Family isn’t always right

This has a slight connection to this post (only slight).

So in the Heathen/Asatru faith, it is very family centric traditionally. It makes a lot of sense if you look in the context of the times of our ancestors. You family was the most important thing. Period. Family, and sometimes your land/crops and livestock was really all you had. You needed children to pass down your possessions and your name down to, more specifically to sons. The daughter was mostly a tool, a way usually to bring some sort of wealth to the family, or to tie families together. Not pretty, but thems the ropes. Now the Norse were a bit more progressive in the way that women could inherit land and could get a divorce from an abusive or even cheating husband. But family was top priority. That need to reproduce and continue your line. The land, crops and livestock? Well that was to sustain your family and yourself. Family was top.

Now jump forward to modern followers of the Northern Path.

We are attempting to place that same though process to modern families. Doesn’t exactly work.

For those of us that are younger and don’t have a family of our own? Most of our families are Christian, or at least don’t follow the same path and will definitely not understand it. To the point where we can’t even talk to our family about our beliefs, experiences, or practices. And when we do, the reactions tend not to be ideal. In my own situation my parents don’t know my actual path but believe that I’m pagan, and they have been on a crusade ever since they kind of figured this out.

For those of us with families? Because our numbers are still small compared to the larger population or even just of the population of what I’ll just call non-pagans. A lot of us marry someone who doesn’t share our beliefs, and doesn’t want us to “push” them on the children. So that doesn’t work out for the best either.

We live in very self absorbed, selfish times. Most people don’t know their neighbors and don’t care to. We care about ourselves and how we can get further in life. I’m not saying parents don’t take care of their kids. Of course (lets be honest, most) they do, but it isn’t the same. I know in my family, the kids sit in the living room watching TV while the parents are in their bedroom watching TV. There is no family time, except on the rare occasion that we have dinner together.

There is also the people who don’t want kids. Which I find perfectly acceptable. We are over populated.

Some of us have to deal with a family that treats us like shit. Why? It all boils down to being self absorbed.

Family isn’t what it used to be, and frankly it’s really sad.

I can’t get my family to change, but when I have kids of my own I plan on ending the cycle with them. Why shall I begin. My niece that is on the way. I won’t instill my religious beliefs in her, but hopefully I can instill my views on what family should be in her.

You have to start some where, and sometimes there is no hope for some people.

You don’t have to deal with bullshit  from someone because you share blood.

You have ever right to cut toxic people out of your life. Family or not, anyone can be toxic.

Don’t feel that you owe them anything, because you don’t.

And that really applies to everyone, not just those that are Heathen/North pagans or what have you.

Just remember, they decided to treat you that way. So the consequences are fully on them.

I bitch about my sister, but she isn’t all bad all the time. She doesn’t really treat me like shit either. She uses me sometimes but that is on me for letting her do so for so long. I have put my foot down now though.

Man, I’m really bad about bouncing around.

Any who

Until next time loves.

If you’re going to do it, do it

If you can’t tell by the title, this one is going to be a rant so feel free to ignore this.

What inspired this? My older sister.

My sister can’t ever make up her mind what she is doing and what she believes and it is frustrating to all fucking Helheim.

 She comes to me sometimes with questions. Questions about pagan religions in general as well as my own. These questions I really don’t mind and answer honestly as long as I know the answer. That stuff doesn’t bother me.

Little turn now, but I promise it is related.

She is pregnant with her first child. She is going to have a girl. Her name is something my sister got from me. It was the name of a character I was writing a story around (though said character was a dominant lesbian, but she doesn’t know that. that character was pretty awesome). She doesn’t really like admitting she got that name from me, which pisses me off. She saw the name of the character and even told me she liked it and will use it! But I digress.

This child is going to be the first of the grandchildren and actually the first of the great grandchildren now that I think about it. She is going to be spoiled, and I am most certainly not helping.

Now here is how that is related.

My sister has been asking me about getting my future niece Viking/Norse stuff. This is the same sister that is constantly on Facebook talking about “please pray for me” for blah blah blah reason. The same sister that told my younger brother (Kemetic) that his religion has caused a lot of pain. Really?

