Let’s talk about boobs

Probably not in the way that you are wanting though.

Celebrating Frigga today (actually this was originally typed up on Friday but I couldn’t finish it, so pretend I posted it yesterday), so I decided to talk about a mommy issue (since she is the All Mother after all!)

So today we shall talk about what those boobs are actually supposed to be for, feeding babies!

Breastfeeding is becoming a sort of trend now. The sign of the new age mother that is more “natural”. As trends go, this is definitely a good one. At this point most people know the health benefits of breastfeeding as apposed to formula for both the mother and baby. So why is there so much controversy surrounding it. Let’s discuss!

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I came across this particular sign posted on the doors of a local Michaels, and also saw one on Target’s doors. It is a sign signifying that the establishment supports breastfeeding, even in public.

Here’s the thing. That really shouldn’t be necessary.

Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things a woman can do. That is how babies have been fed since the beginning of time. Saying you support breastfeeding is like saying you support feeding babies. Kind of redundant isn’t it? So if you replace “breastfeeding” with “feeding a baby” in the argument about breastfeeding in public it becomes an argument about feeding a baby in public.

First, lets take a little look at the law.

According to NCSL (National Conference of State Legislatures) 49 states, the District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location (meaning privately owned businesses). So all of them but one, Idaho.

29 states, District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws.

That’s where it doesn’t make much sense to me. So in the other 20 states that don’t have that exemption, you can breastfeed in public but get in trouble for public indecency?

Now lets get to the arguments against breastfeeding in public.

I came across this little nugget here. These are where I will start here and add some more.

The first one is that breastfeeding in public is indecent.

Yea, no.

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Most of the time that is about all you will see. I’ve seen women walk around in shirts that show way more than that but are still not considered “indecent”.

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Hel, this shows more boob and was on national television.

Here’s the thing, breasts are not indecent, despite what modern society wants to tell you. The argument is that they are “sexual organs” so they should be covered. Umm, no they aren’t. Let’s take a look at the anatomy of a breast. Anatomy-of-Breast11 - Copy

And here shows for more breastfeeding specific (and layman’s terms):

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Nothing sexual about that, has nothing to do with actually creating life, they are mostly sacks of fat on our chest (that is when they aren’t actually in use). The only reason they get involved in sexual play is because of those lovely nerve endings (and boy are those nerve endings fun). The attraction to women with a larger chest is a natural thing. Bigger the breast our animalistic selves think better to feed baby with, also triggers the more fertile thought process as well, now that doesn’t mean our smaller chested friends can’t breastfeed or breastfeed as well or aren’t as fertile (like I said animalistic thinking so not based in fact). The sexualization however is a newer construct of modern society. Ever wonder why in those pictures of third world countries in Africa the women are topless?

The second reason given here really pissed me off. The public breastfeeding is dangerous.

Really? This goes based off the messed up ideology that if a man sees a boob he will completely lose his control (and sanity) and attack. Okay, that may be over dramatizing it a bit but seriously I am sick of people excusing deplorable actions by lowering men to the level of sex crazed animals. Last time I checked decent human beings have control over their sexual urges, especially in the completely nonsexual context that breastfeeding is in. And I love the “asking” for harassment. Umm no, she is feeding her child. The victim blaming is strong here. But to me this seems to be a ridiculous argument. I have not once heard of a woman getting sexually harassed or assaulted because a guy saw her breastfeeding.

The awkward social interactions thing is so dumb. Once it becomes more publically acceptable (meaning women don’t have to even worry about having this dumb debate in the first place) it will be as normal as a woman bottle feeding. It’s only awkward if you make it. I don’t understand the ‘children may ask seemingly inappropriate questions about what the mother is doing” part. The woman breastfeeding is a mother and will already understand why children ask the questions they do. And finally the “the baby may make loud sucking noises that can make others uncomfortable” part. Are you a child? You can’t handle a sucking sound? Newsflash, that is how they get their nutrition, sucking, whether on a bottle or on Mommy’s nature given bottle.

