neat little box. They want macho men that will pay the bills, work on the house, and protect their family. But he better not want her to cook!

Want to know what a man is good for? Well, hopefully I would say you got with him for a not superficial reason like financial support, but because he makes you laugh, or is very loving, maybe he is the only one that gets your personal brand of weird. Whatever it is, there probably isn’t one number one thing. Each person is different. You can’t say “all of one group is good at this”. If your reason is financial stability, or someone to work on your house? Leave him. He deserves someone so much better than you.

How would you like it if there was a men’s magazine talking about how women are only good for cooking, or doing your laundry, (because we aren’t counting the “you know” thing which I’m sure is referring to sex) or whatever thing women were expected to do before we could get jobs?

Same concept.

If you are with someone just for the sex, I don’t see anything wrong with that, as long as you make it perfectly clear that it is the only reason. And I say that for both men and women (and everything in between). If you make it clear from the very beginning, it isn’t your fault if feelings get involved, which they most likely will. I know that isn’t a popular concept with women. If it is made very clear from the beginning you can’t blame anyone but yourself. Sorry, thems the facts.

I didn’t even bother looking at said magazine, just really using it as a base for my own rant.

The other what the fuck moment.

I watch YouTube videos by a Phillip DeFranco. He really cracks me up.

Anyway, he had made a video commenting about this “feminist”.

She had used a donor to get pregnant (nothing wrong with that), but the problem started when she found out the gender of the baby.

I’m sure you can tell where this is going.

The baby turned out to be male, or as far as they can tell. And she aborted.

Now, I personally do not agree with abortion, but that as an opinion for me only. I don’t see it as an option for myself. I don’t judge women who do it, it is their body after all.

This is something completely different.

She wanted the child. This was completely on purpose. She got a donor; this wasn’t the result of rape, or incest.

No, she simply didn’t want to bring another male in to the world.

Un fucking believable.

You would think, maybe she would take the opportunity to raise a good man, one that will treat women with respect, and to respect himself.

No. Because he was going to be born with an appendage between his legs, he wasn’t worthy of life.

Just sickens me.

Little side note. When they were trying to figure out my gender, apparently I wouldn’t sit still for the ultrasound so they originally thought I was going to be a boy. But, I was born a girl. My mom actually wanted a boy since she already had a daughter, but she got her boy after me. Either way, she was happy with the child she got.

What Really Grinds My Gears

Let me start out with this.

Heathen’s tend to be accused of many things. One of them is being a bunch of misogynists. I believe the reason for this is that you will find a lot of Heathen’s are men. It seems a lot of pagan women are a lot more interested in Wicca. The main deity is the Goddess so I can kind of understand, especially when you compare that to a religion that seems to be most known for battle, and drinking mead (so very not true, but if you look at Heathen stuff, that’s a lot of what you will find in the mainstream).

Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some pigs in the religions, but frankly you find them everywhere. It is definitely not heathen specific.

If you go back in history though, the Norse were actually really ahead of their time in the treatment of women. They had a goddess of war (my dear Freya), women were allowed to own property. They were in charge of the home, because they took care of it.

Fact is, that if there are sexist heathens, it’s because of today’s society, not the religion.

 

Now getting to my point.

On Facebook, I have a lot of heathen related pages that I follow. A lot of it is good stuff. Then I come across a lot of pictures of women in armor. You think “what’s the big deal?” The big deal is the type of armor they are fucking in. They are basically metal bikinis. Pretty similar to what you would find in rpg’s and really any video game that is set in a time or place where they wear armor and you have the options of playing a woman.

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I’m sure you do!

There are a few pages that will every once in a while have pictures up of women in actual armor, and the comments are always awesome. But those pictures are few and far between.

I also come across a lot of pictures of topless women, holding their breasts to cover them, with a Mjolnir pendant sitting right in between them. And the comments are always ridiculous.

This, my friends, is why people think heathens are sexist pigs.

And it really fucking pisses me off.

You’re probably thinking “Silver, why don’t you just unfollow those pages?” Because they have a lot of good stuff, and tend to actually post some really good information. It’s not like I’m reporting any of the pictures (as a matter of fact I don’t think I’ve ever reported a picture on Facebook). I just usually ignore pictures I don’t like. I just get pissed off seeing this shit over, and over, and over, and over again.

End of rant.