Spaz Moment

I promise I am planning on putting up a actual content post soon (at latest Friday), but I had to share this!

Just found out there is a book on Mani.

It is written by Galina Krasskova, who is one of the few I have found that talks about my beloved (in a sort of guardian/paternal way) Mani.

The second I saw it I ordered.

Here is the link.

I just found it, and just ordered it so no thoughts on it yet obviously. I will probably do a review once received and read.

Basically when I came across it the reaction was “What?! How did I not know about this?!

Super excited to get this.

On another note, I also just  got a necklace of Freya (which I will most likely post pictures of later) and have a Freya statue on the way. Funny thing about the necklace, wasn’t expecting it to come until this week but it ended up showing last Friday (aka Freya’s Day)! And the statue? Expected delivery date is this Friday.

Wow.

That is all for the moment. Had to share the spazziness as well as let anyone else interested know about this book. I happened upon it while looking up stuff for my altar for Him.

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Lightning – My symbol

Lightning – My symbol

The relationship that I have with Thor tends to be symbolized by lightning.

Being the person I am a figured, “well, lets look up stuff about it!”

Lightning is a pretty regular occurrence in the natural world so it really isn’t that big of a shock that it would show up in a lot of cultures with some pretty heavy symbolism. Lightning tends to be a grand show that inspires different reactions from different people. Personally I love it. I love rain and storms (though not when I’m driving), and the light flashing through a dark cloudy sky is absolutely beautiful.

The Celts would establish sacred spaces wherever they witness lightning struck.

If a clansman or clanswoman got struck by lightning, edict states that they would be forever endowed with the power of the divine whether they lived or died.

In Native American tribes (Sioux, Arapaho, Wichita, Ojibwe, and Salish being among some of them) lightning is closely  aligned with the Thunderbird. The Thunderbird having association with honesty, truth and morality. The creature emits lightning bolts from his eyes to strike down those who misguide, milead, or withhold the truth.

The Chinese designated lightning as a symbol of fertility because of it’s affiliation with rain.

That particular tidbit makes me think of The Lay of Thrym (you know the one where Thor dresses up as Freya?) the myth that many site as giving Thor a fertility aspect.

The Greek association with lightning is fairly obvious being the head of their pantheon wields it as a weapon. To them the symbolic meaning of lightning is not only strength but as well as intellect. A symbol of intuition and spiritual illumination. This concept deals with the union of fire and water, opposite elements joining together to create a phenomenal interaction. Interestingly enough fire and water coming together has some pretty strong meaning to me. My sun sign is Cancer, a water sign, and my moon sign is actually Leo, a fire sign.

Lightening often precedes rain, therefore it is associated with water. When viewed in this manner, Lightening is the supernatural force from above which destroys, cleans out, and purges whatever is old. If you have been watching, this is really fitting for me in the stage that I’m on in my path.

Looking at the spiritual meaning/symbolism behind lighting I keep seeing “lightning and spiritual illumination” over and over again.

So yea, relevant stuff.

Thor asked me a little while ago to get fulgurite. Just bought one online today so just have to wait for it to come in.

For those of you that are unfamiliar, fulgurite is the byproduct of lightning hitting sand. It creates a natural glass tube.

The names comes from the Latin Fulgur which means lightning but sometimes it’s just called fossilized lightning.

These stones embody the powerful energy of lightning within them that was infused into the stone at the time of the event which caused their creation. This energy makes Fulgurite stones powerful manifestation tools and can create transformation on a massive scale.

Fulgurite has shown to help one to experience major breakthroughs when kept close and to release habitual patterns that no longer serve us.

It opens and clears the psychic and intuitive senses, encourages our sense of creativity and inner power, and allows for assistance with divine prophecy.

This is a particularly beneficial stone for healers, teachers, psychics and channelers as well as others who need to accurately relay information and guidance from the higher realm.

This was a very informational type post, but there really seems to be some planning going on on Thor’s part.

Until next time my loves.