You really don’t get to pick and choose your shit.

My younger brother, when he first started getting into Wicca (he is Kemetic now, I swear Wicca is the pagan gateway religion) he talked about doing Christian Wicca.

Yea, no.

Here is the deal. Getting involved with Gods from different religions, I totally understand (I don’t personally do it but it’s more of a I haven’t connected to any other pantheons thing). That said the beliefs in Christianity are very strictly against worshiping any other Gods. Period. No if ands or buts about it. You can’t mix Christianity with any other religions. Like being a Christian witch. Yea, Christianity is also very strictly against witchcraft as well, so no on that too.

Here is where my point lies. You really can’t jump back and forth at your convenience. You really have to choose one or the other, or your really not doing either.

This really applies to just about everything worth doing. You either do it or don’t. Or you end up being a flaky little shit who is not doing anyone any good, including yourself.

Commit yourself.

Be passionate about it.

Just do it.

That is really the only way you will be able to get anywhere with it. The only way you can grow in your beliefs, or grow as a person.

Jumping back and forth will really just put you in a stalemate where you will never progress.

This ended up being kind of all over the place and rambly.

In other news I will attempt to do my post about Frey today. Depends if it gets too busy or not.

Either way, until next time my loves!

Dance Magic, Dance

So, Friday night, as I said I did my Profession.

During it was very serious and solemn.

After? Not so much.

After it was done I got applause which made me feel pretty awkward to say the least.

Now during it I had my iHeart Radio app going on the Ride of the Valkyries channel (if you don’t know what iHeart Radio is it’s like Pandora, but you chose a band or song and then they base a channel off that and play music similar to that) playing softly in the background. After the applause? Magic Dance from the Labyrinth started playing. Not exactly related and at first I couldn’t help but laugh.

If you aren’t sure which song that is, here’s a hint:

You remind me of the babe.

What babe?

The babe with the power.

What power?

The power of voodoo.

Who do?

You do?

Do what?

Remind me of the babe.

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The only time I have ever found David Bowie attractive. I don’t know what it is about this movie but, mmmmm.

If you haven’t seen The Labyrinth, how dare you, go watch it right meow! You will thank me later.

Any who, when it first came on I just started laughing. Freya wasn’t having any of that. So I ended up dancing with Freya, Thor (which is hilarious to watch), Frigga, and Frey got in on the action too while Loki stood to the side violently playing air guitar. I was laughing the whole time. I got a resounding howl from the Wolf tribe. They have been made aware of my intention to start work with them.

After the song was over Thor took my face in his hands and looked me right in the eyes, “Everything is going to change.”

Well then.

This was all done under the dark moonless sky. To say the least it was a bit sad that Mani couldn’t attend, but with the new moon it is when his connection is the weakest.

Side note

So a little side note that I forgot to add to my last post.

I’m mentioning this because of the whole thing about my brother-in-law calling my younger brother (and myself by the way, but he was a lot more bothered by it than me) crazy for having the kind of relationship with Them that we do.

I explained to him talking to someone who hasn’t experienced this kind of stuff is really difficult (especially if its a tool like my brother-in-law) and most people will think you crazy.

My thought process is there is enough of us out there, and we can’t all be crazy.

So, as someone who has a very close relationship with Them, and sees at least one of Them on a daily basis, I encourage anyone who is in the same boat to contact me if they need someone to talk to.

*Disclaimer*

I am not a trained therapist.

I am not a medical physician/doctor.

I cannot and will not give advise on medication or anything medically related.

That said, I will listen if you want someone to just talk about it. In normal every day life matters, or religion type related things, if asked, I will offer advise if I have any to give.

Feel free to email me at wolfmoonchild09 at gmail dot com.  3

If I don’t reply right away, give me some time. I try to check my email everyday. If we have gone through a conversation and I stop answering it is most likely that I didn’t really have anything to say. I don’t like to say something meaningless just to say something.