Lastly, the argument that “the act of breastfeeding is physically and emotionally intimate and, therefore, should not be done in public”. Again, just stupid. So no one should kiss, hold hands, stare into each other’s eyes, hug or anything else that could be deemed “physically and emotionally intimate” in public.

My all time favorite argument (by men) is that it’s illegal for men to whip their dick out in public so it should be for a woman to breastfeed because she is “whipping out her boob”. There is just so much umm no in that argument. First, huge difference between a penis and a boob. A penis is a sexual organ, and once again, breasts are not. You don’t feed a baby with your dick (at least I pray to the Gods you don’t, if you do please kindly turn yourself in or just off yourself). As for the whipping out the boob part, refer to the above picture. Women who breastfeed have the sense to wear clothes where her breast is very readily accessible to the baby (because you try to hold a not happy hungry baby and try to work complicated clothing), and will hold the baby in place before moving any kind of clothing out of the way. So the chances of you actually seeing breast is very minimal and only if you are really watching for it.

Trying to tell a woman that she shouldn’t breastfeed in public really is telling a woman if she wants to breastfeed she has to stay home all the time, and that really isn’t right and completely unrealistic. She can’t wait until she gets home to feed her baby, because that baby will be hungry when he or she gets hungry, they don’t stick to their mom’s

Breasts are used in advertisements all the time, so the fact that people are so disturbed when a woman actually uses them for what they were intended for is just ridiculous.

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Here is a link to some tips for mother’s that aren’t that confident in breastfeeding in public but want to be.

Here is a link for some responses to people directly arguing with it ( that is I you want to be nicer than what I would be).

When it comes down to it  the law is on your side on this, unless you live in Idaho.

A little disclaimer here: I have nothing against women who choose to not breastfeed. That is your body. As a matter of fact, I do have a problem with people shaming a woman for making that choice.

Until next time my loves!

I don’t need your false concern

So it was brought to my attention that there was a little bit of a video battle going on between this chick on YouTube and the star of My Big Fat Fabulous Life.

Basically the YouTuber (and I can’t recall her name, and don’t really care enough to look it up) posted a video directed at fat people. Basically an attack on people who are overweight and saying “fat shaming doesn’t exist”.

Fat shaming falls under the unpleasant umbrella that is body shaming, something that is typically aimed at those that identify as women (though men do get it too). It isn’t just fat shaming that happens (insulting/attacking larger people because of their size) but there is also skinny shaming.

I’m going to start this with the statement I firmly believe in, especially when it comes to someone else’s body:

MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS

But here goes.

The YouTuber put a disclaimer toward the beginning of her video that is wasn’t aimed at people who are big because of a medical condition. The star of (I’m going to abbreviate here) MBFFL replied to this with the truth. You can’t tell by just looking at someone if they have a medical condition or not. People don’t walk around with doctor notes taped to their chest to excuse their size.

The next little disclaimer she puts in is that it isn’t directed toward people who just have “a little cushion for the pushin’ “. I’m so glad you don’t mind that I’m chubby.

Then this is where my point comes in. She goes on to insult larger people (referring to Crisco coming out of their pores like play-doh), but turns around and says the reasons for the insulting is  because she is “selfish” and wants them to be around. Saying fat shaming is a good thing because it will push people to lose weight.

First of all, no. Insulting someone about their weight isn’t going to help them lose weight. If that was the case everyone would be skinny. I can almost guarantee anyone of a larger size has been picked on, bullied, or have been down right fucking rude to them because of their size. Especially if they are any where on the internet. Not only does it not push them to lose weight, a lot of the time they will gain more. The stress of dealing with that kind of ridicule not only puts stress on the body, causing more of those nasty fat storing hormones, but some of these people are also stress eaters.