Hail Thor on His day.

Tarot Personalities

I’ve started becoming a collector of tarot decks. When you do this and spend time with each deck you start to learn that each deck has it’s own personality, and some will be more cooperative than others.

So let me go over what I have!

***

So the first deck I ever got was the Ghosts and Spirits Tarot.

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It was gifted to me by my second oldest sister (the one that initially introduced me to pagan religions and taught me how, sort of, to do tarot readings) when I went up to visit them in Montana. There was a psychic fair going on. It was super small but there was some nifty stuff. My sister already knew at that point that I wanted to learn. They had a few decks, though most were oracle decks, and I really liked this one. So she got it for me. She had the belief that it is unlucky to buy your own decks, which I have found personally untrue.

It has really beautiful artwork in it that is very much on the dark side. That is really the best way to describe the deck, dark. That fit me at the time of receiving this deck (I want to say a couple years ago now) but not anymore. Each card has a story attached to it, one from folk lore from different parts of the world which makes the deck very interesting. But the energy just doesn’t really fit me anymore so I have only touched it once in the last year or so.

It has now requested to be wrapped in red velvet and tied with a black ribbon since I feel it disrespectful to just toss it.

***

The next deck I got was Tarot Illuminati.

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I bought this one for myself at the only local metaphysical shop that I know of around where I live. When I first saw it I felt like my heart was just going to jump right out of my chest, so obviously I had no choice but to buy the deck.

I love the imagery in it, you really have to look at the cards because every single one has a lot of symbolism to it. Each different suit has inspiration from different eras/cultures. A lot of the minor arcana have more detailed stories to them what you normally find associated with the minor ones.

This deck is very straight forward and won’t just tell you what you want to hear. Sometimes when you try to consult it about one issue it will actually delve in and find something you have pushed back that needs to be addressed instead of what you asked. This is the one I go to when I really need true clarity.

***

The next deck I got was the Mystic Faerie tarot.

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This is the most recent tarot deck I purchased. Got this one at the same store as the Tarot Illuminati. When I happened upon this deck what I got was a call, so I grabbed.

I enjoy the imagery in this one as well (I tend to be pretty visual). The fae of the major arcana really have their own very distinctive personalities and they have little background stories. The handy thing on this one is for the major arcana there are basically the gist of the meaning of the cards listed at the back of the book.

This deck tends to be very mischievous (like fae) and can be very vague which tends to cause me to turn to the Tarot Illuminati for clarity but it is still helpful. It’s fun to work with and I really do love it.

I keep a small rose quartz stone with the deck in the gossamer bag that came with it.

I have decided that I need to start consulting my cards each day as part of the changes I am trying to make to better myself. This will start after I do a good clean out in my room and of my altar, which I have now been told repeatedly to do. I’m going to completely reorganize and probably get rid of some stuff, a sort of early spring cleaning. I’m really going to try to get it done this weekend. Last weekend I planned on it but I ended up getting my time snatched up by different people. Not necessarily a bad thing considering I didn’t get to see other people much while I was still with my ex.

The Vision

So in the last post I mention the seer of the kindred I am in the process of joining had a vision about me. I’m not going to go over it word for word.

This is going to be super long so I’m putting it behind a read more line. It gets sort of personal so that makes it easy for uninterested parties to just skip.

Continue reading “The Vision”

Ch-ch-changes

So to give everyone a heads up, I’m going to be making a lot of changes here.

There are reasons for this and I will share, but that will most likely be after all the changes are made on here.

Just a few updates for the moment.

I am single again, and the ex and has been going a little crazy on me. I wasn’t planning on breaking up with him yet but he had decided to start an argument with me and tried to blame the kindred for me changing. If the kindred is responsible for any changes in me, they are changes for the better and I will not apologize for that.

Speaking of the kindred, it has been going very well with them. They have made me feel welcome from day one. We had a ritual for Freyr and one for the Disir. I will expand on those in a more detailed post about the goings on there. All good things!