We are the future Ancestors

“I respect traditional people – they have the eyes which see value in the tarnished. This is a gift in itself. Tradition requires a wealth of discipline in order to be adhered to, hence it is rarely found in youth.”
Criss Jami

So when I get on here everyday, the first thing I do is look at the blogs I follow and catch up on their new posts. Sometimes I get some good inspiration. I went over the Stormwise Raven’s and something really popped out at me.

He was commenting on a post about the hate mail that is being sent over to the new Heathen temple in Reykjavik about their acceptance of same sex marriage. That is not something I’m going to comment on because frankly, I’ll just end up making myself angry. What I am going to get into is the little snippet “those who will come to call us ‘ancestors’ in the future“. Really got me thinking.

As Heathen we believe in honoring our ancestors, its really integral to the path. But I don’t know how many of us think about being ancestors that are worth honoring. I know I haven’t thought about it much.

Sure most of think about being good parents if you have kids or are having kids. Some probably about being good grandparents (mostly those that already have kids, especially ones older in age) but what about great grandkids that you might not ever see, or great great grandkids. What kind of legacy will you leave for them.

It is something a little hard to actually wrap your brain around, trying to predict the impression that you will leave on people you haven’t met and don’t know anyone that has met you. They would have to go based on stories that are passed down, or even lack there of. They may never end up having an opinion of you or hear of you. The child might find out about you because of a school project where they have to make a family tree.

You can try to take actions now. You can try to pass your beliefs on and make them family tradition (if it isn’t already). You can push the importance of family and remember your ancestors. You can try to do great things that will leave impressions in the family. There is simply no promise of being remembered.

I don’t have children of my own (yet). Not so much worried about being honored, but for those who will know me and remember me, I would like to be remembered as doing good for my family. I will concentrate more on making sure my mother is remembered, my father, my grandmother and grandfather. There is only so much you can do, but you can affect the generations that come about during your lifetime.

Who is that Mani guy anyway?

I know I haven’t really posted much of my own writings lately. I’ve delved in my research mode.

It started with researching on Fenrir (jury is still out on possibly working with him, but he seems to every be on the edge, sort of waiting/prowling). Then some reading inspired me to start looking more at Huginn and Muninn. Just out of curiosity to see what is out there about Odin’s dynamic duo.

Then someone that has been touching my life since I was a child, Mani.

I’ve had a love for the moon for as long as I can remember. Before the current job I have I was very much a night owl. Kind of makes sense if you consider my zodiac sign is Cancer, which is ruled by the moon. My energy levels tend to flow like tides with His phases. The names that I have chosen for myself also coincide with him and my wolf nature. The original name, Varg Månen, Swedish for Wolf Moon. Silver Wolf became the easier nickname I picked up, Silver referring to my connection with the moon.

It was really one of the reasons that pagan religions drew me in. I had such a love for the moon that a deity being associated with it made more sense to me that just some dead rock floating out there. Not with that kind of beauty.

not a picture of Mani obviously, I just think it is cool.
not a picture of Mani obviously, I just think it is cool.

As with all non-mainstream Gods, there isn’t too much information out there. I’m still in the process of searching ,but not much outside of the small bit we have about Mani and his sister Sunna (or sometimes Sol).

There seems to be some disputing accounts on how Mani and Sunna got their jobs in the first place.

Some say that Mani and Sunna got their job with the making of Cosmos, as if it is their rightful place there. Others say they where forced. In the later version their father,  Mundilfari, (the “Time Turner” or “the one moving according to particular times” in the first version I mentioned) has a daughter and a son. They are so beautiful that he names them after the Sun and Moon, respectively. The Gods were so outraged by the audacity of the human, that they took the children and forced them to pull the Sun and Moon through the sky of chariots. To be forced to pull them while they are chased, until they are both finally eaten at the start of Ragnarok. Mani chased by Hati (“hate”) and Sunna by Skoll (“treachery”), both the sons of Fenrir.

Another little story involving Mani, is him taking two children. Their names are Hjuki and Bil, thought to be the origin of Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. From my understanding , they were children that were mistreated by their father,Vidfinn. He found them by a well, playing with the reflection of the moon on the surface of the water.

And that is about all we know. The rest tends to be UPG.