Second of all, no. “Concern” for someone’s health is constantly used as an excuse to ridicule them for their size. Saying things like a big girl being body positive is “glorifying” obesity, “glorifying” an unhealthy lifestyle. No, it’s glorifying their own damn body and they are entitled to do so. There is also that thing again, you can’t tell someone’s health status by looking at them. You can’t tell their habits just by looking at them.

Let me give you an example. I will compare myself to my younger brother.

I am 22 years old. I’m not sure about my actual weight (I avoid the scale because I’ve actually got quite a bit of muscle), possibly close to 200 lbs., and I am 5’5. I wear size 12 ( 14 sometimes depending on the brand) pants and a large to extra large shirt, with size 14 dress size. I exercise on a semi regular basis (shit comes up sometimes), I try to not eat overly fatty foods and 99% of the time I avoid junk food, I also watch my portion sizes. I have slightly high blood pressure and breathing problems, but I’m a smoker with mild asthma (yea don’t start in on the don’t smoke shit, I know). I’m a chubby girl, and I’m not ashamed of that. If you look at my father’s side I am actually the tallest and the skinniest. My mom’s side is very mixed in that area.

Now my younger brother. He is 16. I don’t know his weight or height or sizes. He is probably around 6 foot if not taller, and when he takes off his shirt you can literally see his ribs. He eats fatty crap and junk food constantly. He is a typical teenage boy. He really gets it from his dad (we have different dads).

Now if you took us side by side, with clothes on, everyone would assume (makes an ass out of u and me) that he is healthier than me. With, lets say, only swim suits on, people would think we were both unhealthy. His doctor says he is perfectly healthy, and I already mentioned my problems (which actually have little to do with my weight).

See what I’m saying. I get fat shamed, he gets skinny shamed. You really can’t win unless you perfectly fit what society labels as acceptable.

So therefore, your “concern” is bullshit.

Unless you are that persons doctor, shut your mouth about someone’s size.

Most people who fain this “concern” are people who want to seem like they care when in reality it makes them feel superior. If you have a problem with someone’s size and you have to say something, at least be honest about how much of an asshole you really are.

I’ll say it one more time:

 JUST MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.

That is all.

Until next time my loves.

(I may end up adding a full body picture of myself later, but I don’t have one at the moment)

Really Just Sad – Part II

Part One

I wasn’t really planning on making a second part to this. This second part won’t be as…. well, emotional. This one is going to be more about something that irritates me, and will be shorter.

So I’ve talked before about the Heathen pages on Facebook and them constantly posting almost nude women irritated me (here is the whole rant if interested). Now, I’m not one of the ones to comment bitching about it. At this point I just shrug it off.

Sometimes though, I do look at the comments just to see if anything surprising pops up.

And this morning, I got a good one.

The picture was pretty nice, not gonna lie, but again was looking for a surprise in the comments. A man commented on the relevance of the picture to our religion. He wasn’t really complaining, just questioning what it had to do with anything. Oh, and boy did he get attacked.

The first reply to it was no shocker, called him gay. Because apparently if you are a male and don’t drool and made obscene comments about an almost naked woman you have to love dick. Perfectly logical.

This is exactly what happens. I’ve seen posts on Facebook (not Heathen related pages) about a guy being told he is gay because he didn’t take advantage of a passed out girl, with the comment that he would rather be called gay than a rapist.

That’s really fucking pathetic.

That is really part of the problem that society has, something that blocks men from being able to be themselves rather than fit this macho over sexed mold.

It really puts men as the predators with this kind of attitude. And the predator can never be the prey. See how these posts connect?

Really Just Sad

So this particular post is going to get a bit into some men’s rights and treatment of men.

Last weekend (not this past one, the one before that) after coming back from Texas I spent the night with my boyfriend. Watched Supernatural (which he addicted to thanks to yours truly) cuddling, drank and went to bed. Going to bed never goes right into sleeping. We cuddled for awhile and he started talking, and then started crying. Mind you he was pretty drunk.