The seer for the kindred (who apparently chose to stay anonymous to keep things from getting awkward) had a vision about me. The chieftain’s wife (who is really becoming one of my favoritest people) forwarded it to me. Really freaked me out that that she knew it was about me because there was a lot of stuff in there that was super personal, that no one really knows.

There will be a separate post on that as well. That vision is really what has started prompting these changes.

At this point just touching base a little bit.

More to come.

Until next time my loves.

And keep Thor in Thorsday!

Strength

I know I have really quite for awhile. There has been quite a bit going on.

Heads up, UPG ahead!

The end of 2015 and going into 2016 was rough. Got sick twice (and I never get sick), it flooded enough where I couldn’t go home for a full week, and money troubles (from missing work because of being sick). With the flooding I wasn’t able to go home even to get the necessities. Stuck in a hotel with the family for a week with nothing. Had to buy a couple pieces of clothing and toiletries so that also didn’t help with my money situation. Things are finally starting to calm down.

I whined about all this shit happening to Thor. He chuckled and told me “You can’t form steel into a sword without a lot of heat”. Great. Thanks. So most likely more bullshit to come.

Spiritually has been interesting too. Frankly, I really didn’t want to post anything about it at first, but I decided “fuck it”. What better day to post this than on Thor’s day?

My relationship with Fenrir is just about nothing at this point. It hurts having him gone but it made way for something much bigger.

I had made a decision at the beginning of all this that I didn’t want to be a Godspouse. Yea, He obviously had different plans.

So during this whole ordeal it became official. There was a bit of an argument between Freya and Thor concerning Her plans for me. She has been pouting for a little while now.

When this all began I made an agreement with Thor to wear red for him every Thursday, His day. It’s something small, but it is what he asked of me. I also burn the incense I have picked out for him every Thursday night.

The other night he requested whiskey. He wants me to keep a small cup or shot glass of it on my alter and take a shot with him once a week (I’m not much of a drinker, I know uncommon for a Heathen). With Him it is always the small things.

Lightning and keys have become important symbols of our ever growing relationship.

I sleep with him every night now instead of only Thursday nights. Everything used to always happen on Thursdays now that I think about it.

I’ve also had to learn some things about myself.

I used to always think I was a bit cynical and almost bitter when it comes to anything most would deem romantic. I claimed it as a part of myself and often used it as a shield to protect myself from getting hurt.

I’ve been shown that isn’t entirely true. What I thought was just a part of me was a wall that I had built to protect myself. Something that I had created, not something that was just a part of me. Poking at that wall actually hurts, and may be the end of my current relationship with my boyfriend.

I figured out that is the true reason behind my unhappiness with him. There is no romance. We act just like friends who happen to have sex. I’m the one who always decides what we do, there are never any surprises. It isn’t for lack of trying on part, but anytime I try to get him to make a decision I just get “I don’t know”. Thor has started to push for me to break things off too.

Strength is the name of the game now that things are more official.

Strength isn’t just physical, but mental/emotional.

Sure He is pushing for me to build up my physical strength, but that is a piece of cake compared to emotional strength.

 Strength is many things, and sometimes it could even mean being strong enough to push aside your pride and ask for help when it is needed. It is also being able to stand on your own two feet and not expecting things to be done for you.

I’ve always been very good at false strength. Making it seem like to the outside world that I’m this sort of powerful woman, Hel I’ve been told countless times I’m intimidating (something I struggle to believe).

Since our marriage (yea that is scary saying out loud, well typing) he has been swinging his hammer about, violently breaking down my walls and really breaking me down.

Not going to lie, it definitely has not been a fun ride.

It is pain, but from personal experience I can honestly say pain can either make you stronger or break you. The choice is yours.

In other news I mourn for three deaths, Lemmy of Motorhead, David Bowie the Goblin King and Alan Rickman. I wish for a glorious afterlife for these amazing men where ever their faiths took them.