I had read somewhere, and it was long time ago so I don’t remember where, that Sunna and Mani have differing relationships with their canine pursuers. Sunna actually enjoys Skoll chasing her. She treats it like a game, a race. Mani, however, finds Hati to be nuisance. He has a certain love for humanity. He likes to stop and watch, or to make the occasional trip down to Midgard to help someone.

I’ve decided I want to try to touch base with him, at least some what. But, before I attempt anything I like to try to research up on the deity first. That is, if they don’t bust the door down and make themselves at home first

*ahem* Thor *ahem* Freya

I’ve done the slightest whisper of reaching out to him, just to kind of get a feel for his energy. I sort of feel like what you thing it would. It’s very soft, with a touch of mystery, yearning, a certain sensuality, and undertones of sadness. Very complicated.

I’m off to more research, so there is a good chance it will kind of go back to being fairly quiet here. But I will do my best to stay in touch.

How I See the Gods

One of the issues I tend to have when trying to find devotional pieces, like statues, is finding ones that fit Them as I see them. I believe everyone sees Them differently because They choose how They look to each person, also everyone’s “vision” is slightly different.

I’ve been trying to find a statue of Thor that I like, and it just seems that it can’t be done.

So I’m going to give you a little view on how I see them. I found images as close to the way I see Them as possible. I really wish I was better at drawing so I could get it more exactly, but I can’t draw people. I can draw anime women, and I’m not the best at that either.

Here we go!

Thor:

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This is the closest image I can find to how he appears to me. Very rugged almost biker type. Maybe he knows that's my type?

Why is every image of Thor so stern? This is the closest I can come to how I see Him. Usually he is pretty happy and has a very warm energy about him.

Freya:

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with golden blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes

This is pretty close, though I never see her with her hair pulled back. This is from an artist I found on etsy. I will probably end up buying this particular piece. Again, usually a smile on her face with a warm energy.

Frigga:

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Frigga has a soft kind of energy, almost like someone placing a blanket on you when you fall asleep on the couch. I usually see her with light brown, or darker blonde hair.

Odin:

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Odin is definitely a harder one to find. He is almost always depicted as a Gandalf the Grey type. Always very much older with grey or white hair. Not exactly how I see him. This is the closest I could ever find to how I see the Allfather. This is from the Gods of Asgard graphic novel by Erik Evensen. I actually own this, it’s pretty cool. Worth checking out if you haven’t already. Pretty good price on Amazon. His energy seems to be pretty blocked off, he mostly likes to observe and creep about with me at least. It’s kind of hard to describe.

Skadi:

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She was even more difficult to find. I don’t see her with blue skin or red eyes. I see her more as very pale with bluish grey eyes. The white hair is fitting and this is pretty similar to the way I see her hair. Either something like this or in just a simple French style braid, but it is white. Also thin out her lips a bit, and he expression is usually on the stern side. The bone structure is pretty similar though. Typically dawning a cloak. Her energy is very much on the cold side, and feels kind of distant. I spent at least an hour trying to find something. Ugh.

Loki:

Loki selfie with the Allfather. I just cant.
Loki selfie with the Allfather. I just cant.

I don’t have too many interactions with Loki, but this is the closest I could find what I see. Round out the chin a bit. The energy is actually warm but it always has the feeling of something hidden underneath. Probably because he is planning something. I don’t hate the guy but he can be a real pain in the ass. And I can kind of see him doing this.

Fenrir:

Fenrir_wolf_Fenris_wolf

Fenrir is the interesting one. I never “saw” him. He kind of did a metaphorical knock on my door. This picture is kind of the best imagery to go along with the wave of energy that came in when I agreed to let him through. Seriously scared me. He was polite enough though. I may give him a change again later, but he will kind of have to work with me a bit.

Other stuff I found:

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Hel art. I wanted to share it simply because I think it is absolutely beautiful. Personally, though, I’ve never done any work with Hel.

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Two others I came across on the search for pictures. The first one I wanted to post because I find it very sweet. Second one is because the little part on the bottom. Chibi Loki on chibi Thor’s shoulders screaming “Onward Thor!” was too funny. Thor was not amused but Freya and I got a good laugh out of it.