But he was crying because he felt like he didn’t deserve me. Crying because he didn’t have a job, or a car, and lived in his grandmother’s basement, and I was too good for him.

Made me really sad that he didn’t see himself for what he is. It also made me sad because in reality, a shallower woman would brush him off completely for those reasons alone.

But I know him. It’s not exactly a situation the he wants to be in. He is trying to get a job, and get a car, and that’s what matters to me. I try to tell him how amazing he is, and how lucky I am to have him.

It’s really just sad that it hit him like that. Batman (what I call my boyfriend) is actually more of a masculine type guy (think Thor type, he even has a red beard) so the fact that it hit him that hard really is just sad, of course didn’t help he had drank quite a bit of whiskey.

I just continued to cuddle with him and wiped his tears away. He calmed down, we cuddled more, and then had a bit of fun.

Now, fast forward to yesterday. I spent Saturday night with him after my best friend’s house warming party, which was fun.

Sidenote: My best friend’s roommate is a transgendered woman and how accepting Batman is and how easily he deals with it is amazing.

Woke up in a very wonderful way yesterday morning. We hung out in bed for awhile just to be attacked by his Australian Shepherd and two cats. It was fun. Got up, went out to eat, then went back to talk for a bit.

Now, Batman and I are two pretty quiet people. Not sure how that works out, but it does. I do on occasion get into very talkative mood. What brought it on? We started talking about religion. Not sure how it started. Batman (to my surprise, I always thought he was Atheist) is a bit of an Animist, but he was interested in some of the Norse stories. I told him a few, didn’t have enough time to get into even half of the lore based stories. The ones I got into though, he enjoyed.

Anyway, that got me in a talkative mood, and as you guys know I have a tendency to jump around on subjects.

We ended up talking about the time his friend got in trouble by the law. He hit the woman he was with because she was coming at him with a knife.

I will go on record saying the whole “there is never a reason to hit a woman, ever” is bullshit. Men have the right to defend themselves, doesn’t matter the gender of the attacker. I have seen some very violent and psycho women that really do need to get knocked on their ass.

How do those stories tie together you might ask.

Emotional and physical abuse, men can be the victims of both at the hands of women and it isn’t something that is talked about enough.

In the physical abuse, men tend to feel trapped because they get told they can’t fight because the fact she is a woman. In emotional abuse, they tend to get caught in the same loop women who endure emotional abuse go through. They believe they deserve it, or the abuser tricks them into thinking no one else will ever love them.

It is being talked more than before (that’s compared to not at all) but not enough for real progress to be made.

Coming Out

In honor of Same Sex Marriage being legal now through out the U.S. thanks to the Supreme Court, I’m going to talk a bit about when I came out as bisexual.

Being bisexual isn’t something I talk all the much about. You tell people your bi you get a different reaction then gays, or lesbians. Yea you get the typical hate crap, but bisexual/pansexual/polysexual what have you, get extra stuff.

“You’re just going through a phase.”

“You can’t make up your mind.”

“You say that just to be more attractive to guys.”

“You can’t get anyone so you are just trying to open up to everyone.”

“You’re doing it for attention.”

It’s a no, obviously, to all of the above. Now don’t take this as thinking me saying it’s harder on bi/pan/poly people. Not harder, just a little different.

I came out officially as bi at age 13. Went about as well as you think it would in the bible belt. I ended up losing a lot of friends that year.

I came out to my sisters first. They didn’t care. The older sister closest to me in age was okay with it but she wasn’t particularly fond of me talking about actually being with other women. So I guess not that okay with it.

I was afraid to tell my mom. I’ve described her as a “Super Christian” before. It has been that way for quite some time. When I finally did she really surprised me.

“I’ll love you no matter what. Just make sure you use protection.”