The First Meeting

So I’ve had my first not so official meeting with some of the other people in the kindred I had just recently joined. I was really starting to feel bad. After I first met the Chieftain at Pagan Pride, he invited to me to quite a few things and the timing on each was always bad, either had plans with others already or just didn’t have the money to be driving out there. Yes it is only an hour to where they typically meet  (at the Chieftain’s house) but still.

So this past Saturday they had a community outreach thing. We gathered food, blankets, scarves, purses, backpacks, and toilets to hand out to the homeless in Saint Louis. It was some members of the kindred and some that were wiccans that were associated with the Chieftain’s wife’s friend (getting a little complicated there). It was the first time meeting the Chieftain’s wife.

I was already really nervous. I have very mild social anxiety (mostly when it is with people I don’t know) and have an anxiety issue with driving to places I’m not familiar with. I call myself the queen of getting lost, even with GPS I tend to have to turn around at least twice. It was my first time driving to Illinois (and I was making the trek alone), going to someone’s house I didn’t know to a gathering where I only really know two people (the Chieftain being one who I had met all of one time). To say the least I was super nervous.

I made it there without getting lost a single time (even though GPS was trying to take me two houses down, oh wonderful technology) and I was actually pretty calm on my drive up there.  I didn’t freak out once and that is a pretty big step for me. On the way home, that was a different story but that was more because of idiotic drivers.

I was the first to get there. I pulled up in the driveway and left my car running to knock on the door and ask where I should park. That is always an issue for me, where to park.

So I was the first to get there, and ended up hanging out with two people I never met before (the hostess and her friend). Normally I would be a nervous wreck, but I was actually calm. Got introduced a really cool band called Rising Appalachia. Not my usual kind of music but I actually really enjoy it (the hostess and her friend both Wiccan). Other people didn’t start showing up until about an hour later.

I met a lot of people, actually socialized quite a bit, helped put together the lunch bags and the toiletry bags. It was a lot of fun.

Once all that was done we all gathered into cars and went searching for the homeless.

The hostess actually does this kind of stuff quite often and knew a couple places where they would actually gather so it wasn’t very hard. Apparently there was a shelter/church of sorts that would actually boot them out at 6 a.m. (wonderful aren’t they?) so they tend to gather right next to it.

I had carpooled with the Chieftain’s wife, her friend and another guy (the only Wiccan in the car, he told me he tends to be on the more Druid side because he hates the fluffy parts of Wicca). We seemed to be out of the loop most of the time so at each stop we were there pretty much right as they got through handing out to everyone. The last stop we got there in time to hand out a couple bags. The last stop was not so good.

First of all, the moment I got out of the car I smelled the very distinct smell of weed, fresh. Priorities I guess. They were pretty ungrateful too, one very large guy kept coming over and asking for more and more stuff. We had to have enough to hand out to others. I kept my mouth shut though. Then a bit later we were sitting in the near by parking lot about to head out. There were two in a van that looked like it might have been for sale, it had numbers painted on the windshield, but I didn’t think much of it. There were a couple of kids with us, and they had gone over to the van to get them some food too. I was watching this happen in the car with the other people I carpooled with. Suddenly the sandwich in the  bag went to the ground. Didn’t think much of it, probably fell. Kid went over and picked it up and handed it back to the guy. Turn around, sandwich was back on the ground. Now I was starting to get pissed. That is when the Chieftain’s wife spoke up, telling them to get the kids away from the van. She noticed it was being done on purpose now too, and she said she saw someone go over to the van with a wad of cash in their hand (probably where the weed was being bought from). Sandwich back on the ground. The hostess’s husband went over and handed the bag back. He is a biker looking dude, long beard, and a bit of a build on him. Honestly he was kind of attractive but I digress. He said something to them, smile on his face, and the sandwich didn’t go back to the ground. I think he said something to them, probably asking them to stop so they don’t discourage the kids because up until then the kids were really enjoying themselves.