So there you have it folks! This, again, is just what I see/feel. Please share your experience!

Plans and old habits

So I’m planning on delving more into runes, and writing more on my story.

Like I said, plans. I’ve said before I have a bad ADD thing going on so we will see how long that lasts.

I’ve dipped into runes quite a few times, so it’s not something really new to me. I really wanted to take the time to learn more about the religion it’s self (which I’m really not done doing) before actually getting into the runes, which can really be it’s own bag of fun.

They say Asatru is the religion of homework. Pretty accurate. Works for the nerdy type like me that really just likes to do research and learn more.  Personally, I feel like people who aren’t always learning must have boring lives. But that is simply my opinion.

So might be posting some stuffs about runes.

In other news, my relationship with Freya seems to be getting stronger and stronger. Skadi has all but disappeared from my life, not sure why. Thinking it might have something to do with Freya taking a bigger part. This stronger relationship with Freya has brought on some rather interesting things.

Thor is still just chilling out, always more active on Thursdays, especially since it’s spring time now and we have been getting some thunderstorms. I love when it rains at night. I sleep like a baby.

Remember that post I put up about that Alpha wolf? Fen? Yea, he’s back in my life. He seems to have made some changes (not going to hold my breath) so I’m allowing him to stick around for the time being. He really is a sweet guy, but he has some…well…issues. He’s been telling me he loves me lately. Not sure what to do with that. Just kind of leaving it as is. I’m allowing him back in as a friend for the time being and won’t let him be anymore than that. It’s the whole too many broken promises deal, and he will have to work to make up for that. I don’t take broken promises lightly. I giving him the chance to actually hold to said promises.

We shall see what happens.

I’m Not Crazy. I swear!

This is the predicament that I have been thinking about for quite some time, after getting back into the dating scene.

For quite some time, after my relationship, I swore off dating. I was just content to chill out with just my friends and work on getting my life situated in a way that was best for me. During this time is when Thor came to me, and all this mess entered my life (not complaining). Then the whole situation with J (which was more me apparently imagining things) happened and went to shit, and was getting content with being alone again.

Then the couple entered my life and now I got them out of my life. Now what?

Here’s the deal.

While I was down in Texas for my grandfather’s funeral, my sister and I decided to go around and chat up some of her old friends. I was just born down there, she actually grew up there. One of her old friends was a guy that we hung out with.

Pretty much the whole time we were hanging out, he was hitting on me. Not exactly something I’m used to. I didn’t think much of it though. He was down in Texas, was never going to see him again.

About a week ago, he added me on Facebook.

Unexpected, but still didn’t think much of it.

Then he started messaging me.

His attitude made a complete 180. He told me I apparently grabbed his interest. He is even talking about coming up here from Texas. Not sure how I feel about that. I keep telling him not the best idea, because I certainly won’t promise him anything. Don’t want him to come all this way for nothing.

This all really brings up the issue of explaining my religion to him. He is already aware that I’m pagan but haven’t really delved too much deeper into it.

It’s really hard to explain to someone who isn’t pagan (and sometimes even other pagans) that “hey, I not only have actual conversations with my Gods, but They like to visit me and hang out!” and not sound crazy.

I’m not really expecting anything to come out of this thing with my sister’s friend, but it does bring up something that will eventually need to be dealt with.

I am in an interesting spot. A lot of other people with this particular problem (at least from what I’ve seen) are mostly Godspouces that have no interest in having a mortal partner. I haven’t seen anyone else with this problem, but they obviously have to be out there.

At the moment, it almost seems like either sound crazy or try to find someone that shares your particular beliefs. Both aren’t particularly hopeful.

When I first was starting to get interesting in the Norse path, I was watching videos by this guy that was a heathen, but his beliefs differ from mine.

There are a lot of different versions of Asatru.

Some believe that They are actual Gods.

Some that They are more like spirits of nature (not sure how that works out exactly).

And some that believe that They are spirits of our ancestors.

So even within the one religion, there are many beliefs. Even for those that believe They are actual Gods may not necessarily believe that they make contact in the manner that I believe and could still think me as crazy.

Just tricky.