Basically my mom gave me permission to have sex at 13 as long as I was safe. (Side note: when I told my mom I lost my virginity at 16 she wasn’t upset, just asked if we used protection) Soon after she actually tried to hook me up with a girl, but she turned out to be bat shit crazy.

I was in middle school at this point, and it didn’t go well.

I legitimately had a girl walk up to me in the lunch room and ask “So you like pussy?” I sort of agreed to it and her reaction was “Ew, gross.” Then why the fuck did you ask?

I lost friends because rumors started going around that I like all these girls. So they wanted nothing to do with me. Told me I was gross.

I was a quiet girl who mostly kept to herself, with just a few friends. People were just nosey and would listen in to conversations.

This went into high school. My freshman year, I was going to take shop class. My first day I was told I “couldn’t make balls” in the class and I immediately dropped out of it. I wasn’t going to deal with that shit.

It finally stopped when I transferred to school due to weird districting, taxes, and living on an acre of land.

I was actually quite a bit more accepted at that school, considering the other districts called it the “prep” school. There were more alternative people there than at my first school.

Finally had my first girlfriend. This is the girl I had choir class with and the first thing she said to me was “what is your sexual orientation?” not hi. We were fast friends and then we started dating. I really liked her. Only broke up because she moved. She was funny, sweet, had an obsession with my boobs and had a Gene Simmons tongue.

After that, my relationship with women have been just about as good as my relationships with men. In the bible belt it tends to be a lot more difficult to find a not straight woman, especially in a small town type area. They usually move to more accepting places, or are severely in the closet.

In relationships with men, I tend to be more submissive (current relationship excluded, it is surprisingly equal) but with women I tend to be a bit more on the dominant side. Not sure the reason for it. Just the way it tends to be.

During my coming out period, I did attempt suicide. Had to get my stomach pumped. I was losing what little friends I had and was being harassed by everyone at my school with no one to turn to. This is also when I had a mentally abusive stepdad at home you hated me because I wasn’t feminine enough. I didn’t act like a girl should. I hated him too so it was pretty even.

I made it past that struggle (obviously, still alive) and I am saddened when I see other’s going through it.

My little brother went through a time of confusion (not sure if he has decided yet, he has a girlfriend) and at first my mom didn’t know how to handle it. Not sure why she reacted differently to him than she did me. Maybe because he is the baby? Not sure. But I stood by his side in support as he tried to figure it out. I wasn’t going to let him go through the same crap I did. I want to break the cycle. My mother, my older sister, and I had all attempted suicide in our lives. I wasn’t going let him join that club.

What Your Supposed to Be

People seem to have this need to put everything in their neat little groups. It helps them stay organized. If they put this in this little group, that’s where it belongs and that means they are/do this, this and this.

That works well with objects, not so much with people.

I’m going to speak from my own personal experience, but I’d love input from people in other “groups” and what they experience.

“Oh you’re a feminist?” that must mean you:

-hate men.

-don’t shave.

-chastise stay at home mothers.

-only care about women’s problems.

-are a “feminazi”.

-blame everything on the “patriarchal society”.

-are a lonely, fat, ugly woman with a  “bob” hair cut (yes I’ve heard a guy say all feminists are lonely, fat, and ugly with butch hair cuts).

-are actually just a lesbian.

-overly sensitive, and will attack someone over anything that could possibly be against a woman.

-will bitch out a guy for doing anything nice for you like opening doors.

-don’t wear a bra.

Oh you’re a heathen?” that must mean you:

-only listen to Viking metal (not necessarily a bad thing), and always wear their shirts.

-only got into it because of Marvel, and want to do Tom Hiddleston or Chris Hemsworth (because I’m a woman).

-are racist.

-just want an excuse to drink and dress like a Viking (my Friday nights are none of your business Mister!).

-are surrounded by misogynist pigs (because I’m a woman I don’t get called one).

-are a hipster that was too cool for Wicca.

-are a blood thirsty, war monger.

-actually worship the devil, whether you know it or not.