Honestly, the incident put me off a little bit. But then I remembered seeing a couple of the guys with a scarf I had bought on, big smiles on their faces. I gave what I could, mostly stuff from goodwill and 5 below ( a store that sells quite a bit of stuff that is either $5 or cheaper if you are unfamiliar) and the toiletries came from Dollar Tree. I felt kind of bad, like I didn’t give enough but I have to be able to take care of myself first. Despite that last stop, I had a pretty good time.

I learned a couple of things about this kindred that I’m joining too.

As all of you know I am pretty woo orientated, which I’m aware tends to be seen as unacceptable in the wide Heathen community.

The chieftain’s friend was a very flamboyant gay man ( not saying that as a bad thing), so I was really glad to see that. There was some drama involving him (more at him) before but he had been welcomed back and the chieftain’s wife made it very clear to the group as a whole that intolerance would not be accepted which was super awesome to see! Also on the drive the chieftain’s wife and her friend were talking about direct contact with Odin, as in Odin talking to them and giving them messages. And the Chieftain’s wife talked about a spirit she referred to as Bear contacting her. So seems to be some woo prevalent. Woo!

This was my first event with them and really a more casual way to start out with them. So far they were super nice, and seemed to like me. The Chieftain told me before leaving he hopes to see me a lot more and his wife gave me a hug. I’m meeting with them again this next coming Sunday for Yule. Nervous, again. Have to drive to Illinois again (though the Chieftain assured me it was closer than the hostess’s house), and meet even more new people, that and this is the first ritual I’ve ever gone to ever. The pressure!

I know I’ve been very quiet as of late, lots of stuff has been going on. I’m  really debating on sharing some news (it’s kinda big). I had a couple ideas of posts I wanted to do but the brain has been pretty scrambled so they just never happened.

Until next time loves.

Ancestors-Hel

No, not like the Christian hell.

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not how I see her but I do enjoy the sweetness of this picture

She is definitely one of the Goddesses that gets little attention, and when she does people tend to think of her as evil. Why? Because people think anything associated with death is evil, except Death is the absolute Neutral. Personally in pagan religions, I don’t really see “evil” as a thing (in reference to Gods, people can definitely be evil). There is light and dark. Both need to be worked with or there is no balance. But that’s getting off topic.

Hel (means Hidden in Old Norse), the Goddess of the dead, daughter of Loki and Angrboda, born in the Ironwood.

She is known as Hel, Hela, Halja, or (some say) Leikin (the name the Alfar call her, not sure on that one though). The Goddess to whom “all is seen”.

There isn’t much in the way of information about her in the lore. The most prominent story is that of her involvement in the story of Baldur’s death.

Following the death of Baldur, the goddess Frigga sends Hermóðr to offer Hel ransom. Hermóðr begs Hel to allow his brother to return home, because Baldur is so loved by the gods of the Æsir. Hel tells him only if all things in the world, alive or dead, weep for him, then he will be allowed to return to the Æsir. A female jotun refused so He stayed.

The prominence to this (though most only pay attention to the Loki part) is that even the Gods are not above Death.

She has the wolf Garm who resides in Gnipahellir, sometimes used interchangeably with Her brother Fenrir (which my belief is He doesn’t guard Helheim like Garm but does work with His sister), as one of the gaurds. The other being Modgud.

Garm is a new one to me. Most of what I see really equates him with Fenrir so I am pretty iffy about Him. They say to appease him you give him a piece of cake, but only after you have already given bread to the poor.

Modgud, called the Guardian Goddess, gaurds the bridge (Giallarbru) over the river Gjoll which leads to Helheim. Not finding much on Her so far.

I also see Hel as having a nature aspect. In modern times (especially for pagans) we have a romanticized view of nature. We see it as this sort of beautiful thing. Nature is beautiful, yes, but it is also dangerous, unfeeling and always renewing itself. I think of Hel having a nature aspect in the death of things to make room for the new. Animals die, rot in the earth to provide nutrients for new life. The forest fires that clear out the dead from the forest floor and enriches the soil for new growth. Death is a very important part of the cycle in Life. It is a necessity.