-are super open sexually, since your pagan (or a nice way to say I must get around).

-are doing it for attention from/to impress guys (because I’m a female Heathen).

-must fight with other Heathens about how to interpret the lore.

Oh you’re a woman?” that must mean you (not to be confused with the feminist one):

-are weak.

-only want attention.

-freak out when you break a nail.

-talk a lot.

-nag constantly.

-enjoy teasing men.

-hate sex.

-lie about how long it takes to get ready.

-lie about your weight and/or age.

-never genuinely compliment another woman, its a petty stab at her.

-only want men to buy you things.

-only want a rich guy.

“Oh you’re a nerd/geek?” that must mean you:

-are doing it for attention from/to impress guys (because I’m a female nerd/geek).

-have no social life.

-have no friends.

-spend all your time on a computer or playing video games.

-burn in the sunlight (I’m a vampire now? I’ll take it as long as I don’t sparkle).

-like all the nerdy/geeky things like WoW, or D & D.

-have no love life/are a virgin.

-must be easy because most guys wouldn’t want me.

*I’m not going to get into all the media stereotypes.*

“Oh your chubby?” that must mean you:

-are lazy.

-don’t care about your looks.

-eat constantly.

-just sit on your ass all day, everyday.

-are easy because most guys wouldn’t want you.

-are funny because you don’t have the looks (not sure how to feel about this one).

-are jealous of women skinnier than you.

-unhealthy, even when compared to people who are skinny and eat nothing but junk.

There are a lot of other groups I fall into, and frankly I don’t feel like getting into them. I’d say about 99% of these are completely wrong, and the one (well one, the feminist being chubby) has nothing to do with the category that I fall into. Some these are assumptions because I’m in both group A and B (usually in one group plus I’m a woman).

It’s seems usually the loudest of different groups are the ones that help shape our view of what the people in said group are or should be/do. Or are completely shaped by media/society.

Men Can be Abused too

A post I was reading by Lucius, inspired this.

I could tell you how long ago it was, or why but  I had watched this video a long time ago. It was really a video about the double standards in society in regards to domestic abuse, one of those social experiment deals. At first, it showed a couple, the man was yelling and being rough with a woman in a public street was people around watching. Someone called the cops, and a few people started to approach him. Second part of the video. Same couple, different area. This time the woman was yelling and was not just getting rough but had him pinned against a gate for some building and was hitting him. No one said anything, no one did anything, and some people were actually laughing.

I was really sad watching it.

We talk a lot about women dealing with domestic abuse, which we should. That said, we shouldn’t forget about the men. Domestic abuse isn’t always violent. In a lot of cases with women being the abuser, it is emotional/mental, though obviously not always.

It’s part of that societal view that men are supposed to be stronger than women. If a man isn’t, he isn’t really a man and should be abused or chastised. So when a woman is abusing a man, it’s thought of as funny because he is seen as weaker than her.

Just to get this straight. Men don’t have to be stronger than women, and women are not always weak.

This whole thought process makes it so some men believe they actually deserve the abuse. They can’t go to anyone because they would be seen as weak, pathetic, or society’s favorite word, pussy.  Therefore he is lesser and does not deserve respect or help. They don’t feel like they can go to police if it is physical, because “would they really believe me?”.

Complete and utter crap, and not how fellow human beings should be treated.

Personally, I’ve never understood some of these people in relationships. They constantly complain about the person they are with but stay. Me? If I feel like I’m to the point where I’m constantly complaining about that person, I’m leaving. Obviously it isn’t working out for either of us. Fix it, or leave. Complaining gets you no where.

You constantly belittle the person your with? Let them go and find someone better than you.

I’ve also (more recently from experience) find that someone will attack you to cover up their own mistakes. I brought up to a guy that I was upset about something he said. He dismissed it, so I let it go. Almost the exact same thing happened, so I was more persistent. He tried to dismiss it and when that didn’t work, he turned around and attacked me. He started calling me a liar, and bullshitter because I went to my best friend’s birthday party and there were guys there. Mind you, not my friends, her’s. One of them is her ex I hate, then his friend that’s engaged, another that will hit on anything that breathes, and another one was 19. Yup lovely bunch of men. Not to mention the fact that I had no idea who was going to be there because it was not my party.

The argument went on for two days, and became about what he was upset about instead of the original problem. Then I told him I was done. At first he tried to be sweet and tell me he just wanted me, when I didn’t go for it, he went with another tactic. He started telling me I just wanted to get rid of him and this and that. At first when he did that I argued. Then after a couple times of this I finally said no, I’m done. I deleted him and blocked him from everything so he couldn’t contact me or find out what I was doing.

My policy is, the first time, I’ll let it go. Second time, needs to be fixed or I’m leaving.

I don’t belittle and I don’t complain to others.

Went off on a bit of a tangent there. The abuse of men is something that needs to seriously be looked at.

Slut Shaming

So I found out this morning that my 11 year old niece is being called a slut by here classmates.

Seriously?

She is 11!

Just really ticks me off. Not only because she is my niece (which is a big part of it) but because slut shaming is starting so young.

My niece, just like me, developed early. For some reason that makes you perfect for bullying, especially from other girls. Like there is some kind of assumption that you have control over your own body and you wanted to develop before anyone else so you could get all the boys’ attention.

This is something so rampant in today’s society and it’s pretty obvious why. It’s a Christian concept.

I was on Facebook the other day, and on my news feed there was this article called “Spirit Husbands”. I thought well that makes sense, lets read this!

It was a Christian article, telling women that sex toys, porn, and masturbation are keeping God from finding them a good husband. That this behavior attracts some sort of sexual demon that attaches to you. So throw away all your sex toys, porn, and clear your thoughts of anything sexual!

Ugh!

I started reading the comments, and I was a little proud (though some pissed me off). There were a lot of women complaining about this being directed only towards women. There were some women agreeing with this, and every man that commented was agreeing.

It’s a pretty old way of thinking. Women’s sexuality is demonized (in this case quite literally) but male sexuality is perfectly normal and more so, expected.

A woman that can pleasure herself, doesn’t need a man to do so. Therefore, she has power over her own body. We can’t have that!

*I interrupt this rant with a disclaimer: Obviously men are not just good for sexual purposes, a good man can offer good companionship and someone who can fight by your side. This rant is about sexuality, so that is what I’m going to be talking about here*

Sexuality is supposed to be a male thing. If it’s masculine that means there is power behind it. Power women are not supposed to have.

Society is very slowly becoming more sex positive but it is slow goings.

People don’t seem to realize that this view point causes harm to men too.

That men are seen as purely sexual creatures, means that any time they are sexually assaulted or raped it is shrugged off. “Men love sex, how could they not enjoy that?”

Hate to break it to y’all, but men don’t always want sex. Hel, there are some men who identify as asexual.

Men are allowed to not want sex, just as much as women are allowed to want it.

This stupid shit needs to stop.

Per usual, I feel like this post was a little scattered, so I hope everyone can follow my crazy train of thought.

What Really Grinds My Gears

Let me start out with this.

Heathen’s tend to be accused of many things. One of them is being a bunch of misogynists. I believe the reason for this is that you will find a lot of Heathen’s are men. It seems a lot of pagan women are a lot more interested in Wicca. The main deity is the Goddess so I can kind of understand, especially when you compare that to a religion that seems to be most known for battle, and drinking mead (so very not true, but if you look at Heathen stuff, that’s a lot of what you will find in the mainstream).

Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some pigs in the religions, but frankly you find them everywhere. It is definitely not heathen specific.

If you go back in history though, the Norse were actually really ahead of their time in the treatment of women. They had a goddess of war (my dear Freya), women were allowed to own property. They were in charge of the home, because they took care of it.