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I do not by any means think I am any kind of expert on the Lady of Death.  I don’t really even have a working relationship with Her at the moment. I’m doing what I always do. Research.

Why am I including Her in the Ancestor series? Because She is the one that cares for Them.

There is this romanticized notion in the Heathen community that we all want to go to Valhalla. That really isn’t realistic, especially in modern times. Our ancestors, before Christianization (which the Christian ancestors are a different story and will be touched on a later post) didn’t all die in battle and most likely didn’t get claimed by a certain God to take to Their hall. That leaves only Helheim, where Hel cares for them.

Here is a little information. This will probably be updated as I find out more, still in early stages of research. Keep in mind I didn’t create this list.

  • Colors: Black, white
  • Symbols: Skull, red roses, dried roses, bones, “Day of the Dead”-type skeleton images
  • Altar suggestions: Skulls, skeleton images, grave rubbings, skeletal hands, bones, dried roses, black shrouds, black mirror, black and white candles, plantain leaves, rue, wormwood, yarrow, yew, the runes Ear (sometimes combined with Raido for the Helroad) and Hagalaz, sometimes Othala. It is not uncommon for a Hel altar to be an ancestor harrow as well, with pictures of and offerings to one’s own beloved Dead.
  • Food and drink: Tea, good wine, apples (Hel has an orchard of Her own); meat, bread, soup, meals that your ancestors would have liked, blood; good quality chocolate, coffee beans. Hel likes dried, well-preserved flowers, especially dried roses. She also likes blood, as do all the Death deities. Some people offer her tea, or food that can sit on an altar and rot. (Don’t take it away until it is entirely desiccated, no matter what happens.) Don’t approach her altar with an unhealthy attitude toward death and decay.

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When I am finally able to set up my Ancestor Altar (money is the issue on buying stuff for it), Hel will definitely have a special place.

She will be touched on more as I go through this series, and I maybe even start up a relationship with Her.

I’ve met Her once. I see her as being half pale and half blue-black (think frostbite), the pale half having darker dirty blonde hair and the blue-black half with almost white hair. She is quite beautiful, but forces you to look at the not so beautiful aspects of Death right in the face.

If any of you have more information (or if anything you see here is inaccurate) please share.

Hail the Goddess of the Dead.

Until next time loves!

October is approaching

Just a little side note first.

I might be a little on the inactive side. Fenrir is requesting I keep some of the relationship work private (understandably so). I will try to post when something starts itching and needs to be shared. But as far as my relationships with Thor and Fenrir, I’m going to be very selective in what I share. Just working on the relationships and with the way things are going right now it is a bit on the sensitive side. Thor has been pretty rare in appearances as of late, working, so that is making things just a tad more difficult (I’m not complaining, its just a fact.)

In other news, I’m starting to feel Skadi touching at the edge of my senses.

I think she is coming back! Seems The Hunt starting so early is bring her around a lot earlier as well.

Any way, now on topic.

October is definitely my favorite month.

First of all, autumn. All things Halloween-y. And just the feel in the air is like pot to me (not crack because it is incredibly relaxing). Fenrir is showing me he has some pretty strong ties to fall as well.

I’m a lot more active spiritually, physically and emotionally during fall. Summer heat drains me to where I’m barely functional. I hide inside in the AC (plus I burn incredibly easily) and just watch TV mostly. During fall I actually go out and do shit and it really lifts my spirit. Not to mention it means the holidays are on their way and I love the holiday season. Just has a warm fuzzy feel to it that I can’t get enough of. My boyfriend tried saying he was a scrooge.  I made sure he knew that wasn’t going to fly with me. I pulled the “you’re going to be happy about the holidays whether you want to or not, and you’re gonna like it!” He doesn’t seem to be too upset about it. I’m getting this Christmas sweater I found. On it it says “Fa la la la la, Valhalla la” with a shield, axe and sword on it. I showed it to him and he wanted one too. I joked about having matching sweaters and he even actually agreed to taking a picture with me of us both wearing it (he hates taking pictures) so I think he is okay with it all.