Fact is, that if there are sexist heathens, it’s because of today’s society, not the religion.

 

Now getting to my point.

On Facebook, I have a lot of heathen related pages that I follow. A lot of it is good stuff. Then I come across a lot of pictures of women in armor. You think “what’s the big deal?” The big deal is the type of armor they are fucking in. They are basically metal bikinis. Pretty similar to what you would find in rpg’s and really any video game that is set in a time or place where they wear armor and you have the options of playing a woman.

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I’m sure you do!

There are a few pages that will every once in a while have pictures up of women in actual armor, and the comments are always awesome. But those pictures are few and far between.

I also come across a lot of pictures of topless women, holding their breasts to cover them, with a Mjolnir pendant sitting right in between them. And the comments are always ridiculous.

This, my friends, is why people think heathens are sexist pigs.

And it really fucking pisses me off.

You’re probably thinking “Silver, why don’t you just unfollow those pages?” Because they have a lot of good stuff, and tend to actually post some really good information. It’s not like I’m reporting any of the pictures (as a matter of fact I don’t think I’ve ever reported a picture on Facebook). I just usually ignore pictures I don’t like. I just get pissed off seeing this shit over, and over, and over, and over again.

End of rant.

 

More Feminist Stuff Part 3 – Celebrity Bodies

Another installment of feminist rant based on some crap I came across on Facebook.

I was scrolling through my news feed today and came across a post “Celebrities that put on weight” with a picture of Jessica Simpson when she was younger and skinnier next to a picture of her after she had her children.

This a phenomenon that seriously needs to fucking stop.

For some reason when people attain celebrity status we seem to think they become public property. It happens more with the women but men get some slack for gaining weight or losing muscle too.

Last time I checked, they were still human.

People will say, “Well they are the ones that put themselves in the public eye!” Umm, it’s their job. Technically you put yourself in the public eye as soon as you walk out of your house but you wouldn’t appreciate if people with cameras came running up to you saying “ [insert your name] did you put on a few pounds? Are you letting yourself go? Are you just pregnant?” No, you wouldn’t.

Yes they put themselves out there more than most people but it’s because what they want to do kind of puts them in that position, meaning being in movies automatically puts you in the public eye. Now this doesn’t include those famous for being famous like Ms. Kim Kardashian (do not get me started on her) more like the types like Angelina Jolie. There is also the case of musicians, to be successful they really do have to get famous, or they very well may struggle to support themselves on their passion alone.

This all said, in general, I feel like people have no right to comment on the body of other people (unless in a positive way because compliments are always nice) because that is their body and they can do what the fuck they want with it. This doesn’t change simply because they are famous.

For some reason when a female becomes famous her body becomes almost like public property for any Joe Shmoe to say whatever the hell he wants to about it. Now, when it comes to those nudes that get leaked? Well that is a different thing. The whole “its sexual assault to look at them thing” is crap. I’m sorry but the only offender is the person who spread those particular pictures. In the age of social media and really the internet, celebrities are not the only ones have their nudes leaked and spread without their permission. I’m not trying to say it’s not wrong, because that is not only a severe violation of privacy but it also takes away the right to pick and choose who gets to see your body, whether you are female, male, or anything between or outside of those.

In my opinion, celebrities have the right to their own private lives. Now if they choose to share their private lives with the media that is their deal (ie reality shows, or selling pictures of your child to magazines).

This whole attitude, though, really contributes to the fat-phobic culture that has developed here. It’s also caused by the borderline worship of celebrities in today’s culture. They are almost gods, and if they fall short of that divine view, well then they deserve to be ridiculed as their punishment.

I believe I’ve said this before, but seriously people. Mind your own business.

 Worry about your own damn body, not some stranger’s. Let’s face it no matter how much people like to think they “know” these celebrities, unless you have actually met them and spent time with them, you don’t actually know them. Sorry.