I’m starting to make plans for October.

I’m going to Pagan Pride in the city. Super excited about that. Going with my best friend and this is the first time either of us has gone. I don’t know what to expect but it will be nice being surrounded by other pagans.

Planning some trips to the local graveyards. I’m going to be ordering soon some crystals for offerings to the spirits. Not so excited about going to visit my grandmother’s grave. I haven’t gone in a long time, and I know it will be emotion filled. She died on my ninth birthday, with me being mad  Freya is pushing for me to bring my boyfriend with me for that reason. What he sees of my is about 70% independent woman who has been single forever and very much prefers to take care of things herself, and about 30% giant dorky goofball (I am the master of weird faces). She insists that he needs to see a much more vulnerable side of me. Not looking forward to that. Not so good at showing my vulnerable side. I’m a Cancer, I hide in my shell when I’m vulnerable.

I’m going to go out and spend as much time as possible outside before it gets too cold.

I’m going to try working getting my tattoo somewhere in there, or at least in November. It is more of a money issue, plus not sure where I’m going to go. Probably going to try the artist that did my best friend’s tat. Also still trying to figure out exactly what it is going to be.

That got a bit rambly.

Until next time loves.

Happy Thor’s day!

For the Love of the Golden Goddess

Kind of going along the lines of the tarot reading I did for Thor and Fenrir, I decided might as well keep it going for all of the Gods in my life.

Next was Freya.

I haven’t talked too terribly much about her as of late but She is still very much an active member of my life.

I asked her what She would like out of our relationship. I was consulting my Mystic Faerie Tarot deck.

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The Eight of Cups was the first card I pulled.

Just for information purposes, if you aren’t particularly familiar with tarot, the cups cards are usually dealing with emotions.

In the Mystic Faerie tarot each card as a story about the faerie on the card. This one apparently fell in love with a wood elf that disappeared. The card depicting her looking for her beloved elf, having found a dragonfly as a companion that knows the homes of the elves.

 Are you kidding me? Thank you for being so obvious that the message is from you Lady.

In the “your message” section of the description of this card, it said basically you already know what needs to be done but you have to be brave enough to do it.

Well thanks for being semi cryptic. So I pulled another one for clarity.

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The Empress was the next one I pulled.

Interesting history with this card. When I did a reading for my older sister forever ago, her wanting to know if she is ever going to have children, this was her  future card. Was made pretty obvious that it was going to happen, she just needed to be patient and get her spending under control (the rest of that is from the rest of the card, pentacles was heavy in the spread, the money suit). She didn’t believe me, having convinced herself she was barren.  For the new players at home, she is in fact currently pregnant. I still need to perform for her the “I told you so” dance. If you don’t know what that is, its a dance Elliot from Scrubs does.

Any who, back on topic.

The Empress is very much about love and nurturing. This deck specifically talks about finding the beauty in what would normally be considered plain (the stalks of wheat).

When looking at the first card, I had my suspicions on what She was talking about, and The Empress confirmed it.

Since Freya has come into my life, she consistently forces me to look myself in the eye. Forces me to see my own beauty despite how painful it may be for me (and with my history, it is painful). And once I do that, I am shown the beauty in others. To revel in it. That is what she wants of me. To see the beauty in all things and to show others the same. To not be afraid to be loud about it, to go forward.

She feels I am even more qualified for this with my work with Thor and Fenrir, my work in strength and of unbinding.

To show the strength in beauty and the beauty in strength.

The other day, for the first time ever, I gave her an offering in tears.

A video was brought to my attention. A video of an over weight woman that stripped to just a bra and underwear in a crowded city square. She put a blind fold on herself, and held markers in her hands that were outstretched.

The amount of love she received really brought me to tears, and Freya asked for them which I lovingly obliged.

That is all I have on this for the moment.

Until next time loves.